Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Question Time.

A stolen idea from Carmen

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Whom would you blow up?

I hate so many people, I can't begin to imagine who I would bless with an explosion. My hit list is a constantly changing document but currently heading the list is a particularly obnoxious heifer from the western U.S. who I want to strangle within an inch of her life and maybe detonate too! (too violent?)

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
There is a rapper named Tony Yayo, he is easily the least talented of all the worlds musicians.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Tony Yayo

4. What is your favo
rite cheese?
Fresh mozzarella. Most people outside of the eastern U.S. have no idea what that is but its not just your usual mozzarella, its actually a soft water based goat cheese mozzarella that is so delicious the only words that could describe it are *scrum-diddly-umptous*

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
A chicken cutlet sandwich with roasted red peppers, fresh mozzarella and Italian dressing on french bread.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice? Jeez, I don't know. Probably Eva Mendez

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
Why are these questions so hard? There are several women that come to mind but the problem is that the woman of my dreams doesn't exist. Where do I find the beauty of Haifa with the buttocks of Serena Williams and the grace and class of some woman God has yet to create. The closest thing would have to be a tie between two Arabic singers Marwa and Melissa. watch the videos, you'll thank me!

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Wastefully certainly. I would probably buy myself and some friends dinner like an idiot.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Egypt. Why Egypt? Where else am I going to get room and board for free? Plus I need to make a visit back there anyway.

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
First I would ask myself, "who is the poor American tourist who lost his $100 bill?" then I pick it up, exchange it for 600 Egyptian Pounds spend half of it on crap, take the other half and fly to Dubai for a couple days.

11. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Taxes!! I would set up the tax laws that would make me (the King) filthy rich.

12. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?
My show would be called "Rump Shaker" it would be an HOUR long featuring women of my choice shaking their butts in the camera. (too much butt fantasy?)

13. What is your favorite curse word?
In Arabic, "Rooh Shookh ala Neffsek" in other words "Go poop on yourself"

14. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Ask for their names and see if we're related.

15. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the item?
Certainly my laptop, my life would be on pause without it.

16. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Take a nap on my couch or eat a chicken cutlet sandwich.

17. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
I've always wanted to read minds but can you imagine how disturbing that would be. Think about all the crazy crap that passes through your mind. You know the stuff you say just because no one can hear it. I think you would kill yourself after 2 days. I think I will choose the power to instantly transport myself anywhere at any time.

18. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
This might sound depressing but there is not one single half hour in my life I would relive again. Nothing in my mind stands out as 'worth it'.

19. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool stuff... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?
Why cant I go to my private Island? Whatever, if I was rich I would go to Brazil, if I was poor I would go to France.

20. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, ... I can FLOAT!"?
Float? Like hover? I guess I would "float" over to my friend Easy Money's place and tell him I can "float". What a stupid question! Seriously "float"?

21. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?

I have a deep hate for celebrities and celebrity worship! However I would bring back Abdel Halim Hafez because it would make everyone happy and maybe even inspire peace in the Middle East. (yea right)

22. The Gates of Hell have opened, and Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
My Uncle, he was sick for at least 10 years before he died and I know my mother misses him. I miss him too. I don't have a deep attachment to the dead though, I fairly easily accept death as part of life.

23. What's your theme song?
Sir Mix-a-Lot -
Baby got Back


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