Monday, November 06, 2006

How To Spot An American Born Terrorist

I received a comment on my last post by "d.b. Admirer" saying, "d.b. would you educate us about how to spot an American terrorist for your next blog entry? Thanks very much. :) " At first I thought what a weird request, then I remembered that I promised to write a post by that title over 2 weeks ago. What a colossal ASS I am for forgetting. Well thank you to my personal admirer for reminding me, its about time my readers made suggestions on posts! Anyway, as promised...

How To Spot An American Born Terrorist

1. Is a huge fan of 9/11 conspiracy theories specifically those which leave Osama bin Laden innocent and which find Jew's guilty!

2. Has at some point traveled to the Middle East for an extended amount of time to "learn Arabic".

3. Rolls his pant legs up so that his pants don't touch the "impure ground".

4. Doesn't speak Arabic but uses Arabic terms habitually especially in contexts in which they marginally apply for example, "Walla (I swear to God) bro I'm so hungry" and "I only eat
halal, humdullilah (thank God)"

5. Describes non-Iraqi insurgents as people defending their country.

6. Is angry about and objects to Saddam Hussein's death sentence.

7. Hates Palestinians but protests over Israel's occupation of the West Bank and Gaza Strip.

8. Insists that ALL civilians killed in Iraq were killed by the hands of the U.S. and completely ignores the fact that the large majority of civilians have been killed by other Muslims in sectarian skirmishes.

9. Has a wife that looks like this...

10. Sincerely believes Hezbollah defeated Israel and believes anyone who thinks otherwise is a Zionist.

11. Argues that countries that don't practice Shari'a are not Muslim countries regardless of their mostly Muslim population.

12. Hates Housni Mubarak, not because he is a perpetual leader and dictator but because he accepts money from the U.S. and doesn't fight Israel.

13. Is not Saudi Arabian but cheers for Saudi Arabia during World Cup.

14. Denies al Qaeda exists and describes Osama bin Laden as a good Muslim.

15. Refers to all non Muslims, specifically Americans as Kaffir's (Infidels)


At 2:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

u combined ignorance, stupidity, psychological sickness (not only paranoia) in writing this post... congratulations... u qualify for the bullshit award...

At 2:50 AM, Blogger adham.khairy said...

lol, if you just didn't say "american" you would describe a whole lot of people living in Arab countries!!

It is amazing how some stupid thoughts are spreading amongst a lot of people and how they demonize the united states and everybody that has anything to do with it. Well, it is not the fairest country in the world, to us at least, but come on, don't you think that as a super power, they have the right to look after their interests? why do you think they'd give a damn about us?

But, its truly amazing how is it that because we hate america, or at least say we do, that we ignore some obvious facts like that saddam deserves to die, that osama is a terrorist, if not by killing thousands on 9/11 then by killing thousands of afghanis and oppressing their women, and that the mere fact that mekka is located in Saudi Arabia doesn't make it the most islamic country in the world...

At 10:34 AM, Blogger Rhino-itall said...

adham- actually the U.S. IS the fairest country in the world. to you and everyone else.

At 10:48 AM, Blogger Egypeter said...

I'd say that's a pretty spot on complilation D.B.

I think anon fits at least one, if not all of those points, and that's why he/she/it took offense.

#9 made me chuckle.

And if America "is not the fairest country in the world, to us at least," then what is? Muslims have WAY more rights in the U.S. then in Egypt! Or any other Arab/muslim country in the world!

At 12:31 PM, Blogger D.B. Shobrawy said...

Ahhhh yes, I love anonymous commentors. Anon, I would guess you either
A) have never read this site before. B) Dont have a sense of humor.
C) Are paranoid because you fit several if not all of these characteristics.
D) Are a dumb ass or
E) All of the Above

At 12:54 PM, Blogger Egypeter said...

You mean one's with no balls that hide behind the anonymity of the internet??

At 11:04 AM, Anonymous ha ana za said...

LOL....loved the post DB! I reckon that this descibes a hell of a lot of people in Egypt, most disturbingly amongst them my own dad.
As to anon- I reckon he's doing the rounds.

At 12:34 PM, Blogger Miss Carnivorous said...

Brilliant! Despite the fact that Osama Ben Landau is a Zionist jew, the rest of your points are right on! What is the difference between the Muslims that worship Osama for his great success on 9/11 and the ones who say he is not guilty of 9/11. They must be of two different mindsets.

At 1:39 PM, Blogger Egyptian magician said...

I feel offended that you all have generalized. You are basically saying that someone who has an opinion different than yours, although non-violent, is a terrorist. Shobrawy, you should know better.

At 5:39 PM, Blogger Um Haleema said...

Oh MY God! You just gave me the heebie jeebies. I live with this person you just described! Except #2 but I guess there is still time for that. And of course #9 because that IS the person that I live with.


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