Wednesday, August 02, 2006

My Mother Is Trying To Kill Me.

I live in downtown Chicago and my parents live in the suburbs so I do my best to come back to the burbs to spend time with my family. I'm starting to believe it would be in my best interest to stay in Chicago. Every time I come home my Mother insists on feeding me, which is fine, I like her cooking and it saves me money, but my Mom has a problem, shes cheap! Sometimes cheap people, specifically housewives, push the limits of expiration dates on food but my mom doesn't just push those limits, she doesn't believe they exist. Last week when I was at her house, I went to the freezer and took a package of ground beef, when I got back to my place I made some hamburgers on the George Foreman Grill. After I finished my burgers I looked at the meat that was left and found a couple green speckles.

Q: How old does meat have to be to go bad in the freezer?

A: Really really old!

Needless to say I got sick. My mother refused to believe the meat was bad, she almost suggested I was making it up.

Today I'm home again, I grabbed a jar of sundried tomatoes out of the fridge that has grown some sort of algae. I swear to you these tomatoes were completely surrounded by a green and yellow fungus. My mother poked around it trying to see what she could salvage for half an hour, when she realized it was unsalvagable she got angry and yelled, "I paid 8 dollars for this jar!"

So Cheap!


At 2:42 PM, Blogger Miss Carnivorous said...

All my Arab friends have delicate stomachs and weird obsessions with their food and food hygiene. I hate to go out to eat with them because they invariably become ill after a meal. Let me tell you, your mother is fine! Oum Shobrawy eats the stuff from her freezer all the time and enjoys good health, thanks be to God. Green speckles and all. Your friend drank the bum crack sweat and suffered no ill effects. Habibi, the problem is within you. You have a sensitive tummy or a psychosomatic disorder. Perhaps you have a genetic disorder, are your parents 1st cousins?????? You have enough problems with the Zionists trying to kill you, do you think your Mama might be an agent of the Mossad? Doubtful, my friend, she may be no Julia Childs, but she does love her boy!

At 4:38 PM, Blogger D.B. Shobrawy said...

1st cousins no, mossad agent, possibly.

At 8:29 PM, Blogger Twosret said...

Oh No! poor Shobrawy, I would never touch a thing that is not fresh. Poor you :(

People are in denial sometimes, same goes with zionists who kill, occupy land etc... and say it never happened.

Look at Qana they are already saying nothing happened ;)

At 8:37 PM, Blogger Twosret said...

Here are two tips for you (sorry oum Shobrawy)

Sultan market, best falafel and home made style food.

Maza Restaurant, best lamb tartar (kebba naya) and many many other upper end lebanese dishes.

At 12:39 PM, Blogger D.B. Shobrawy said...

If you really want good stuff, there is a place in chicago called, SALAM. DELICIOUS!

At 3:29 PM, Blogger Twosret said...

next time I visit I will give it a try, I love visting Chicago, you have a great museum and Orchestra :)


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