Wednesday, October 25, 2006

My Car Accident.

Tonight Some friends and I made plans to go and watch the Chicago Bulls game at our favorite Arabic coffee shop, so I drove downtown to pick up my friend, Doctor D. After I scooped him up we headed towards the highway down one of Chicago's busiest streets, Ontario. Driving down that street is always a disaster waiting to happen because the end of the street runs directly into the highway, its a mad dash to switch lanes and turn before hitting the point of no return. Add that to the fact that the city is filled with Nigerian taxi cab drivers on a suicide mission and you have a gauntlet worthy of American Gladiators (I miss that show).

However it wasn't a Nigerian cab driver who caused this accident, it was much worse than that. Allow me to paint the picture. I'm sitting at the traffic light waiting for it to turn green when.....BLAM! I get rear ended. Everything goes flying, loose change, a water bottle, a pair of chopsticks, things I didn't even know I owned and what I think was a shard of glass, I thought my rear window shattered. It was terrible, I almost spilled my tea. I look to my friend...

Yours Truly: Dude are you O.K.?

Doctor D: What was that!

Yours Truly: What do you think you idiot?

Doctor D: I don't know!

Yours Truly: Just shut up!

I pull over and push the shifter towards park except it wont go into park, I look down and find two pennies wedged in the shifter slot. I pull them out, get out of the car and I swear, the first thing I think is, "It better not be an Asian Driver". Of course because all stereotypes are true and Asians are known to be bad drivers, the perpetrator just so happened to be an Asian girl driving a BMW. Our conversation went like this...

Yours Truly: What happened, you didn't see me?

Stupid Asian Girl: No, I sorry. I look I think you stop.

My internal thought: Great an Asian with no depth perception!

Yours Truly: You think "I stop"? The light was red!

Stupid Asian Girl: I sorry, you are OK?

Yours Truly: Yea we're fine, let me get your information.

While she's filling out her info I see a cop car coming our way. Thank God right? Wrong, he makes a quick left into the McDonald's parking lot and pulls into a handicapped spot only 30 feet away from us, I know he saw us. So I tell Doctor D to run and grab him to make an accident report. Doctor D goes skipping over and apparently the conversation went like this...

Doctor D: Excuse me officer, we just got into an accident could you make a report.

Officer Jag Off: Is anyone hurt!?

Doctor D: No.

Officer Jag Off: Are the cars drivable?

Doctor D: Yes.

Officer Jag Off: O.K. well we're on break so we'll call it in when we're done.

Doctor D: Uhh O.K. thanks!

Chicago's finest ladies and gentlemen!


At 11:06 AM, Blogger Egypeter said...

Well, first of all, thank God you're OK man! That's some pretty crazy stuff and thankfully you ain't hurt!

Also, is that really your car? Because that sure as hell doesn't look "drivable."

And thirdly, I ABHOR ABHOR Chicago policemen. I think it's required that you be a CERTIFIED ASSHOLE to take a job with the CPD. Not that I'm a criminal or anything, but my encounters with Chicago cops (not Copts :) have been anything but pleasant...they're all jerks and incredibly rude...sorta like how all Asian women can't

Well, glad you're ok man :)

At 11:19 AM, Blogger D.B. Shobrawy said...

No thats deffinately not my car and yes I HATE Chicago police officers, they are like bees usually they wont mess with you if you dont give them a reason. However when you do need their help geez, good luck.

At 11:39 AM, Anonymous ha ana za said...

Had me scared there for a minute- thought that was your car! Jeez!
Glad you came out in one piece tho!
I think cops all over are like that...same sort of thing in the UK too! You can't escape!

At 2:07 PM, Blogger Egypeter said...

Yeah ha ana za, but I think the Chicago ones are a little more vile for some reason, unless you find a female cop, they're significantly sweeter...maybe has to do with my charm?

At 12:18 AM, Blogger Donkeyhue said...

You should see the other guy

At 11:15 AM, Anonymous Jezebel said...

Other guy, Donkeyhue? The Asian girl?

The same thing happened to me with a bitch in a pussywagon. Cops did nothing. Didnt care. Nobody cared.

Thats when you follow them home.

At 2:41 PM, Blogger Leilouta said...

OMG!!!! I thought the picture was of your car too...ouf el7amdellah lebes :)

At 4:27 PM, Blogger Miss Carnivorous said...

Well Oakland cops would have dragged you behind a building and kicked your rugged ass, then searched your car for drugs. We have special lights for Asians here in Chinatown. They are 4 way stop lights. All the cars at a four way intersection are stopped and pedestrians can walk all ways, even diagonally. These were designed to make it possible to get accross the street without being mowed down by Asian drivers with no depth perception or value for human life. The community put up a sign in the Asian Senior Center window that said "Driving is a priviledge, walking is a right."


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