We've Moved To www.whisperofmadness.com

HUGE Announcement!!!!!!

2007-02-13T00:01:00.000-06:00

Awesome news, I'm making the BIG switch, I'm going big time. If you link here please change the link address accordingly. So please follow me to....

WWW.WhisperofMadness.COM

Barack Obama: A Crack Head

2007-02-12T02:15:00.000-06:00

I have said it once and I will say it again, Barack Obama may be capable of being a good president, I don't know, but there simply are not enough people in the U.S. who are willing to vote a black man into office.

Here's a piece of belated advice for Barack Obama. If you have hopes of becoming the first Black president you might not want to be the first candidate to admit you have done cocaine. If the cards are stacked against you, don't add fuel to the fire.

If Obama does somehow become president he will be the third president in a row to admit to (or be strongly suspected of) past drug use. Wow, if that's not the American dream I don't know what is.

Lets Pick A Fight

2007-02-09T01:26:00.000-06:00

A little over a year ago when I first heard Iran's name pop up in, "should we attack them" talk, I thought what most reasonable human beings thought. "What are you crazy?!" I thought that it was irrelevant and hypothetical talk coaxed by panels of pundits. With the U.S.'s current situation in Iraq and Afghanistan, having their hands tied, how could the most uninformed person find it at all conceivable? Since then I have watched those hypothetical talks mutate into a certifiable possibility. I have chosen not to presume whether or not Iran is a genuine threat to the United States, however if they truly are the administration is still on the verge of a terrible mistake. For the United States the world stage must be dealt with like a wild, but caged, dog. Meaning if you are fighting one wild dog who has his teeth clenched onto your arm, don't proceed to release the caged dog from his cage. Finish the first dog with your free arm and once he is finished you may move on to the caged dog, if absolutely necessary. The cost to the U.S., Iran, their neighbors and the world would be far too great.

The last year has been like watching a train approach a school bus full of children, reflected by the latest headlines...

Iran's supreme leader said Thursday that if the United States were to attack Iran, the country would respond by striking U.S. interests all over the world — the latest sharp exchange in an escalating standoff between the two countries.

The best way to deal with Iran is to play smart, slow down the pace of incendiary talk, engage in a dialogue through foreign intermediaries and allow the approaching storm time to blow over even if the talks are superfluous. Basically stall!

Now here is the question, is the momentum of a conflict with Iran moving too quickly to be stopped? I hope so.

From The Belly Of The Beast Pt. 2

2007-02-08T01:30:00.000-06:00

Of the stories I've heard from Iraq this one is the most disturbing. Several months ago I hinted at the fact that I had met soldiers who had done terrible things in Iraq but before I tell you the story allow me to put on a disclaimer.

Don't E-mail me telling me to report this guy to the authorities and its my moral obligation and blah blah blah etc. First of all he's not my buddy, I cant remember his name and I wouldn't know how to get a hold of him even if I wanted, so all the moral police can kiss my booty!

I met this guy randomly who started chatting with me and wouldn't stop, we will refer to him as "Billy Bob". Billy Bob seemed a little....umm strange. You know the type, when they are talking you are thinking, "wow something is REALLY wrong with this guy, how am I going to get out of this?"

Billy Bob had just come back from Iraq after being injured, apparently he was doing house sweeps when he walked in on an insurgent making a whole bunch of bombs. Deciding not to go without taking some infidel soldiers with him, the insurgent bomb maker chose to detonate the bomb next to him as Billy Bob approached. The insurgents brains and intestines flew all over the place. Billy was thrown across the room and when he woke up he found his left arm and left leg torn open down to exposed bone.

Before he was injured Billy fought in the Marines for almost a year and he took pictures of everything, he showed me most of them on his iPod. I have to give it to him, this guy is a very talented photographer but unfortunately his picture taking included snapshots of almost everyone he killed and he was so casual about it. "Oh here is another guy I killed, he came out of the woods with a rocket launcher but I shot him about 5 times in the head before he could fire."

I looked at him and he had this crazy look in his eyes and a crazed smile, I asked him "whats the worst thing you saw there?" He told me one morning they were exchanging gun fire with insurgents in a house about 400 yards away but they couldn't see the shooters and after 3 hours of shooting the firing showed no signs of slowing down or stopping, so he and his buddies made the decision to fire a missile into the house that would penetrate the walls and explode on the inside in order to kill everyone in the building. They launched the missile and the shooting stopped, 3 days later they walked back to the house to inspect what or who they had killed. They found no insurgents inside only a pregnant women laying on the ground, riddled with metal fragments. The sun had baked her body, turning her skin black and forcing the baby out of her womb and onto the floor. His remark to me was, "I regret everyday that I didn't have my camera on me that day, I wanted a picture of it". He had no explanation or guess as to where the insurgents who fired on them had gone and he had no remorse for the woman and child they had killed.

Its stories like these that give me a vividly ugly image of the war and sometimes I wish I didn't know any better.

From The Belly Of The Beast Pt. 1

2007-02-07T00:37:00.000-06:00

I have been lucky enough to meet a lot of people who have lived in Iraq, still live in Iraq, have fought in Iraq or are still fighting in Iraq and the stories are amazing. Some sad, some sick, some scary. This week I will tell a few of them, consider it a multi-part series. I’ll start with this, the luckiest man on earth.

A friend of mine returned from Iraq about a year ago, his experiences were average at best, his convoy was attacked on his first mission, he drank a lot of beer and “had lots of fun”, surprisingly I hear that often. A few months into his deployment his group was sent out to inspect an abandoned hotel that was believed to have insurgents. He stepped out onto a 4^th floor balcony when he began to receive enemy fire coming from the ground approximately 200 yards away. He quickly knelt down and began to return fire, what followed was his very first fire fight. They fired back and forth at each other for around 30-45 mins, finally two insurgents came from around an adjacent building and pointed a rocket propelled grenade launcher directly at him. One man took aim while the other laid down covering fire (basically one aims while the other one shoots at anyone trying to stop him from launching the rocket). When the covering fire stopped he looked up just in time to see the insurgents fire the rocket propelled grenade. He bent down, closed his eyes and welcomed his imminent death. Several seconds went by and no explosion, still in one piece and still alive. He looked up to see the rocket tail sticking out of the wall above his head, the shell was defective and failed to detonate.

BTW: look at this space cadet fighting in sandles!!! The U.S. troops are struggling against dudes in sandles! Why?

Israel/Palestine Conflict For Sale

2007-02-06T01:19:00.000-06:00

This is nuts and I'm surprised I didnt hear about it before. I actually stumbled onto their advertisement while I was reading the news online. Check it out!

Go Away!

2007-02-06T00:37:00.000-06:00

2005: Danish newspaper prints cartoons depicting Muhammed, everyone goes nuts, riots, bombings, assasination plots, attacks on Danish embassies.

2007:

The Paris Grand Mosque and the Union of French Islamic Organizations are suing the satirical weekly Charline Hebdo, saying the cartoons are similar to anti-Semitic acts and Holocaust denial, which are illegal in France.

Go away already, I'm sick of this issue and the people who wont give up on it.

Well I suppose this is what we (bloggers who condemned the outrageous reactions of other arabs) wanted, you have to admit its alot better than riots and bombings.

The Weight Of The Hijab

2007-02-01T00:51:00.000-06:00

My personal opinion about the Hijab is that if a woman wants to wear it, that's her right and if a woman doesn't want to, then that's also her right. I don't care either way simply because her choice is between her and God. Sometimes I see people who are not Muslim who strongly object to the hijab out of an apparent disgust, not for any sophisticated reason. My opinion is that those people have a personal issue with Islam and I hope they one day resolve their prejudice. Basically if someones religious dress bothers you then your issue is with that religion not the clothing.

There is a more important issue surrounding the hijab which are the exhausting expectations people who dont wear a hijab have for people who do wear it. Recently a former Egyptian model (Naira El-Sheikh ), who made headlines for choosing to wear the hijab, is making headlines again for choosing to take it off because of those expectations.

I do believe Hijab is not just a dress code, it's a statement, a behavior and an attitude that you embrace,' said Naira. Nevertheless, she said that the society 'has come to expect so much from a veiled women.'

Upon donning the veil, the woman has to adopt certain conformist behavior that include maintaining a low-profile in public and abstaining from 'casual relationships' with the opposite sex.

Although this strict understanding of the veil is not outlined by the Koran, Naira explained that she tried to strictly abide by this socially-backed 'behavioral code' when she first took the veil on.

'I drastically changed my lifestyle but still it did not fit the expectations of some hardliners from both extremes - the so-called liberals and the so-called conservatives,' she observed.

Naira wore the headscarf, but juggled baggie pants, long skirts and long-sleeved shirts to preserve her individual style. Islamic scholars still disagree about the extent of how a Muslim woman should 'cover up.'

I've seen it a thousand times myself, there will be a girl who wears a hijab and everyone expects her to walk with her head down and never speak, its disgusting.

Naira is making a long overdue statement and I only hope the "conservative" jerks in Egypt don't make her life miserable.

Sifting Through The Rubbish

2007-01-31T00:28:00.000-06:00

My analysis through pictures

Love this pic! This guy is an Iraqi soldier and he looks like a bad ass, generally when you see Iraqi soldiers they have this scared and timid look on their faces. They remind me of the guys who approach you in the street and ask to shine your shoes, no honor or bravery whatsoever. Seriously look at this gun! Iraq needs about 250,000 more of these guys.

These are your typical Iraqi soldiers. Look at these goofy bastards! They look like shoe shine boys and I think the guy on the right has crossed eyes. He probably scored extremely low on the shooting test and got stuck doing kitchen duty.

Imagine this, you're in the Army and you carry this HUGE gun and you have to wear a scarf around your face to protect your identity. This guy particular is covering his face because his post is close to his home and if his neighbors find out he's a soldier he could end up a statistic.

I found this propaganda garbage on Flickr. In case you cant read the sub portion it says...

"One Person

634 American Soldiers Killed
206 American Soldiers Wounded
23 American Officers Killed
11 American Snipers Killed"

This scum bag probably doesn't know his face is plastered all over the Internet, you should have an easier time finding him and killing him, right?

By the way, I'm assuming this guy is JUBA and apparently he has returned from somewhere, I'm not quite sure where.

Five Things You Dont Know

2007-01-30T12:16:00.000-06:00

A tag from Arima

Five things you (probably) don't know about me.

1. I am an Egyptian nationalist to the extent that when listening to Arabic music I ONLY prefer Egyptian singers, I cant stand the sound of non-Egyptian Arabic dialects, every Egyptian I meet feels like a brother or a sister to me and I have trouble taking a relationship seriously unless the girl is Egyptian.

2. I talk to strangers where ever I go, the grocery store, at the bank, the airport, in traffic and especially in restaurants Its never a simple "hi how are you". I enjoy saying weird things to strangers. Something inside me really enjoys when they give me that crazy look like, "dont talk to me or I'll kill you" but when they have a clever response its like finding my soul mate. I've made alot of friends that way. Some of my friends hate when I do that, "its embarrassing" which makes me do it even more.

3. I read the encyclopedia several times a day for entertainment. I wish I was joking but I will seriously look up anything and everything on Answers.com or Wikipedia. I soak up information quickly, long before the Internet was common I was known for containing alot of so called "useless information", my friends consult me several times a day to ask the most random questions.

4. I have no Patience for people who become visibly uncomfortable in "ethnic" environments. I once took a group of American friends to an Arabic restaurant. When the waitress came to take our order one of the guys interrogated her about the contents of the food, asking the Arab waitress, "does this have any weird spices in it?" After realizing he couldn't pronounce anything on the menu and discovering they didnt have french fries, he decided not to eat and ordered a Pepsi. The waitress responded, "a Pepsi? OK, I promise there are no 'weird spices' in the Pepsi either". How embarrassing.

5. I can eat an extraordinary amount of hot sauce, my tolerance for hot food is obscene. There is a restaurant nearby famous for how hot their chicken wings are. They have three levels of hotness: Hot, Suicide and Psycho. The record for Psycho wings was once set at 6, my friend dared me to eat 4, I went in and had 8. These wings were no joke, I almost died as a result! Later on in the day my hands started to burn like they were on fire and my stomach was boiling like hot coals in my gut, like a demon dancing in my stomach! I rolled around on the ground for hours screaming! I still don't know what damage I might have done to my body but I will tell you this... The pain in my stomach was nothing in comparison to the pain in my ass after I expelled the demon!

