Monday, December 18, 2006

D.B. Goes To A Graduation, Causes Trouble, Has Fun.

A couple weeks ago I received an informal invitation from my friend, "Self Hating Egyptian" to join him and his family at his younger brothers college graduation ceremony. It took me at least two weeks to decide whether or not to go because even though its my friend, who really wants to go to a graduation ceremony, seriously? I can think of 1 billion things I would rather do like sit on a hot grill or be awake during eye surgery. Anyway, I decided to go out of obligation. When I arrived I greeted my friends parents, surveyed the scene and braced myself for what I expected to be 2 and a half hours of excruciating boredom.

The first group to be presented with diplomas were the doctoral graduates. As each name was called the doctoral grads would approach the stage and receive their "hood" as the announcer read off their name and title of their dissertation, this turned out to be the first entertaining moment of the ceremony. It went something like this...

Announcer: "Steven Hernandez, title of dissertation, Condom Use Among Latino Men Who Have Sex With Latino Men"

The two black girls in front of me immediately turned to each other and screamed, "WHAAAT? OH HELL NAW! NASTY!"

I looked over at my friends parents just in time to see their faces turn white and expressionless...Priceless moment!

As hilarious as that was it was only enough to entertain me for a few minutes and then it was back to entertaining myself, luckily for me the announcer was reading off 10 of the most complicated names known to mankind and destroying every one of them.

Announcer: "Baalasurabumanahnon Shah"

Yours Truly in a very loud voice: "Oh my God, that last name was like 17 syllables long!"

Announcer: "Vkrbtn Njknyvn"

Your Truly in a very loud voice: "What country is that kid from? I don't think his name has any vowels in it!"

Announcer: "Vishal Harddeek Patel"

Yours Truly in a very loud voice: "Is that kids name hard dick?!"

At this point everyone within hearing distance is laughing so hard they are crying and the black girl in front of me is choking on her drink, finally she turns around and says, "You is goin' to hell".

10 minutes later, bored again so I decide to make fun of "Self Hating Egyptians" brother...

Yours Truly: "Your brother is an education major right?"

S.H.E: "Yea."

Yours Truly: "Wow that must be the easiest degree ever" (sorry Carmen, just teasing :P )

The black girl in front of me turns around and yells, "excuse me!?"

Yours Truly: "Let me guess you're an education major?"

Black girl: "Damn right!"

I'm not doing a great job of getting on this girls good side but S.H.E. thinks he's going to steal the spotlight, so he looks at me, winks and says...

S.H.E: "Dude you're stupid, there is no easier degree than Communications"

Black Girl: "What!?"

S.H.E: "Double major?"

Black Girl: "Yea"

Strike two! What a dumb ass. Thank God that girl was there, she was hilarious. I just talked to her and her friend "Trina" the rest of the ceremony and cracked jokes, I haven't laughed that hard in forever. By the time the announcer called our friends name we had "Trina", her friend and her family cheering for him along with us.


At 9:52 AM, Blogger Carmen said...

That's alright D.B. :P

Education is actually my third degree, but you is definitely going to hell!


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home