Monday, September 25, 2006

Hold The Bacon!

About a week before the start of Ramadan I met up a female Muslim friend for lunch, with Ramadan soon approaching, religion was an inevitable topic of conversation. We were walking downtown on the way to the sandwich shop and so it began..

Yours Truly: Are you dreading the start of Ramadan or are you prepared this time?

The Friend: Umm, I'm not going to fast, I just don't see the point, I mean I'm not your typical Muslim.

Yours Truly: What do you mean?

The Friend: Well I drink alcohol, I don't wear a Hijab, I don't pray, I wear clothes that show my cleavage and I just don't agree with a lot of Islamic teaching.

Yous Truly: Hahaha. Yea I don't think you own a shirt that doesn't show your cleavage, you dress like a stripper!

The Friend: Shut up! The point is I don't know if I'm Muslim, I don't think I believe in any of it.

Yours Truly: So you don't believe in God?

The Friend: No I believe in God it's just Islam, I don't think I agree with any of it.

Yours Truly: OK this is too heavy for a Monday, can we eat now?

At this point we arrived at the restaurant and stepped up to the counter to order, my friend ordered first.

The Friend: Hi how are you? Can I get a turkey bacon wrap with NO bacon.

Cashier: No problem, anything else?

The Friend: No but its really important that you don't put bacon on it.

Cashier: No problem ma'am, I promise, no bacon.

The Friend: OK thank you.

Yours Truly: Haha, what are you allergic to bacon?

The Friend: No, eating pork is Haram ( a sin ).

Yours Truly:Hahahahaha

The Friend: What!?

Yours Truly: You just said you don't believe in Islam, you drink and we both know you dress like a street walker, so who cares about pork!?

The Friend: I don't understand what you mean.

Yours Truly: Nevermind!


At 1:04 AM, Blogger Donkeyhue said...

Every post you put a picture in, yet the story about the stripper friend draws a blank. Id like to lodge a formal complaint with the graphics dept.

At 6:07 AM, Anonymous Ha Ana Za said...

Why is that however lapsed we muslims get we all seem to hang on to the no pork part???

At 9:08 AM, Blogger D.B. Shobrawy said...

Donkey are you suggesting a picture of the stripper friend would be more appropriate for the story and that somehow I have failed you?

At 2:09 PM, Blogger Donkeyhue said...

Thats right.

At 2:29 PM, Blogger Leilouta said...

I think it is a habit. I don't eat pork either, not because it is haram but because I am not used to eating it. It would be like eating donkey or something(no offense donkeyhue :)

At 3:37 PM, Blogger Donkeyhue said...

A priest and a muslim stripper were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the muslim stripper and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The muslim stripper responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the muslim stripper replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a bacon sandwich." The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the muslim stripper spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The muslim stripper then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

The priest replied, "Yes, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."

The muslim stripper nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes. Finally, the muslim stripper said,

"Beats the shit out of a bacon sandwich, doesn't it?"

At 5:18 PM, Blogger D.B. Shobrawy said...

Donkey my good man, I can always count on you for a good joke.

At 7:55 PM, Blogger Donkeyhue said...

Thats what the stripper said...

At 11:04 PM, Blogger Solomon2 said...

Such thinking is very much like the deist movement of the French philosophes in the eighteenth century. The idea is to feel close to G-d without subscribing to the hypocrisies of organized religion...

At 10:20 AM, Blogger Twosret said...

Well reading this I think donkeyhue should stay out of this topic heheee

" Monks would mince pork meat in a mortar and this gave birth to its name.According to the Dominican Friar,Labat(1706) the "mortadella" consisted of donkey meat ,wild boar meat and domestic pig meat."

Eventhough we are Christians my mom never bought us any pork, pigs in Egypt live on garbage and as an Adult I don't eat pork.

I think twice adding pancetta to my italian dishes so I think your friend is better off without it.


At 10:59 AM, Blogger Egyptian magician said...

mmm....pork....oh so tender

At 11:01 AM, Blogger Egyptian magician said...

mmm pork....oh so tender.

At 6:10 PM, Blogger halalhippie said...

hah! this infidel Dane hasn't had a bite of pork for 20+ years. As Leilouta say, if you're not used to it, it's just....yuk!

At 12:00 PM, Blogger Forsoothsayer said...

yeah, i've noticed like ha ana za that most muslims however lapsed don't eat pork..when questioned they usually say, "well, i don't have to commit ALL the sins!" which makes sense.

i myself don't usually eat pork because have not developed a taste for it, having lived for 20 years in a country where it was illegal...but i will confess to be irrestiably addicted to egyptian pork mortadella, however garbagy it is. so yummy!


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