Lebanon: On The Way Back

2007-01-29T01:33:00.000-06:00

My friends father, who controlled his own militia during the Lebanese civil wars, once told me a story about sectarian violence in Lebanon.

He was standing in line at a bakery at about 7 o'clock at night. He was one of the few grown men there, most of the customers were women and children buying for their families. He himself was a soldier but few others knew that as he stood there with only a pistol hidden beneath his street clothes. Suddenly in the middle of a heavily crowded bakery a mortar went off. When he saw the flash and heard the bang he dove down and after picking himself up he saw that everyone was dead except for himself and two others. Women and children were laying on the ground with their limbs blown off, decapitated, intestines spilled out and he, the only soldier in the bakery, was alive.

If that's what the Lebanese want again they are well on their way.

Please Kill Each Other

2007-01-29T01:19:00.000-06:00

Personal message to Fatah and Hamas.

Please kill each other into mutual extinction and make Palestine a better place!

Monkey See, Monkey Do

2007-01-29T01:02:00.000-06:00

Every time a Lebanese official dies Syria isn't just suspected, they are tried and found guilty before the autopsy can be conducted. Now Egyptian officials are following the same method and who is their new scape goat? Iran of course! Baseless finger pointing has become the international standard of conflict resolution. God save us all!

6 Degrees of Separation

2007-01-26T02:04:00.000-06:00

Lets play a fun little game.

Recently a friend and I were sharing personal stories about the Middle East when we realized that we know a lot of famous and influential people through just one or two of our friends or family. It reminded me of the six degrees of separation theory, the theory that all people in the world know each other through at least 5 people (with yourself being one, 1+5=6).

I decided to write down a list of people I know within as little seperations as possible.

But first here are the rules.

1. Each person in the chain of people must know the following person in the link PERSONALLY. For example: If your Dad's, friends, accountant once gave Brad Pitt directions to McDonalds, it doesnt count. They must personally know each other!

2. You can't use a person on the list to connect to other famous people. For example: If your cousin is friends with Donald Rumsfeld you cant also say you know George Bush just because Donald Rumsfeld knows George Bush. Otherwise you could use the one famous person to say you know each and every single famous person on earth. Got it.

3. Degrees are counted as the link between you and one person followed by the next link and the third person. For Example: Me-1->Friend-2->The Queen of England = 2 Degrees.

Who do I know?

ENTERTAINERS

George Wassouf - 2 degrees

Amr Diab - 2 degrees

Mariam Fares - 2 degrees

Ragheb Alama - 2 degrees

Omar Sharif - 2 degrees

Muhammed Ali - 2 degrees

Arnold Schwarzenegger - 3 degrees

Michael Jordan - 3 degrees

POLITICIANS

Gamal Abdel Nasser - 2 degrees

Bashar al-Assad - 2 degrees

Rafik Hariri and the Hariri family - 2 degrees

Fouad Siniora - 2 degrees

The Saudi Royal family - 2 degrees

George Bush - 3 degrees

Saddam Hussein - 3 degrees

SCUM BAGS

The first Palestinian suicide bomber (April 16th 1993) - 2 degrees

Hassan Nasrallah - 2 degrees

Osama bin Laden - 3 degrees

I know what you're thinking but trust me, even I cant believe this list!

Any blogger who wants to try it themselves go ahead, consider this my official Tag.

My Lover Has Betrayed Me

2007-01-24T00:27:00.000-06:00

My heart is broken and I don't know if I will ever feel the same again, all I do is cry and all I want is for things to be the way they were. Don't you remember everything we've been through, all the fun we had, all the people we met and lives we touched? I love you computer!

My computer is infected and I'm extremely distraught over it. I don't know what's causing it, basically the computer thinks things are plugged into it that aren't, it freezes if you touch the volume button, I want to throw it against the wall! Someone once asked me, "how much money would I have to give you if I said you could never own a computer ever again?" I think I said 5 million dollars but at this point I would give up my computer for a small bag of potato chips and a diet Pepsi.

Me and my computer have a unique relationship. When I'm not home I yearn for her like a sultry affair and when I finally come home we make sweet love! However it has become painfully obvious that my computer has been cheating on me because now she's infected with some terrible virus (or so I suspect). Now when I come home I resent her presence, shes no longer thrilling to touch and caress, its like coming home to a bitter angry wife (who is fat and ugly). Damn you computer for you're treacherous ways!

Come back to me computer, be the beautiful object of my affection, like you were when we met almost a year ago! I cant be angry at you though, its not your fault, you were damned from the moment of your conception.

I wish I fell in love with a Mac.

Kill The Puppy!

2007-01-20T19:26:00.000-06:00

Boredom makes me act up and when you want to act up its best to aim for "low hanging fruit", the ones within arms reach, friends for example. The best way to get reactions from friends is to ask wild hypothetical questions. The following is a display of my mischief on an internet messenger, the screen names have been changed to protect the identities of the victims but the conversation is original. Also all the victims are women.

D.B. Shobrawy: how much would i have to pay you to kill a puppy with your bare hands
PaLiGirl8258: i would never kill a puppy!
D.B. Shobrawy: of course not
D.B. Shobrawy: not even for money though?
PaLiGirl8258: nope
D.B. Shobrawy: how about for 1000 dollars
D.B. Shobrawy: 10,000?
PaLiGirl8258: nope
D.B. Shobrawy: what if i gave you a million dollars to kill a puppy with your bare hands
PaLiGirl8258: no
PaLiGirl8258: i'd take the million
PaLiGirl8258: and pay sum1 else to do it
D.B. Shobrawy: doesnt work like that, you kill and we pay, in that order
PaLiGirl8258: okay i'll pay sum1 to kill with my own money and then collect
D.B. Shobrawy: listen, you have to kill it with your hands and we have to witness it
PaLiGirl8258: then no
PaLiGirl8258: never
D.B. Shobrawy: what if i said, kill this puppy with your bare hands and we will give the Palestinians their own country with no Israeli settlements, full and complete withdrawal
PaLiGirl8258: i'd think u were a yahoudi (jew) and u were lying
D.B. Shobrawy: so foolish! its people like you that will keep the palestinians from having their own country
PaLiGirl8258: well too bad ur theory is stupid like u
PaLiGirl8258: uff
PaLiGirl8258: i'm going to sleep
PaLiGirl8258: bye!

Am I evil? Anyways here's another.

D.B.: how much money would it take for you to kill a puppy with your bare hands
EgyChick3945: i cant do that at all
EgyChick3945: but why r u asking that
D.B.: cause i'm going to pay you, lol
D.B.: how about for 10,000 dollars
EgyChick3945: no
EgyChick3945: i cant do it
EgyChick3945: i cants kill any thing
D.B.: a million dollars?
EgyChick3945: i cant
D.B.: not for a million dollars?
EgyChick3945: for real
D.B.: what if i said, kill this dog or i will kill two dogs
EgyChick3945: well then i have to kill him
EgyChick3945: lol
EgyChick3945: but how, i dont know
D.B.: with your hands!
EgyChick3945: how did u think of this?
D.B.: i saw it on the internet
EgyChick3945: oh
EgyChick3945: i have to go eat i will be back

This next one is my favorite....

D.B.: how much money would it take for you to kill a puppy with your bare hands
Shy’N Ugly: OMG
Shy’N Ugly: eat shit n u die
Shy’N Ugly: u horrible person!
Shy’N Ugly: dont say such things
D.B.: how much?!
D.B.: 10,000?
Shy’N Ugly: 0
D.B.: 100,000?
D.B.: wait youd do it for zero
Shy’N Ugly: i wouldnt do it period
D.B.: final offer, 1 million dollars
Shy’N Ugly: lol
Shy’N Ugly: no
Shy’N Ugly: i couldnt do it
Shy’N Ugly: is 1 mil worth a life
D.B.: yes its worth alot of lives, human ones too!
Shy’N Ugly: lol
D.B.: how about this, what if i said kill the dog or else i will kill two dogs
Shy’N Ugly: lol
Shy’N Ugly: wha makes u think of such crazy things
D.B.: I think I’d do it for 50 cents.
Shy’N Ugly: loooooooooool
D.B.: what if i told you, Kill a puppy with your bare hands and ill give the palestinians their own country with no israeli settlements, complete withdrawal
Shy’N Ugly: done
Shy’N Ugly: ill use a knife too
Shy’N Ugly: if u want
D.B.: no you dumb ass, i just said bare hands, read!
Shy’N Ugly: i know f**k face
Shy’N Ugly: ill use a knife too
Shy’N Ugly: if u want
Shy’N Ugly: lol
D.B.: no thanks

Here is a guys reaction.

D.B.: how much money would it take for you to kill a puppy with your bare hands
Doctor D: how much do you have in your bank account and personal value??
D.B.: non of your business, pick a number
Doctor D: how big is the puppy?
D.B.: a small cute one
Doctor D: maybe 5gs
D.B.: 5000, thats a decent number
Doctor D: ok deal
D.B.: nice, when do you want to do it
Doctor D: Tonight if you have the money ready
D.B.: well i still need to buy the dog
Doctor D: hahaha, why are you asking the quesiton then
D.B.: cause i want to watch someone kill a cute puppy with their bare hands
Doctor D: it is very easy, you take a hold of them and snap the neck
D.B.: oh youve done it before?
Doctor D: no
D.B.: it sounds quick, are you trying to tell me it wouldnt be entertaining?
Doctor D: i did not say that, im sure it would be entertaining for a sicko like you
D.B.: your the sick bastard who is going to kill the puppy, all i'm doing is funding it and watching
Doctor D: u came up with the idea
D.B.: touche

I know what you're thinking, I'm sick right?

Cross posted from MidEast Youth

My Terrorist Hang Out Spot

2007-01-19T00:40:00.000-06:00

There is an Arabic coffee shop here that I go to on a very regular basis, I even joke that its like my own personal social club. Like many Arabic coffee shops they have a big screen TV with Arabic satellite channels on it. At night they play Arabic music videos on channels like "Mazzika" or "Melody Arabia" but during the day when business is slow and almost all the customers are Arab, they play Al-Jazeera or watch Arabic movies.

A couple days ago they were watching a movie on one of the Egyptian channels that was bad mouthing George Bush and saying great things about Saddam Hussein. Some of the people complained out of fear saying, "you shouldn't play this" but they let it play anyways. The next day the place was filled with 30 Chicago police officers searching the entire place with flashlights and dogs. Apparently there was a report of "weapons" in my beloved coffee shop! Do you think there is a connection? I swear the walls are bugged by the Department of Homeland Security!

Sheikh Feiz, "Go Kill Yourself"

2007-01-18T01:40:00.000-06:00

I sometimes wonder if the disgusting and offensive public statements of a few jerks could cause free societies to restrict freedom of speech. I cant say I would object considering the most recent statements by another Australian Muslim cleric.

Sheikh Feiz Mohammed, head of the Global Islamic Youth Centre in Sydney has published a series of DVD's instructing children to sacrifice themselves for God.

"Teach them this: There is nothing more beloved to me than wanting to die as a mujahid. Put in their soft, tender hearts the zeal of jihad and a love of martyrdom,"

"We want to have children and offer them as soldiers defending Islam,"

Hold on, let me pull out my Whisper of Madness letter head. Does anyone have a pen? Oh, got it right here. OK, how should I start?

Dear Sheikh Feiz Mohammed,

Why don't you sacrifice yourself!

Viable methods may include.

-Hanging yourself from a ceiling fan!

-Disemboweling yourself with a samurai sword!

-Tie a rope around a large boulder, tie the other end of the rope to your leg, throw the boulder into a deep lake!

-Take a gallon of gasoline, pour it over your head, put a cigarette in your mouth and LIGHT the cigarette!

-Get a pair of scissors, climb up a telephone pole and try to cut through the largest wire!

-Get a pillow, take it to the train yard, go to sleep on the rail road tracks and hope for the best!

-Take a grenade, stuff it up your ass, then pull the pin!

