The Lukiest Arabs Ever!!

If you were auspicious enough to have read The Dura-II you’d be aware that a man received only $400,000 after a company installed a penile implant which gave him a permanent erection lasting him the last 10 years, a suit which I believe is worth at least 5 million. That case made me loose faith in the entire Judicial system, but I guess generous Judges and Juries still do exist causing these Arabs to win the award for “Luckiest Arabs Ever”.

And the award goes to............ Edgar Rizkallah and Kamil Issa (I have a feeling Edgar is his “American” name, I doubt Mahmoud and Shareefa gave birth to “Edgar”). Two Lebanese-American FedEx drivers who sued FedEx because their boss of two years had been “harassing” them with “slurs” like “camel jockey”, “terrorist”, “Hezbollah” and I kid you not “Arabs”.

This requires further analysis…. While being lucky enough to have a stupid judge and jury these guys were also lucky enough to have a lawyer who was genius enough to convince a court that “Arab” is a racial slur. What could their argument possibly have been, “we prefer Phoenician?” As far as “Hezbollah”, these guys are Lebanese and were in Lebanon during Lebanon’s many civil wars, what are the chances they weren’t in Hezbollah!? I get called “terrorist” and “camel jockey” everyday, I think every Arab-American does, what’s the problem, a matter of fact I refer to myself as camel jockey, it’s a great ice breaker.

Now for the good stuff, you’re going to be pissed when you hear this, the Jury awarded these guys $61 Million. Yea that’s right $61 Million for their emotional distress, say it with me, CHA-CHING!! Even better the harassment occurred before 9/11 and the suit was filed 4 months before 9/11. However the trial didn’t start until after 9/11 which definitely boosted the sensitivity meter.

Imagine if you were called in to sit on the jury, its just after 9/11 and some Arabs come in talking about being harassed, you would give them anything they asked for and apparently they did.. Lucky for these guys we live in a country where super liberals control popular thought and every other person acts like the political correctness police. Wouldn’t it be ironic if these guys actually were terrorists and they used their settlement to fund a terrorist training camp?!