-Sit inside your car, if you don't have a car, borrow your friends car. Park the car inside a garage, open the windows, close the garage door and start the engine.

-Tie a medium length string to the trigger of a shotgun, pull down your pants, stick the barrel of the gun in your ass, pull on the string!

-Take a toy gun, put it in your pocket. Go to a bank and hold up the bank. When the police arrive walk outside and point the toy gun at the police. The rest will work itself out naturally.

Last but not least

-Put on a suicide bomb jacket, go find Sheikh Taj El-Din Hilaly , give him a BIG hug and press the detonator!

I hope you have found this information useful.

Sincerely, D.B. Shobrawy

Israel And Syria, Friends After All?

2007-01-17T00:08:00.000-06:00

When I saw a headline about Israel and Syria holding peace talks for the last two years my first thought was, "hmmm that's interesting" with wide open eyes and my tongue hanging out of my mouth. Why would news like this interest me so much though? I think its the joy of knowing I was right. I haven't written much about it but for a long time I have assumed Syria's threat to the Middle East to be very little and I have also strongly supported the theory that the U.S. and Israel know fully well that Syria poses little threat.

Even better is that Olmert isnt denying that Syrian officials met with Israeli officials, he's denying he knew about it, which is a weak defense, its kind of like when athletes say they never "knowingly" took steroids.

The Ha'aretz report Tuesday morning said that Israelis and Syrians reached understandings on a future peace deal during clandestine talks held in Europe.
According to the report, the talks focused on a draft peace agreement, based upon Israel's withdrawal from the Golan Heights and a return to 1967 borders.
Reportedly, Syria demanded that the move be made within five years, though Israel said the plan would be gradually implemented over 15 years.
Moreover, Syria would be willing to discontinue support for Hezbollah and Hamas, and cut ties with Iran. The report also stated that Israel would have complete control over the Jordan River and the Sea of Galilee.
Ha'aretz reported that the Syrian representative in the talks was Ibrahim Suleiman, an American citizen who had visited Jerusalem and delivered a message on Syrian interest in an agreement with Israel.

Supposedly Syria is this giant sponsor of terrorism and they are Iran's agent and blah blah blah. However let me ask you this, how willing would you be to give your enemy back land you captured in 1967 for no apparent reason and how evil could he be if you are bad mouthing him in public and negotiating with him in secret? Either way it doesn't really matter because those who don't want to believe its true will accept Olmerts denial and those who don't, wont.

Oh and one more thing. Is Olmert having a rough time in office or what? This is like his 4th or 5th scandal, not to mention that he's being investigated for his role in an illegal sale of an Israeli bank and his Army Chief just resigned over his mishandling of the Lebanon offensive the past summer. ( I actually think he did a good job, I mean he accomplished his goals, didn't he? Lebanon is a pile of ruble now.)

P.S. I found this chart on the internet, I guess it's an "intelegence" report on Syria's "WMD's". Does this look familiar to anyone? Hehehehe

A Story: Nepotism And Religious Persecution In Egypt

2007-01-16T01:53:00.000-06:00

One of the sadder stories about Egypt.

Within Egypt you'll find all the drawbacks of a third world country. Some of those drawbacks include bold faced nepotism, cold hearted religious persecution and mind numbing bureaucratic backwardness. Naturally the following story contains all three.

I have a Christian friend in Egypt whose cousin was a police officer determined to become a detective. We will refer to my friends cousin as "Hany". Hany was lucky enough to know people who could help make his dream come true. The proper arrangements were made and Hany was entered into the training program for detectives among several other candidates with Hany being the only Christian among them.

The tests included a shooting range like you see in the movies called a "hogans alley", basically you walk through a practice field and shoot at moving targets. Hany performed the test perfectly but another officer was not as skilled and an accident occurred. While performing the test in the shooting range this other officer accidentally shot and killed the commanding officer. You're not going to believe me but I swear to God the guy who accidentally shot the commander happened to be a second cousin to Suzanne Mubarak, the Presidents wife.

So what do you do when the Presidents cousin-in law kills a high ranking officer? Falsify the official report and blame someone else of course! Who was that someone else? Hany, the groups only Christian and highest scoring officer. Hany wasn't put in jail though, instead they expelled him from the training camp and fired him from the police department. Hany's family feared revenge from the police so Hany's cousin arranged a visa for him to leave Egypt for Australia.

Problem solved right? No, because of Hany's training as a detective the Egyptian Government refused to let him leave the country for a minimum of 10 years so that he might forget all the "secure information" he had learned as a matter of national security. As if the Australians are dying to get their hands on Egyptian police training techniques. So what is Hany doing now? He fell into a depression, forced his wife and kids out of their home and now spends his days drinking and smoking hash. He never leaves the house and refuses to see any of his family members. Last I checked he was absent at his sisters wedding because he didn't want to face the family. Poor guy, mostly for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Am I Conservative or Liberal?

2007-01-15T14:17:00.000-06:00

A lot of people have tried to put their finger on it, which entertains me because I have both liberal and conservative fans. Well this survey is pretty spot on except I disagree with the "ethics" part I don't see how that could be.

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 60% Conservative, 40% Liberal

Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

What A Night!

2007-01-12T04:33:00.000-06:00

What a night! I'm entertaining 4 friends from New York and the evening turns into a complete mess, I broke up at least 3 fights. One of the fights was about to be between my friend "jaws", a street kid from Brooklyn and my friend "deep", a nice Indian guy I used to work with. Jaws didn't know me and Deep were friends. I swear Jaws pulled his hand back about to pound his face in before I yelled, "Hey, hes with me!" Then out of no where Special K's street trash friend "Superficial Sally" jumps in and tries to get into an argument with me, as if i didn't have enough to deal with.

In addition to all that I concluded finally that my friend Special K is a legitimate piece of trash. With friends like that, who needs enemies? I hope he gets attacked by a Polar Bear. I sometimes wish I lived in communist Russia, if I did I would falsely report Special K to the KGB for treason, after which they would pick him up and he would never be seen again. Seriously that guy deserves to be tortured in a secret dungeon far, far away.

Everyone, If you love me I want you to pray Special K gets mauled by a vicious animal. Can you do that?

20,000 Sacrificial Lambs

2007-01-09T01:12:00.000-06:00

Today is the day G Dubya Bush is set to announce his new Iraq war strategy which is expected to include 20,000 more troops. I have never on this site explained my beliefs concerning the Iraq war so before I explain my views on the new plan, allow me to briefly summarize my feelings on the collective as it is.

Since the start I was never comfortable with the Iraq war. I remember watching the sympathy of the world concerning 9/11 quickly fade when Iraq was accused of having weapons of mass destruction. The way the world turned on the U.S. frightened me but didn't surprise me, not because I expected so little from the world but because I couldn't blame them. Here was the U.S. fresh off the largest loss of lives by a foreign attack in history and our President was on TV threatening a country in no way related to our troubles. Part of me was so bitter towards people who believed it, the people who simply recycled the B.S. rhetoric instead of stopping and thinking. In the last few years not a single statement by those supporting the war has turned out to be true. Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam and Osama were not connected, the Iraqi people are not better off and Iraq is certainly not a safer place. So what now?

I wish there was a simple plan to move forward with, things would be a lot easier and the world would be a better place if troops didn't go to Iraq in the first place but now that they are there they have to make something out of it. The administrations biggest mistake was not properly outlining their goals and expectations. Instead we've been spoon fed these ambiguous terms like, "we will leave when the job is done", "stay the course" and other such inadequate bumper sticker quotes. It's as if every single time the administration was given the opportunity to head in the right direction they dropped the ball. The lack of defined expectations have put America in an embarrassing quagmire, if they leave they'll be admitting defeat to the deafening sound of cheering extremists and their supporters. Every anti-U.S. entity will be claiming victory, as they did in Somalia and Lebanon and elsewhere except that this loss has the potential to be the greatest ideological loss in the history of the U.S. Losing this big would hurt more than a sledge hammer to the nuts or losing a wining lottery ticket.

On the other hand If the troops stay they will be committing themselves to what appears to be an un-winable situation that will only succeed in consuming more young American lives every single day. This may also prove to be the first military conflict in the history of the U.S. that damaged the economy as opposed to helping it. No matter how you slice it, its a lose/lose situation. So NO I don't have a solution for you, at this point there is no single good option. The only choice now is to look at the situation and say, "yes, the Administration fouled up in every possible category". If you desire change keep that in mind when you go to the voting booths.

20,000 more troops.

For what? You want me to believe that 20,000 more in addition to the 110,000 are going to make a difference? Supposedly the new plan will include more house sweeps performed by the additional troops. In case you are not educated in military warfare I'll explain the effects of such a plan with this simple and easy to understand formula.....

house to house sweeps + deeply embedded guerrilla warfare = A LOT OF DEAD TROOPS.

And who has G Dubya made commander of GROUND warfare in Iraq? Adm. William Fallon of the U.S. NAVY!!!!! A Navy commander in a nearly land locked country, talk about a fish out of water. I know a guy who builds model sail boats in his basement who would be better qualified. If you're not pissed yet let me tell you this, Lieutenant General Raymond Odierno has stated he doesn't expect the U.S. to withdraw troops for another 2-3 years! Let the Vietnam comparisons mount!

Revelations In Bits

2007-01-08T00:42:00.000-06:00

* I sometimes feel extremely protective about my blog like its a matter of national security and when I tell someone I have to go because I need to take care of something (i.e. my blog) and they insist on know what it is I have to do, I feel like if I told them it would become a liability. Sometimes I think, if this person leaks my identity I'll have to kill them.

* I get extremely annoyed with people who have a dedication to causes they know nothing about. I see this most often within the pro-Palestine community. One person particular is this Palestinian girl I know who hates Israel like the plague but is unaware of headlines concerning the conflict only days after they occur. Hmmm I think she has a crush on me.

* I absolutely hate Egyptians who claim they have no love for Egypt. They talk about it as if its something to be ashamed of. I wish we could wipe those people out of the gene pool.

* If you have alot of opinions and no information to back it up, don't come near me because I will dissect you like a surgeon.

* Many of the things I love about Egypt are things that have caused millions to leave the country, if it wasn't poor, complicated, unorganized, crowded and polluted it wouldn't be the same place I know and love.

* Recently I've discovered something that has changed my views on many things. The world and everything in it, every opinion, every fact, every political issue and every tragedy is solely a matter of perception. Sometimes I listen to someone argue something so skillfully and so passionately and then I sit back and realize everything they are saying is crap and hardly anyone else knows it. I often step outside of myself and observe the opinions that make up reality, its like being the puppet master.

* As I grow older and wiser God reaffirms to me, everything that has been always will be. Sometimes that's refreshing, sometimes that's depressing.

Two Guys Watching Pretty Woman On A Friday Night

2007-01-06T04:23:00.000-06:00

Things you might here when two guys are alone watching Pretty Woman.

-Dude that's gross, shes a prostitute.

-What is wrong with this guy, doesn't he understand shes a hooker?

-I wouldn't treat a good girl this well let alone a prostitute.

-Has everyone in this movie lost their mind, don't they understand this girl is a prostitute?

-Are us men stupid enough to fall in love with a prostitute?

-If girls really believe this story it would explain alot of things about society.

-Dude, is it gay for two guys to spend a Friday night, in the dark, watching Pretty Woman?

-You guys are watching Pretty Woman? Wow I didnt know you were both Gay. (a friend on the phone)

-You guys are watching pretty woman? Why didn't you tell me, I want to watch it too! (a friend on the phone....who is a guy!)

My Encounter With A Con-Artist

2007-01-05T01:19:00.000-06:00

This one is hot off the presses, in fact I just got home from my encounter with a con-artist.

Me and Special K went to the gym to work out, this particular gym is in a crowded and expensive area of the city so there isn't anywhere to park except for the parking garage attached to the gym. Gym members don't have to pay for parking, all you do is take a ticket and validate it before you leave the gym, as long as you leave before two hours its free.

I pulled up to the garage ticket machine, rolled down my window and took a ticket when suddenly this skinny, blue eyed white girl jumped out and explained to me that she was stuck in the exit and couldn't leave for some complicated unexplainable reason. She offered that if I gave her my ticket so she could leave she would grab me a new ticket when I came back down to go into the gym, I made a quick decision and said, "sure why not". What do you expect I'm a nice guy!

As I drove up the ramp I turned to Special K and said, "how crazy would it be if this nice, innocent looking white girl ripped me off?" No worries though because when I came down she was still there but arguing with the Nigerian garage attendant. He was rambling about God knows what but I couldn't understand him. When he walked away mumbling to himself I turned to the girl and said, "OK how are we going to do this". She handed me 9 dollars to pay for the parking, said thank you and then ran to her car. No problem right? Wrong, I still didn't have a ticket. Before I could catch the girl to ask, she was gone! So I walked up to the garage office to talk to our Nigerian friend...

Yours Truly: Excuse me, how do I get a ticket for the garage?

Nigerian: You gave your ticket to that girl! You have to pay the full price!

Yours Truly: OK no problem, how much is it, 9 dollars?

Nigerian: No its 28 dollars!

Yours Truly: WHAT!!! Are you crazy, I just got here, I haven't been here for even 10 mins!

Nigerian: No ticket, I must charge you the full fee!

Yours Truly: Listen Shaka Zulu, I'm not giving you 28 dollars, you can lick my butt!

I guess he didn't like me calling him Shaka Zulu because he picked up his walkie talkie and called security on me. In less than 20 seconds two security guards with toy badges run up and act like they are going to beat me up.

Yours Truly: Listen guys, I'm not paying 28 dollars, I just got here.

Security Jerk #1: Well where is your ticket?

Yours Truly: I gave it to that girl, I was just trying to help her out, but this guy saw me I've only been here for 1o mins.

Security Jerk #1: I'm sorry but if you don't have a ticket you have to pay full price.

Security Jerk #2: That's what you get for being nice to people.

What an asshole! After arguing for 15 mins I realize there is nothing I can do so I give up, tell the guards, "have a nice day" and walk to the Basketball court where I find Special K and explain the story.

Yours Truly: Can you believe that!? 28 dollars!!!!

Special K: That sucks for you.

Yours Truly: I'm going to come here every single day and I'm going to find that girl and when I do I'm going to get my money back!

Special K: You should hit her with a dumbbell. Once they sign that waiver they cant sue if they get hurt with the equipment.

Yours Truly: What are drunk or something, that's assault you idiot!

Special K: Its your money.

Yours Truly: You're right, maybe I should punch her in the eye and yell, "wheres my money".

I couldn't believe I got hustled by this innocent looking white girl. Suddenly here comes the same girl walking up to me!

Yours Truly: Hey your the girl who ripped me off!

Innocent looking girl: I'm so sorry, I drove all the way home and then I realized you don't have a ticket so I came back to find you.

Yours Truly: Yea they want to charge me 28 dollars!

Innocent looking girl: Oh my God I'm so sorry.

Yours Truly: Yea that Nigerian dude was going nuts, he even called security on me.

Innocent looking girl: I'm so sorry...

Then there was a pause, she was looking at me really funny. I thought maybe I had a booger hanging out of my nose or something.

Innocent looking girl: Wait, where are you from?

Yours Truly: I'm from Egypt, why?

Innocent looking girl: No way. Kilou el nas arab wella shou? (in Arabic: everyone is Arab or what) I'm from Syria.

Yours Truly: Unbelievable, I get ripped off by an innocent looking white girl and she turns out to be an innocent looking Syrian girl.

Finally we go to an ATM machine where she takes out money to even everything out. It turns out she was 2 mins over the 2 hour time limit and didn't want to pay 9 dollars. I hate cheap Arabs. She felt so miserable about having to pay 28 dollars instead that she insisted we go back to the Nigerian guy to explain everything in hopes of only having to pay 9 dollars. We went back to the office, apologized and evened it all out, she paid 9 dollars and he gave me a new ticket. What an idiot this girl is, stressed out and almost an hour later she still ended up paying 9 stinking dollars. Unbelievable, and what are the chances she would be Arab? At least she came back.

On the way home Special K turns to me and says.....

Special K: Are you ever going to help someone again?

Yours Truly: No, never!

Special K: Good, I'm glad you learned your lesson.

The Fallout Of The Saddam Video

2007-01-03T01:40:00.000-06:00

An official investigation has been launched regarding the leaked cell phone video of Saddam's execution which was first featured among Middle East blogs here on Whisper of Madness. The Iraqi Government wants to know who took the video and who leaked it. According to witnesses security measures were taken to prevent cell phones in the execution chamber.

However, chief prosecutor Munqith Faroon -- who also was among the 14 people inside the chamber -- told Danish television that he knew of two senior officials in the chamber who had cell phones, despite security measures in place to prevent such devices from being brought into the room.
"How they took them in, I don't know," Faroon said.
"We were searched one by one before going into the room. They had a box to place phones in," he added.

The investigation has also brought with it many interesting revelations including that U.S. officials urged Iraqi government officials to hold off on the execution for 2 weeks to prevent a perception of Shi'a revenge as opposed to justice for all Iraqis. I would guess George Bush crapped on himself when he read the translation of executioners and onlookers screaming the name of Muqtada al Sadr and shouting, "go to hell" (more or less). I never thought I would concede that Saddam's execution could effectively widen the gap between Sunni's and Shi'as but then again I don't think the widening needs much assistance.

BTW. To all you people who complained about the "U.S." executing Saddam on Eid, you might be happy to know they begged them not to do it. Idiots.

EXCLUSIVE: Full Saddam Execution Video

2006-12-31T02:09:00.000-06:00

Warning!!!

Not a joke!
Not Suitable for viewing at work!
I am offering this solely as a link. Watch at your own risk. If you find the video offensive after you have watched it, don't complain to me, you have been warned. If you are easily shocked or have thin skin PLEASE do not watch this video. If you object to the viewing of Saddam's Execution please do not watch! You have been warned.

Saddam Execution

A Letter To Saddam

2006-12-30T01:07:00.000-06:00

Dear Saddam,

What can I say as you make your journey to your rightful place. No doubt you were judged before your body reached the end of the rope and pulled it tight. If the afterlife holds with it any justice (as I'm sure it does) your first of many punishments in hell will be to hear the tearful tales of your victims.

I must admit that when I watched your trial I saw a broken man with sorrowful eyes but as I unearth the file footage and watch you parading through the streets in your military drab clothing, your stupid beret and your chin held high filled with arrogance and consumed with a cold black heart for your millions of victims, I realize your sorrow filled eyes were filled with sorrow for yourself, a selfish sorrow.

You denied God throughout your life and out of desperation and fear you turned to Him when you sensed the angel of death upon you. You were never truly sorry and for that God has rejected your praises. I only wish you were kept alive long enough to face trial for all you're transgressions, to have justice served in the names of all of those lives you destroyed.

I hate you for what you did to screaming men, women and children, begging for their lives, begging for mercy, begging for your henchmen to end their shame.

Good bye forever!

D.B. Shobrawy

An Egyptian Police Torture Story

2006-12-28T01:38:00.000-06:00

Sometimes you have friends who you assume are incapable of talking about politics, most of the time you're right but I was wrong about my friend "Mahmoud". Mahmoud is your typical Egyptian, loyal, charismatic, funny and kind of a clown which is good enough for me, I don't ask for much else. The ability to meditate on politics is something I truly enjoy and I was recently surprised to find out that "Mahmoud" is not only very politically conscious but without any question the most articulate and skilled debater I have ever met and that's saying alot. I'll pick a debate with anything breathing, you don't even have to be awake just breath and I'll talk to you.

Mahmoud has an interesting background, he was born here in the U.S. but at the age of 3 his family moved back to Egypt because his father desired to raise his children in his home country in order to guarantee his children's "Egyptian-ness". He lived in Egypt all of his life and only returned approximately 4 years ago. Since then he's gone back to Egypt several times to visit growing increasingly involved in Egyptian political causes. A while back he joined the Kefaya movement, a group which I often disagree with but have supported given special circumstances.

Since joining he was involved in a protest against the Egyptian Government outside the Egyptian Consulate organized by Kefaya here in Chicago. While protesting he and the other protesters were photographed by employees of the Consulate. He wasn't very concerned about it but some friends and family were terrified, they had lots of questions like...

"Is it safe for you to return to Egypt?", "Is it safe for our families there?"

The true test came a couple months ago when he returned against the objection of his family and girlfriend. Luckily he passed through customs without incident but honestly the ghost of Ben-Gurion could pass through Egyptian customs unnoticed thanks to Egypt's general lack of organization and information systems. His trip was completely uneventful until a week before his return. Mahmoud was at a bar in Cairo when he was approached by three young guys looking for trouble, they instigated a fist fight and ultimately Mahmoud was arrested. What happens next is frightening.

Many Egyptian Americans feel a sense of security when returning to Egypt because of the power an American passport holds with it. I can give you a dozen examples of how my passport allowed me to escape several forms of Police harassment. Like the time I was headed towards Sharm El Sheikh on a Coach bus. We arrived at a checkpoint where the officer in charge pulled 10-15 men including myself off the bus for "questioning" and told the bus driver to go on without us. I yelled to the bus driver to hold on one second because I would be on the bus shortly, he looked at me curiously but still waited. I turned to the officer and said, "listen I don't have time for this, would you like to see my identification?" When I showed him my American passport his face turned red and embarrassed and he quickly apologized and allowed all the men to return to the bus. I guess those guys owe me.

Mahmoud was not so lucky, the police found Kefaya related material in his wallet and quickly became agitated, by the time they found his American passport they didn't care where he was from, he could have been Prince Charles at that point. He was immediately blind folded, handcuffed and whisked away. When his blind fold was removed he found himself on the roof ledge of the police station handcuffed to another prisoner, the prisoner happened to be suicidal and severely obsessed with leaping off the edge and taking Mahmoud with him.

This is like one of those hypothetical questions your imaginative friend asks you when he's bored, "O.K. you're handcuffed to a suicidal guy on the roof of a building, what do you do?" I'll tell you what Mahmoud did. He started by begging the guy to keep his feet on the ledge, then he tried the therapist approach, telling him life is good, think about your family etc. However sensing the suicidal maniacs nervousness and eagerness to jump he ran out of options and resorted to beating the guy into unconsciousness with his free hand to prevent him from leaping forward. Harsh but brave and clever. When the police returned to find one unconscious and both alive they were so entertained by Mahmouds desperate actions that they released him a couple hours later. Strange, I know.

When he returned he told me the story in a calm and relaxed voice like he was telling me what he ate for breakfast or something. I personally would have contacted Newsweek or Time in search of a pay day.

So just remember, if you're an Egyptian American returning to Egypt, your passport is NOT a get out of jail free card. So be careful!

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

2006-12-27T03:10:00.000-06:00

I hate to beat a dead horse, honestly. The Palestine/Israel conflict has unfortunately become a topic that can be argued till the end of time and somehow not reach an agreement despite its extremely simple circumstances. Those who read my posts concerning the topic already have an opinion and in most cases an unwavering one. But I still believe in dialogue, regardless if you reach the result you desired or not. It brings everyone to a greater understanding no matter what that may be. I can admit I've experienced that in debates that I vowed I'd never concede. Therefore I only offer food for thought.

I have on many occasions criticized both sides of the conflict for their contributions to the problem, fault in the Holy Land is distributed, not evenly, but dually. One of the biggest faults and enablers in the ongoing conflict are Israeli settlements in acknowledged Palestinian territory which are the reason why Gaza and the West Bank are referred to as "Occupied Territories" and should be noted, fits the definition of ethnic cleansing.

A couple years ago the U.S. acknowledged the settlements as a fault and asked Israel to cease the development of new settlements in the Occupied Territories. Israel agreed and conceded with a promise to not build in Gaza and the West Bank. This week Israel has broken that promise with the approval to build a new settlement in the West Bank town of Maskiot. Besides a broken promise this is what I find interesting, the settlements will house Israelis who were asked to leave the Gaza Strip last year as part of Israels agreement to hand over the Strip and remove settlers. Which means these people who plan to move into Maskiot are a bunch of butt holes as far as I'm concerned. These are people whose sole purpose in life are to encroach on Palestinian land and slowly surround and force Palestinians from their homes. What attachment do these people have to the unfairly unacknowledged country of Palestine besides to serve their own nationalistic goals? I agree that the Palestinians are at fault in many cases for agreeing to certain portions of the peace process in order to pacify the hands that feed them and then recanting but Israel is guilty of the same exact transgression.

Let Them Bleed To Death

2006-12-22T00:42:00.000-06:00

How do you kill your enemies and those who kill in your name without pulling a trigger or setting a bomb? Simple, stop donating blood. The Palestinians are making a statement against those who kill 'for their sake' (Fatah and Hamas)...

We have a shortage of blood in the bank now. During Israeli incursions hundreds of people come to donate blood but now, nobody, said Dr Jumaa al-Saqqa, Shifa Hospital publicity director. Why give your blood? For whom? For one to kill the other? I want to just take my white coat off and go home.

That's as good as a vote against the leadership as far as I'm concerned.

A great man once said, "give 'em guns, step back, watch 'em kill each other." Figure out who and I'll give you a dollar.

'Death To The Dictator', Iran Students Shout!

2006-12-21T01:11:00.000-06:00

Its always the students, in any country, its the students who protest the wrongs of the world, the injustice, the pseudo leaders. Some people cite immature idealism, liberal professors even a lack of wisdom or an un-jaded mind. Whatever it is I'm glad to see it taking hold in Iran...

They held portraits of Mr Ahmadinejad upside down to mock him and then set them on fire.
The day before the president visited, the university was in turmoil with students shouting "Death to the dictator".
Iranian television only showed a few seconds of the disturbance. Later Mr Ahmadinejad put a brave face on it saying the protest showed there was freedom of speech in Iran compared to his student days under the Shah.

If this looks like freedom of speech to you let me remind you of this...

According to student activists 181 students have received letters warning them not to get involved in politics, while 47 student publications and 28 student organisations have been closed in the last year.

I'm often challenged by an Iranian friend declaring "Iran is a democracy", "the President has a limited term in office" etc. Unfortunately many Iranian Americans think this way but trust me when I say its all smoke and mirrors.

Don't be confused by a smoke screen of 'democratic elections' and 'freedom of speech'.

Kim Jong-IL Makes Me Laugh!

2006-12-20T00:54:00.000-06:00

N. Korea made a statement saying the U.S. is plotting to harm them which cracks me up for a few reasons.

1. N. Korean schools teach anti-American songs to students including tales of our imminent destruction by the hands of the "great Kim Jong-Il".

2. These guys are building and testing nuclear weapons. Lets make something clear, NOBODY makes nuclear weapons with "defense" in mind, not even the U.S.

3. Most importantly, every time I hear about N. Korea in the news I get an image of Kim Jong-IL and his crazy demands and his crazy parades and forced national displays of dictator worship. If you have read anything about Kim Jong-Il you might be interested to know he is a Hollywood fanatic and loves performing arts.

That's why this cracks me up so much!

D.B. Goes To A Graduation, Causes Trouble, Has Fun.

2006-12-18T00:14:00.000-06:00

A couple weeks ago I received an informal invitation from my friend, "Self Hating Egyptian" to join him and his family at his younger brothers college graduation ceremony. It took me at least two weeks to decide whether or not to go because even though its my friend, who really wants to go to a graduation ceremony, seriously? I can think of 1 billion things I would rather do like sit on a hot grill or be awake during eye surgery. Anyway, I decided to go out of obligation. When I arrived I greeted my friends parents, surveyed the scene and braced myself for what I expected to be 2 and a half hours of excruciating boredom.

The first group to be presented with diplomas were the doctoral graduates. As each name was called the doctoral grads would approach the stage and receive their "hood" as the announcer read off their name and title of their dissertation, this turned out to be the first entertaining moment of the ceremony. It went something like this...

Announcer: "Steven Hernandez, title of dissertation, Condom Use Among Latino Men Who Have Sex With Latino Men"

The two black girls in front of me immediately turned to each other and screamed, "WHAAAT? OH HELL NAW! NASTY!"

I looked over at my friends parents just in time to see their faces turn white and expressionless...Priceless moment!

As hilarious as that was it was only enough to entertain me for a few minutes and then it was back to entertaining myself, luckily for me the announcer was reading off 10 of the most complicated names known to mankind and destroying every one of them.

Announcer: "Baalasurabumanahnon Shah"

Yours Truly in a very loud voice: "Oh my God, that last name was like 17 syllables long!"

Announcer: "Vkrbtn Njknyvn"

Your Truly in a very loud voice: "What country is that kid from? I don't think his name has any vowels in it!"

Announcer: "Vishal Harddeek Patel"

Yours Truly in a very loud voice: "Is that kids name hard dick?!"

At this point everyone within hearing distance is laughing so hard they are crying and the black girl in front of me is choking on her drink, finally she turns around and says, "You is goin' to hell".

10 minutes later, bored again so I decide to make fun of "Self Hating Egyptians" brother...

Yours Truly: "Your brother is an education major right?"

S.H.E: "Yea."

Yours Truly: "Wow that must be the easiest degree ever" (sorry Carmen, just teasing :P )

The black girl in front of me turns around and yells, "excuse me!?"

Yours Truly: "Let me guess you're an education major?"

Black girl: "Damn right!"

I'm not doing a great job of getting on this girls good side but S.H.E. thinks he's going to steal the spotlight, so he looks at me, winks and says...

S.H.E: "Dude you're stupid, there is no easier degree than Communications"

Black Girl: "What!?"

S.H.E: "Double major?"

Black Girl: "Yea"

Strike two! What a dumb ass. Thank God that girl was there, she was hilarious. I just talked to her and her friend "Trina" the rest of the ceremony and cracked jokes, I haven't laughed that hard in forever. By the time the announcer called our friends name we had "Trina", her friend and her family cheering for him along with us.

I'm Joining The Circus

2006-12-16T17:20:00.000-06:00

Coming "home" to my parents house for a couple days is an expierience I regret each and every single time I visit. Its enough to make me join the circus or maybe the Peace Corps.

That's all for now.

Ruby I love you!

2006-12-15T12:49:00.000-06:00

I'm officially obsessed with Ruby. Last night I had a dream about her, a dream with details I don't care to share with you. There are tons of pretty girls in the Middle East, most of whom are in Lebanon but I'm a nationalist, I love my people. Therefore Ruby is especially attractive to me simply because she's Egyptian.

One time I was sitting in an Arabic coffee shop with some acquaintances when I began a conversation with my friend, the sheesha guy, you know the guy who refills your coal, the sheesha guy! Every time I went there he would ask me for the newest downloads on my phone, ringtones, wallpapers, etc. I showed him my newest wallpaper, a very attractive photo of Ruby, you wouldn't believe the following conversation...

Yours Truly: You like that, Ruby, very nice!

Sheesha guy: Yes, yes, I know her father so be careful what you say!

Yours Truly: You know Ruby's father!? You mean he lives here, in Chicago!?

Sheesha guy: Yes but don't ask me anything else, I wont tell you anything!

Unbelievable Ruby's father lives in Chicago. You heard it here first ladies and gentlemen. What's even funnier is that I have probably run into her father a couple times and didn't know it was him. If her father lives here then she MUST visit, unless they aren't on speaking terms. If she does visit then I'm a step closer to turning my dreams into reality.

Ruby, I'll see you soon my love!!!

When In Doubt Blame Syria

2006-12-14T00:42:00.000-06:00

I have never been a conspiracy theorist but I'll concede that circumstances leading up to specific political occurrences are never as simple as we'd like them to be and they're rarely as they're depicted in news or official government reports.

It's not that hard to imagine, think of the worlds political theatre like a giant soccer stadium. We the people are the less powerful and less influential and as a result we are seated in the cheap seats, high up where we cant see too well. Therefore what might look like a clean play to us might really be a foul. You follow me?

An example of things not being what they seem are the currently evolving circumstances in Lebanon and the year or two leading up to them. If you have kept an eye on the news you may have noticed Syria/Iran and vice verse have been the fall guys for any trouble surrounding Lebanon. I have been increasingly skeptical however simply because Syria's name has come up effortlessly without any checks and balances system. It has become easier to blame Syria then blaming people in the Lebanese government who have as much or more to gain by influencing a change in the Lebanese constitution. Many unfounded stories suggesting Syria's involvement were passed on anti-Syria forums and were not picked up by the MM for obvious reasons. Like the report that said Syrian officials called to ask about Pierre Gemayels assassination an hour before it happened.

Another curious event yet to be picked up by the MM is this, a letter supposedly from Saad Hariri to Hezbollah during the Lebanon-Israel conflict this past summer.

MP Saad Hariri, had asked Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah to disarm the group in exchange for an end to Israel's summer offensive.

Odd, no?

I fully expect readers to deny the possibility solely because Hezbollah is a part of the equation, "its a forgery, a lie" etc. But I prefer to ask questions instead of being spoon fed opinions masked as facts.

Something to keep in mind.

Lebanon's constitution invites assassinations and forced resignations by design. Lebanon's constitution dictates that in the event of 3 or more Parliament members leaving their post by resignation or assassination, the constitution must be reformed. So far with assassinations and resignations combined we have lost 7 members. That is why protesters are demanding Fouad Siniora should step down.

The News Bomb!

2006-12-13T01:35:00.000-06:00

A collection of stories catching my eye including my wise ass opinion.

It's been a while since I've used this feature but I thought I would revive it for you're reading pleasure.

I hate celebrities and celebrity worship. I think its shallow and sad to see people pucker their lips up to famous peoples butts. Particularly because most celebrities are empty, soulless, nonsensical and shallow people who are so out of touch with reality that its unlikely they know how to do laundry, look at Tom Cruise! That's why when I hear of celebrities traveling all over the globe attempting to solve the worlds problems with their celebrity influence alone...I want to throw up! This time is a little different though. George Clooney has arrived in Egypt with Don Cheadle (a very talented actor) to meet Egypt's Foreign Minister in hopes of influencing the Egyptian government to pressure Sudan over Darfur. Normally I would say, "go back to Hollywood you liberal fruit cake" but the genocide in Darfur is one of the most important and ignored issues in the world. Good luck George!

Today a friend of mine ran up to me nearly stuttering with excitement, I thought he discovered the cure for baldness or something but no. Instead he was astonished to learn about Israel's possession of nuclear weapons. If you're surprised to learn Israel has nuclear weapons then you might suffer from mental retardation and a combination of several undiscovered mental illnesses, let me explain. Ehud Olmert mistakenly acknowledged Israel's possession of nuclear weapons saying...

"Iran openly, explicitly and publicly threatens to wipe Israel off the map. Can you say that this is the same level, when they are aspiring to have nuclear weapons, as France, America, Russia and Israel?" he asked.

If that's not bad enough Israel's Parliament members botched their opportunity to play damage control and acknowledged that the admission was a violation of a nearly 50 year old Israeli policy, meaning Israel has held nuclear weapons since then...

Right-wing opposition Likud MP Yuval Steinitz called on Olmert to step down after having made "an irresponsible slip which puts into question a policy that dates back almost half a century."

I'm shocked because I didn't know it was a secret. The assumption that Israel has nuclear weapons has been so long standing that it transformed from an assumption into fact many years ago. I've actually never been involved in a discussion that listed Israels nuclear capabilities as anything but fact.

The Devil has a special place in hell reserved just for Kanye West. I hate Kanye West and his ignorant statements and I'm glad to report he's being sued by the worlds greatest Dare Devil, Evil Knievel for his use of Knievels likeness in his video "Touch the Sky"...

"That video that Kanye West put out is the most worthless piece of crap I've ever seen in my life, and he uses my image to catapult himself on the public," the 68-year-old daredevil said Tuesday.

Ok Evil K, don't get your diapers in a bunch, its not that bad.

The following picture might interest you.

Is that Ahmadinejad making peace with the Jews? Not quite. Actually this is at the Holocaust conference in Tehran and those Rabbis are from a Jewish anti-Zionist group who believe the existence of Israel is against the teachings of God listed in the Torah. You can find the rest here.

Iran Students: "Death To Dictator!"

2006-12-12T00:22:00.000-06:00

The Iranian people chant..."Death to Dictator!". A refreshing display of anti-Ahmadinejad protests yesterday in Tehran during the President's speech.

The disturbances began when a group of students started chanting during the speech. One held up a poster that read: "Fascist president, the Polytechnic is not a place for you."

They held an Ahmadinejad picture up and set it alight, then a student set off a firecracker.

Ahmadinejad supporters in the audience began to chant in response, silencing the protesters. The president then continued his speech.

No arrests were reported.

Hmm, does that mean freedom of speech lives in Iran? I doubt it. The youth are the future of Iran but are they enough to change the face of the regime?

A Poll

To whom is Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a greater threat?

A) The American people.
B) The Israeli people.
C) The Iranian people.
or
D) The Arab people neighboring Iran.

Palestinian Animals Kill Children!

2006-12-11T01:09:00.000-06:00

Gunmen outside a school in Gaza City have shot dead the three children of a Palestinian intelligence chief linked to the Fatah party.
One adult was also killed in the attack, which took place in a street crowded with children.
The children's father was named as Baha Balousheh, said to have led a crackdown on the Hamas movement 10 years ago. - BBC

It never fails to shock me how a group of people struggling to find world wide condemnation for nearly 60 years of occupation and mistreatment can abuse each other so harshly. Not even the Mafia is despicable enough to kill children.

I'm not a vengeful man but I hope something truly terrible happens to the people involved in ordering and carrying out an act as terrible as this.

Indians Have Small Penises

2006-12-09T02:47:00.000-06:00

I feel embarrassed for the entire Indian race because scientists have finally verified a popular and hilarious stereotype...Indians have small penises.

A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men. The conclusion of all this scientific endeavour is that about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.

I admit my embarrassment for the Indian population quickly turned to laughter while reading this article and I will take great pleasure in sending this article to every Indian friend I have ever had.

P.S. I would bet Gandhi had a terribly small wiener.

Now that we got that out of the way, please continue to the next post!

Trouble Continues To Brew

2006-12-09T02:04:00.000-06:00

I want you all to remember articles like this when Lebanon finally implodes in on itself.

Lebanon's Prime Minister Fouad Siniora is accusing Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasarallah of plotting a coup against the Government and I sincerely believe he is right.

He [Hassan Nasrallah] is trying to stage a coup. Or at least he's threatening to stage a coup. And he has already decided the outcome. - Fouad Siniora

I wish I could say the problem could be solved by fighting and eliminating Hezbollah however Hezbollah is a deeply rooted guerrilla fighting force and the Lebanese army are a bunch of farmers with pitch forks. To make things more complicated the majority of the Lebanese population support Hezbollah, meaning a coup might be welcomed and encouraged. So what do you do? I can't answer that, I can just pray things get better before they get worse.

Dialogue At Last

2006-12-08T02:04:00.000-06:00

Two posts ago a debate came up regarding dialogue, some people feel dialogue is a useless exercise regarding U.S. foreign policy (Rhino you bastard *wink*) and I understand their lack of faith, I really do. However I am happy to say that President George W. Bush is seriously considering it following a meeting with Tony Blair.

After talks with his top Iraq war ally President Bush on Thursday indicated that Iran and Syria might be included in regional talks about Iraq, if they meet certain conditions.
Speaking a day after a bipartisan report called on the White House to change course in its war strategy, Bush acknowledged during a news conference with British Prime Minister Tony Blair that, "It's bad in Iraq."

Dialogue is not a cure all, its not a magic bullet, its only an option that we have failed to use and by using it we are only checking it off our list. If dialogue doesn't work I'll feel comfortable saying, "we tried" but if it does work we'll truly have something to be proud of, dialogue is a lot cheaper then bombs and dead soldiers anyway. So lets see where this takes us.

What Is There To Tell You?

2006-12-07T03:01:00.000-06:00

I'm going to start this post by saying I dont know what to write about. It's not like I have writers block, its just that I'm lacking material. I couldn't really take portions of my day and write a comical commentary, what is there to tell you?

There is my job interview in which the interviewer recognized my name is being Arabic and revealed to me that he is Iraqi...SCORE! That job is mine. There is my friend "Johnny 2 Tone" who came in from New York today, exciting for me but nothing you would want to hear about. There is the Egyptian guy I met in line at Subway, he was fresh off the boat and was so excited to meet another Egyptian that he immediately asked for my phone number. There is the night club that 2 Tone and Special K dragged me to that was filled with super models and balding middle aged men with too much money. I sat there with a glass of wine and laughed to myself as these men in mid-life crisis poured themselves over women who were obviously there to milk their pocket book. There's Special K's female friend who got drunk and told me she hates me because I bad mouth her to Special K, I was confused and irritated by her accusation to say the least. There's my friend Doctor D who came over depressed because one of his patients died today, he sat with the patient and his family and prayed with them just before he died. Those were the "highlights" of my day.

When you're a blogger you tend to look at every situation/experience and think, "can I write about this?" Usually I begin to compose my article in my head as the events unfold but nothing today stuck out as eccentric.

To add to my irritation I came home and discovered one of the slowest news days in a long time. This is the disgusting part about political blogging, sometimes you view the terrible events going on in the world as a product. Part of me wishes something horrible and news worthy was going on somewhere, maybe I should feel guilty about that. Maybe I should feel guilty that people are dying in Iraq but its not "interesting" enough for me to write about. I don't know, maybe I should just go to sleep, me and 2 Tone have a lot to do tomorrow. Until then.

Ciao!

Goodbye Johnny!

2006-12-05T00:06:00.000-06:00

John Bolton has resigned and I couldn't be happier. The agent of anti-diplomacy is gone.

Dear Mr. Bolton

Please return to Maryland and eat dog poo.

Sincerely

D.B. Shobrawy

Everyone say it loud, say it proud.

What do we want?

DIALOGUE!

When do we want it?

NOW!

WE WANT DIALOGUE. WE WANT DIALOGUE.

Hell Hath No Fury...

2006-12-05T00:05:00.000-06:00

Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn!

Veiled Somali women in the capital, Mogadishu, take part in a protest against a US-proposed draft UN resolution to ease an arms embargo and deploy peacekeepers.

P.S. Click on the picture and look how these ladies hold the guns. I would be willing to bet its the first time they've held one.

Cover Your Head Or Else!

2006-12-04T00:08:00.000-06:00

Here's something that will make you sick....

It seems as though a new extremist group is founded every day in Palestine, in fact I think they might have more extremist groups than falafel salesmen. The newest group to terrorize the public and claim responsibility is an organization called "The Just Swords of Islam". The group is threatening to target women who do not wear the hijab head scarf.

The warning was directed primarily against female students at universities and colleges who do not cover their heads in line with Islamic tradition.
The group said its followers threw acid at the face of a young woman who was dressed "immodestly" in the center of Gaza City last week. They also destroyed a car belonging to a young man who was playing his radio tape too loudly.

Who's the sick bastard that would throw acid in the face of an innocent woman? That's not all this group is involved in...

According to the group, its members used rocket-propelled grenades to attack 12 Internet cafes and a number of music shops in different parts of the Gaza Strip.
It said the places were targeted because they were "distracting an entire generation of Palestinians from their duty to worship and jihad, so that they could serve their Zionist masters and the Crusaders."

I sometimes I wish I had the powers of Superman, if I did I would fly across the globe and kill those evil doers!

In addition to terrorizing Muslim women the threat has a potential to make Christian women a constant target of harassment. Recently Egypt's Culture Minister spoke out against the hijab being mandatory saying it would aid in Christian women being "marked" and would result in furthering the divide between Muslims and Christians.

Planet Of The Arabs

2006-12-02T10:53:00.000-06:00

There was a hilarious video on Sandmonkey concerning Jews and how they are portrayed in Syrian Soap Operas. I'm sure tons of people were horrified and disgusted but I prefer to laugh...loudly. That video reminded me of this video instantly. I watch it over and over again, it cracks me up! I hope you enjoy it too. Let me know if you do (or don't).

God Please Destroy My Room Mate!

2006-11-30T15:02:00.000-06:00

I am pissed...beyond pissed and I want to tell you about it.

I have a room mate, my room mate doubles as one of my "best friends". You may remember his name appearing in some stories as "Special K".

I have an announcement to make about Special K.... I hate him and I hope he burns in the eternal fires of hell! Let me tell you why.

When Special K and I first moved in we were notified that we needed to call the gas company and have service switched over from the previous resident over to us. I asked Special K to call the gas company and arrange for service but he failed to take care of that in the first week. I approached Special K and asked...

Yours Truly: did you call the gas company?

Special K: no, I thought you were taking care of that.

Yours Truly: well I have the cable and internet in my name so I would like you to split the responsibility and put the gas in your name.

Special K: OK, fine (in an angry tone)

Then last night I come home and the stove isn't working and immediately following the stove the heater stops working. You should have seen the look on my face! I slowly turn my attention towards Special K...

Yours Truly: did you call the gas company last week like I asked you to?

Special K: no not yet.

Yours Truly: you must be the dumbest man alive! Call tomorrow morning!!

Then I get a phone call the next morning from Special K explaining that the gas company wont be able to send out a technician to turn the gas on for another 6 days. Apparently if he called before they turned it off it would have been an instant switch but because the gas was actually turned off it will require a technician to set all the pilot lights.

P.S. Its going to snow tonight and the high temperature is 17 degrees Fahrenheit.

I would like to take this moment and pray to God.

Dear God

I ask that you take Special K and bestow upon him the most severe pain possible on a human being. Have no mercy on him God for he is a fool beyond the limits of foolishness. Set fire to his balls and impale his anus with a hot iron spike, cast his worthless soul to the depth of hell and punish him time and time again until the end of eternity. Amen

Iran To The Rescue!

2006-11-29T00:30:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I wonder how troublesome Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad would be without the "spiritual" backing of the Ayatollah, Ali Khamenei. Yesterday Khamenei remarked to the Iraqi president..

"The first step to resolve the insecurity in Iraq is the withdrawal of the occupiers and handing over the security issues to the Iraqi government, which is backed by the people," state television quoted Khamenei as telling Talabani in their meeting.
"Some U.S. agents in the region are the middle men for implementing American policies and creating an insecure Iraq ...
"Supporting terrorist groups in Iraq and igniting insecurity ... will be very dangerous for America's agents and also the region,"

Riiiiight, as if 24 years of Saddam Hussein fueled Sunni/Shi'a hatred had nothing to do with it. I would be extremely interested to see how Iraqi security forces would fare against their fellow countrymen. (by the way, I have abandoned the concept that those fighting each other and those fighting the U.S. troops are "insurgents" from other countries) I would also be interested to know how many of those security members are invested in sectarian fighting and support themselves.

"U.S. agents in the region"? Ahhh of course...ISRAEL! If only we had previously known the Mossad was at work in Iraq giving Sunnis and Shi'as more reasons to hate each other. I'm willing to criticize Israel when necessary but a claim like that is simply intellectual laziness. Whatever, I guess every country needs an arch rival or maybe two.

The Pope Live On Pay-Per View

2006-11-28T00:20:00.000-06:00

Last month Muslim leaders accepted Benedict XVI's invitation for a dialogue between the two faiths but no one reported on it. I agree with George Weigel that the world media would rather report on "politics, especially the politics of a potential clash of civilizations" instead of a "response of 38 Muslim leaders" in what was titled an"Open Letter to Pope Benedict XVI".

The pope arrives in Turkey today and there may not be a better time than the present to acknowledge a planned dialogue between the Pope and Islamic leaders, especially considering the growing fury and threat of violence in Turkey over the Popes visit. For God's sake they are abandoning the Pope-mobile over security concerns and have replaced it with a high-tech armoured vehicle that uses scrambling frequencies to disrupt electronic guided attacks. James Bond is drooling!

So what about the Islamic/Christian Dialogue?

Personally I think the 'dialogue' should be played on Pay-Per View and hosted at the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino. It would be a COLOSSAL event of epic proportions, I imagine it like this...

The Interview- An interview via satellite hosted on ESPN between the participants, during which the Pope and his opponents would yell at each other from their satellite TV screens while the host of the show fruitlessly attempts to mediate.

The Press Conference-Hosted by the debate promoter, none other than Don King himself. As usual Don King would do all the talking while the combatants sit at opposite ends of the table and stare into the cameras avoiding eye contact.

The Weigh In- 3 days before the fight the Pontiff and His worthy adversaries will meet in a televised weigh in wherein the men strip down to their undies, step on the scale and flex their muscles as the official debate Doctor reads off the mens weight. I predict the Pope to be at an even 218 lbs.

The Fight- No undercard bouts for this match, just the main event. As for the results, I wont make any predictions, you'll just have to watch it live on Pay-Per View but maybe you have a prediction for me.

Conversation With Dad

2006-11-27T00:04:00.000-06:00

Last week for Thanksgiving I went home to my parents house for the first time in a couple months. Going home to my parents house totally sucks ass, I get severely bored plus keeping my father in a positive, not complaining, not yelling and not depressing mood is impossible. Trying to keep him in a good mood so he doesn't terrorize my family and I has been my chief duty for most of my life and as the years roll by the job hasn't gotten any easier. There is a formula to approaching the situation and it goes as follows...

1. Avoid eye contact.
2. Walk away slowly and calmly.
3. In the event of an attack drop into the fetal position.

Wait that's for bear attacks. Hmmm well whatever.

On Thanksgiving I walked into the house, gave my mother a hug and said hello to my father who was sitting on the computer inhaling as much news and politics as he could (I wonder where I get it from). If I'm right about his patterns he was in the same spot doing the same thing since 6 that morning. He didn't acknowledge my hello but that's not unusual, when my father is reading he is virtually dead to the world. When I was a kid me and my friend had a game we would play, the object was to see how obnoxious and loud we could be (while he is reading) in the same room before he would take notice. I could probably pee on my dads head while he reads without incident.

After saying hello I sat down in the adjacent kitchen to keep my Mom company while she cooked which reminds me of another topic, my Moms cooking! Some of the food made me salivate and some of the food made me gag but whatever, I will get to that on another post.

When enough time had passed I decided to break the ice with my Dad...

Yours Truly: Hey Dad did you hear about the police torture videos in Egypt? (remember I hadn't seen my family in months so this was a fresh topic between the two of us)

My Dad: The police torture people in Egypt, what about it, you didn't know the police torture people in Egypt?

Yours Truly: Yea but now there are videos of it on the internet.

My Dad: Videos, by who? The BBC were watching with a camera crew or something? (very sarcastic tone)

Yours Truly: No obviously not, the police were video taping it for their own entertainment.

My Dad: Yebni (my son) its a video on the internet, anyone can take a video of whatever and say it was whoever, don't bother me with stupid stuff.

Yours Truly: What are you talking about, you acknowledge there is torture in Egypt, is it inconceivable that someone would video tape it? Plus who would subject themself to clearly painful torture like having a stick shoved up their ass just so some Egyptians in Chicago can talk about it?

My Dad: Listen, I don't care about Egypt anymore, the country is shit now, all I care about is our family there and that's it so just shut up with this crap.

So much for keeping him calm and positive.

Question Time.

2006-11-22T09:58:00.000-06:00

A stolen idea from Carmen

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Whom would you blow up?
I hate so many people, I can't begin to imagine who I would bless with an explosion. My hit list is a constantly changing document but currently heading the list is a particularly obnoxious heifer from the western U.S. who I want to strangle within an inch of her life and maybe detonate too! (too violent?)

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
There is a rapper named Tony Yayo, he is easily the least talented of all the worlds musicians.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Tony Yayo

4. What is your favorite cheese?
Fresh mozzarella. Most people outside of the eastern U.S. have no idea what that is but its not just your usual mozzarella, its actually a soft water based goat cheese mozzarella that is so delicious the only words that could describe it are *scrum-diddly-umptous*

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
A chicken cutlet sandwich with roasted red peppers, fresh mozzarella and Italian dressing on french bread.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice? Jeez, I don't know. Probably Eva Mendez

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
Why are these questions so hard? There are several women that come to mind but the problem is that the woman of my dreams doesn't exist. Where do I find the beauty of Haifa with the buttocks of Serena Williams and the grace and class of some woman God has yet to create. The closest thing would have to be a tie between two Arabic singers Marwa and Melissa. watch the videos, you'll thank me!

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Wastefully certainly. I would probably buy myself and some friends dinner like an idiot.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Egypt. Why Egypt? Where else am I going to get room and board for free? Plus I need to make a visit back there anyway.

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
First I would ask myself, "who is the poor American tourist who lost his $100 bill?" then I pick it up, exchange it for 600 Egyptian Pounds spend half of it on crap, take the other half and fly to Dubai for a couple days.

11. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Taxes!! I would set up the tax laws that would make me (the King) filthy rich.

12. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?
My show would be called "Rump Shaker" it would be an HOUR long featuring women of my choice shaking their butts in the camera. (too much butt fantasy?)

13. What is your favorite curse word?
In Arabic, "Rooh Shookh ala Neffsek" in other words "Go poop on yourself"

14. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Ask for their names and see if we're related.

15. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the item?
Certainly my laptop, my life would be on pause without it.

16. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Take a nap on my couch or eat a chicken cutlet sandwich.

17. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
I've always wanted to read minds but can you imagine how disturbing that would be. Think about all the crazy crap that passes through your mind. You know the stuff you say just because no one can hear it. I think you would kill yourself after 2 days. I think I will choose the power to instantly transport myself anywhere at any time.

18. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
This might sound depressing but there is not one single half hour in my life I would relive again. Nothing in my mind stands out as 'worth it'.

19. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool stuff... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?
Why cant I go to my private Island? Whatever, if I was rich I would go to Brazil, if I was poor I would go to France.

20. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, ... I can FLOAT!"?
Float? Like hover? I guess I would "float" over to my friend Easy Money's place and tell him I can "float". What a stupid question! Seriously "float"?

21. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
I have a deep hate for celebrities and celebrity worship! However I would bring back Abdel Halim Hafez because it would make everyone happy and maybe even inspire peace in the Middle East. (yea right)

22. The Gates of Hell have opened, and Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
My Uncle, he was sick for at least 10 years before he died and I know my mother misses him. I miss him too. I don't have a deep attachment to the dead though, I fairly easily accept death as part of life.

23. What's your theme song?
Sir Mix-a-Lot - Baby got Back

Let's Fight!

2006-11-21T01:55:00.000-06:00

Egypt is a land of softly whispered tension between several different groups waiting to spontaneously combust. Lets meet the combatants...

The Young Moderates- A group between the ages of 16 and 35 who desire a moderate, sectarian democracy elected by the people. Probably the smallest group in Egypt found primarily on blogs. Enemy- The Islamic Extremists

The Islamic Extremists- Consisting of all ages and social backgrounds often oppressed by unemployment. Fueled not by their faith but by their hate for America and Israel and all of their allies whether actual or assumed (Egypt's Christians). Their existence is largely thanks to the popularity of the Muslim Brotherhood, (a group that grew out of protest against British Occupation) Wahabism imported from Saudi Arabia, poverty and boredom. Enemy- Everyone

The Average Joe's- Tired, oppressed and angry and indoctrinated into extremist thinking by the thousands daily. Enemy- Everyone

The Christians- Falsely recorded by the Egyptian government as 6% of the population (closer to 12%). A constant target of animosity often spoken negatively about in social circles and sometimes targeted in public. Enemy- The Islamic extremists

What do they all have in common? They all hate Mubarak. Why?

The Young Moderates- Because he silences the opposition by any means necessary, divides foreign aid among his business partners and his generals and insists on ruling until his death despite claiming to be democratically elected.

The Islamic Extremists- Because he maintains peace with Israel, is an ally to the U.S. doesn't slaughter Christians and does not enforce Islamic law.

The Average Joe's- For all the reasons listed above

The Christians- Because he does a crappy job of protecting them from violence and hatred. Also silencing them from speaking out about it.

So what will happen when Hosni Mubarak dies and his son Gamal assumes power? Well this might help...

Political and religious enemies + Government instability = CIVIL WAR

Does this seem familiar to anyone?

Busy Bee!

2006-11-20T01:52:00.000-06:00

I'm afraid there is no post today, I have been swamped with tasks and duties both personal and otherwise. I will however compensate for the off day tomorrow. Until then enjoy this, I cant get enough!

Abuse of Power?

2006-11-17T02:08:00.000-06:00

Iranian student tasered and arrested at UCLA. Watch the video, read the story... Is this an abuse of power and excessive force? You tell me.

Watch the video

Read the story
Here

Graphic Web Designers Needed!

2006-11-16T18:20:00.000-06:00

HELP WANTED!

I need someone who can provide graphic web design , I have searched internally throughout the Arab blogsphere and found nothing but blank stares so now I am looking outward for help. If you are a graphic designer and would like a sweet project then please contact me!

An Exciting Announcement pt. 2

2006-11-16T00:03:00.000-06:00

I am very proud to announce yet another step in my personal development as a blogger and as a writer. Today I was invited to contribute in a group blog called MidEast Youth, a site encouraging dialogue between people all over the Middle East in an effort to fight ignorance and extremist ideology. I believe in the project and I am so proud to write for them. The site includes bloggers from Syria, Bahrain, Israel, Lebanon, Algeria, Nigeria, Pakistan, Palestine, Iran, Jordan, Sudan and of course myself representing Egypt. Damn right I rep. the E.G.Y.P.T. (wow that makes me proud) So please stop by and support the cause, learn something and join the fight!

Egyptian Police Arrest Demonstrators!

2006-11-15T00:00:00.000-06:00

50 protesters were detained and 8 arrested last night by Egyptian police as they protested last months assault of women outside of the Metro Cinema in Cairo.

About 50 demonstrators, mostly women, protested in downtown Cairo against an alleged assault last month when youths attacked women strolling along a busy shopping street, groping them and tearing their clothes as police looked on.
The demonstrators wanted to protest outside the Metro Cinema, the site of last month's alleged assault. But hundreds of riot police and plainclothes security agents surrounded the protesters and pushed and shoved them into a nearby coffee shop and closed the doors.

This round up by the Egyptian police marks a culmination of several issues in Egypt which include, the government and police turning a blind eye to increasing sexual harassment of women and the government and police trying to silence those who speak out about Egypt's social problems.

Mubarak is under the gun right now, he is aware of the increasing opposition to his indefinite rule, he fears a struggle for power surrounding his sons takeover and most paramount he fears unwanted negative attention being brought to Egypt. Negative attention can very easily cause a drop in tourism dollars and negative attention could cause the U.S. to apply pressure on him, after all Egypt is the beneficiary of approximately 1 billion U.S. dollars annually and it wouldn't take much for a brand new congress to say, "I think its time we pulled your funds".

There's a lot at stake here and who do the government run newspapers blame for all this negative attention? People like me, Egyptian bloggers. Also the Arabist has been blocked by the Egyptian government so don't expect bloggers like Abdul Kareem to be freed any time soon. Let the oppression continue!

Pictures of the arrests Here and here

What's Happening To Me?

2006-11-14T00:11:00.000-06:00

I have always hated sushi, it has never been my thing. Often times I have been invited out with friends to go to some nice sushi place and I always decline saying, "I would rather eat out of a dumpster". Sometimes I go anyways in the interest of social interaction, generally I'm that guy at the sushi place trying to order french fries, I know you've seen me. Also I'm one of those people with staunch opinions which rarely bend or fold so when I tell someone I hate sushi I always reiterate my distaste whenever the topic arises...

Yours Truly: I couldn't help over hearing you guys talking about sushi...how do you eat that crap?

Recently I was at my friend "Easy Money's" house watching a basketball game when his brother "Socrates" arrived with $30 worth of sushi from one of Chicago's "best" sushi restaurants. Naturally I had to say something...

Yours Truly: Eww Sushi?

Socrates: I love it, I could eat it everyday.

Yours Truly: How much did that cost you?

Socrates: 30 bucks.

Yours Truly: Right and wouldn't you rather spend 30 bucks on a fine steak, appetizer and drink instead of cold slimy raw fish.

Socrates: No way I love this!

Yours Truly: 30 bucks for raw fish and white rice, as we speak some Japanese businessmen are laughing at you while they count their money!

Socrates: Here why don't you try some?

Yours Truly: I'll try it just to remind myself how gross it is.

So I popped what looked like rice, seaweed and a spider on top into my mouth. I can't say I was completely repelled by it but not satisfied by it either. It tasted just as I had remembered, cold, slimy, bland and unsatisfying.

Fast forward two weeks later. I am sitting talking to some friends trying to figure out what to eat for lunch, I have a desire for something that's not greasy or overly filling so I walk to the cafeteria and what strikes my eye? Sushi! I looked at it like it was a long lost enemy, like two cowboys waiting to draw our pistols. A tray of 9 pieces, "looks healthy". I felt bitter when I picked it up, I grabbed a bag of chips and a bottle of water to help equalize the guilt. I payed and returned to my friends. As I sat there looking at my "meal" (the above picture) I found myself lost and confused, staring at the sushi. Then my friend "Adrian" looked at me and said...

Adrian: Whats wrong aren't you going to eat that?

Yours Truly: I'm not sure, I feel guilty like I am betraying myself. I have hated sushi for so long, If I eat this does that make me a hypocrite?

Adrian: Hmm that's tough.

Yours Truly: You're supposed to say "NO" and make me feel better!

Adrian: Just eat it!

So I ate the damn sushi, piece by piece, doused in soy sauce and topped with wasabi. I put waaaaaaaay to much wasabi, after each bite I grabbed my nose and screamed "WASAAAAABIIIII"!!!!!!! What's happening to me, I'm eating sushi like some damn hippie and kind of enjoying it. Is this the end of the world as we know it? Either way I know some people who will be glad to hear the news just so they can rub it in my face!

Israel to Iran: "Iran Must Start To Fear"

2006-11-13T00:04:00.000-06:00

Oh man, should I go ahead and put my popcorn in the microwave? I think the show is about to begin because Ehud Olmert is pissed and he's openly threatening Iran,

"President (Mahmoud) Ahmadinejad is a man who is ready to commit crimes against humanity, and he has to be stopped."

"But I don't believe that Iran will accept such compromise unless they have good reason to fear the consequences of not reaching a compromise."In other words, Iran must start to fear."

Wow them's fightin words and Iran's foreign ministry spokesman has a response,

"Israel does not have the means and the capability to dare threaten Iran... if it commits such a stupidity the Islamic republic and its defenders will give a destructive response within a second," Hosseini said Sunday.

Either that's a Hezbollah style threat* or an admission of having the weapons they've denied having.

Let me spell this out for everyone. Olmert made these statements on the eve of a five day summit in the U.S. where he will of course meet with George W. He wants us to give Iran something to "fear" and I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we actually put troops on the ground. You don't need me to tell you that's completely out of the question, we have our own problems to deal with and its about time the U.S. starts covering its own ass. My recommendation to Olmert...SAVE YOUR OWN ASS! Stop calling on your big brother to resolve your fights.

Seriously what a colossal coward Olmert is, he threatens Iran suggesting he will give them something to fear and then runs to the U.S. for protection. Could someone remind me why we protect Israel again, are they sitting on top of some huge oil reserve? I thought we were capitalists, could someone please tell me what's in it for us? Anyways I have to go, my popcorn is ready, enjoy the show!

*Hezbollah style threat- when you threaten to use weapons you don't have, subsequently getting your ass kicked.

source:Iran to reply 'destructively' to any Israeli attack

I Want To Eat Your Baby!

2006-11-11T20:54:00.000-06:00

That's not a doll or a drawing thats a real live fat ass Chinease baby! This baby is so fat and juicy I would like to put it in the oven and eat it for Thanksgiving!

When Will You Take Notice?

2006-11-09T12:45:00.000-06:00

This album is powered by
BubbleShare
- Add to my blog

Violence and civilian casualties are more common in the occupied territories than Palestinian Americans and liquor stores. It is so common that I have to admit I generally scan right past reports of IDF clashes in Gaza and the West Bank, sadly it has become so common I find it negligible. I have to say my opinions regarding the conflict have grown out of extensive research, conferences and my own hunger for information. I only wish more people would voluntarily expose themselves to the copious amounts of information available in this information age in which we live.

However some days I stumble upon information that strikes me as shocking to the whole world, something that is immune to bias and spin, today was one of those days.

At least 19 Palestinians, including ten children, and 7 women were killed, early Wednesday, by Israeli tanks in the northern Gaza Strip.

Palestinian witnesses say artillery shells from Israeli tanks struck seven houses in Beit Hanoun in the pre-dawn hours, Wednesday. Hospital emergency rooms in Gaza City say more than 50 people were wounded in the attack - most of them women and children who were struck by the shells as they slept.

"We pulled out bodies, all women and children, dismembered, without heads or hands," Khaled Abu Saada, a Palestinian ambulance driver who evacuated the wounded to hospitals, told Ynet News.

One of the women standing near the street said she had lost four of her children in the incident.

Is it so hard to sympathize with the pain and suffering of other human beings, our brothers and sisters regardless of race or religion? I already hear the objections, "it's an isolated incident", "these things happen in war", "Israel is only defending itself". Those excuses are allowed to permeate once, maybe twice but I want you to remember this incident and remember it the next time it happens and the time after that because I know most of us have already forgotten the countless times it has happened before!

update: Olmert says the bombing on homes in Beit Hanoun were caused by, "Technical failure" and that further mistakes "may happen". Thanks pal, next time you massacre a bunch of women and children we'll rest easy knowing you warned us ahead of time!

Thank You Haifa Wahbe!

2006-11-09T12:28:00.000-06:00

I have to extend a very special thanks to Haifa Wahbe, I can thank her for a considerable amount of traffic on my site. "But Shobrawy, how so?" It's quite simple really. Every so often I check my Statcounter to see who's visiting my site and how they got here. On average there are approximately 15-20 separate visitors from separate locations who arrived here via a search for the picture you see above. I guess I have to thank the photographer for taking such a stunning picture and the manufacturer of those color contacts and all the baby whales who were sacrificed in order to produce all that make-up!

other searches which brought people to my site
-Sexiest hijab
-Egypt Sucks
-Hosni Mubarak; douche

The funny thing is that I have never used any of those words next to each other on this blog....Ever!

My Pissed Off Response

2006-11-08T01:34:00.000-06:00

I received an Email yesterday from a Palestine interest group, which I used to coordinate with, requesting my support in condemning Saddam's execution, the following is my response:

To S---- D-----

I hope you and your organizers burn in the eternal fires of hell for supporting a man who did such evil and despicable things to men women and children. Your hero is a man who would have sent his henchmen to kill your father, rape your mother and torture your siblings had he suspected you had anything but undying devotion to his politics. You're lucky you live in a country that allows you to spread such ignorant filth, remember that when you are sending emails and spreading your falsehoods about America. It's people like you and your supporters that keep our people from progressing and who damage legitimate causes. Tonight I will open my heart to the heavens and pray that you are whisked away in the middle of the night by men with covered faces and subsequently tortured by having a red hot steel rod shoved up your bung-hole!

Yours Truly

D.B. Shobrawy

New Outlook Or Desperate Last Words?

2006-11-08T00:32:00.000-06:00

Today Saddam Hussein, AKA Dead Man Walking, appeared in court today to face his second round of charges. Instead of the usual self serving and defiant posture we've seen since the beginning of his trial, Saddam appeared subdued and saddened today as he heard testimony from survivors of the Kurdish massacre of 1988. Saddam was so subdued that he even had a plea for himself and for the Iraqi people:

In a stark contrast to his defiance on Sunday, when he was sentenced to death by hanging, Saddam cited references to the Prophet Mohamed and to Jesus, whom he said had asked for forgiveness for those who opposed them. "I call on all Iraqis, Arabs and Kurds to forgive, reconcile and shake hands," he said.

This from the man who slaughtered his enemies and rivals since the very first day of his rule.

Video of Saddam receiving his verdict. Good stuff!

Saddam Sings!

How To Spot An American Born Terrorist

2006-11-06T00:15:00.000-06:00

I received a comment on my last post by "d.b. Admirer" saying, "d.b. would you educate us about how to spot an American terrorist for your next blog entry? Thanks very much. :) " At first I thought what a weird request, then I remembered that I promised to write a post by that title over 2 weeks ago. What a colossal ASS I am for forgetting. Well thank you to my personal admirer for reminding me, its about time my readers made suggestions on posts! Anyway, as promised...

How To Spot An American Born Terrorist

1. Is a huge fan of 9/11 conspiracy theories specifically those which leave Osama bin Laden innocent and which find Jew's guilty!

2. Has at some point traveled to the Middle East for an extended amount of time to "learn Arabic".

3. Rolls his pant legs up so that his pants don't touch the "impure ground".

4. Doesn't speak Arabic but uses Arabic terms habitually especially in contexts in which they marginally apply for example, "Walla (I swear to God) bro I'm so hungry" and "I only eat halal, humdullilah (thank God)"

5. Describes non-Iraqi insurgents as people defending their country.

6. Is angry about and objects to Saddam Hussein's death sentence.

7. Hates Palestinians but protests over Israel's occupation of the West Bank and Gaza Strip.

8. Insists that ALL civilians killed in Iraq were killed by the hands of the U.S. and completely ignores the fact that the large majority of civilians have been killed by other Muslims in sectarian skirmishes.

9. Has a wife that looks like this...

10. Sincerely believes Hezbollah defeated Israel and believes anyone who thinks otherwise is a Zionist.

11. Argues that countries that don't practice Shari'a are not Muslim countries regardless of their mostly Muslim population.

12. Hates Housni Mubarak, not because he is a perpetual leader and dictator but because he accepts money from the U.S. and doesn't fight Israel.

13. Is not Saudi Arabian but cheers for Saudi Arabia during World Cup.

14. Denies al Qaeda exists and describes Osama bin Laden as a good Muslim.

15. Refers to all non Muslims, specifically Americans as Kaffir's (Infidels)

Todays Soldiers/Tomorrows Vet's

2006-11-02T12:31:00.000-06:00

Today I was riding the "L" into downtown, I was people watching as I always do, observing the faces and making assessments. One of the people who caught my eye was an older man wearing a beret with Vietnam veteran pins all over it. I can't exactly put my finger on it but something always stands out about a veteran, specifically Vietnam vet's, they have a look of pain and a life's path gone astray. Maybe I'm being an idealist but it always strikes me as sad they seem so tragically forgotten. I try to put myself in their shoes and imagine what they have seen, what they have done and it terrifies me.

Coincidentally there was another veteran on the train an amputee wearing army fatigues, sitting in a wheel chair. 40 years from now, will these be our Iraq vet's, these poor young men now aged who gave up their innocence and limbs for my "freedom". It brings you back to reality and puts a face on the conflict, there are men dying over there having their legs blown off, making the ultimate sacrifice but for what? You could always draw positive reasons for a war, some how some way but does the cause truly justify their sacrifice? I'm not so sure it does.

Oh God, The Irony!

2006-11-01T09:09:00.000-06:00

So I lied, there was a drop in publishing but not because I don't have internet, I hacked into a connection as soon as I got here. The drop in publishing is due to me being thoroughly exhausted! Yesterday me and my friend Q ball moved in the last of my things, it was an all day event and we were ready to pass out, we were hot and sweaty and thirsty so I opened the fridge out of curiosity and found a box of beer, I looked up to the heavens and said, "is this a blessing in disguise?" Disguised by the fact that I don't like beer or alcohol really but as I stood there staring at the bottles I remembered every beer commercial I had ever seen, I remembered all those faces of sweat transformed into refreshness by ice cold bottles of beer. Was it true, could this yellow, piss flavored liquid quench my thirst? I popped one open, threw another to Q ball and poured the fizzy contents into my mouth. Take it from me, if your hot and sweaty and in need of refreshment, go ahead and drink a beer because it was delicious. I sat there on the couch in astonishment as if I was breathing air for the first time.

Later on I heard a knock at the door. I answered the door, it was my new neighbor who wanted to say hello and ask if I needed anything so I had him grab a couple things from the car and move them in. I guess he was trying to be a good neighbor because after that he invited me over. We stepped over to his place and as he opened his door a HUGE billow of smoke came rolling out but he just walked right through it as if wasn't there. Then the smell hit me...Weed! I turned to my new neighbor and said, "is this your home or Snoop Dogg's tour bus?" What luck I have, I sincerely HATE pot heads! Anyways, he gave me the tour and introduced me to his completely roasted friends, then I paused, looked around and realized, oh my God these guys are Arab! "Is this really happening to me, can't I escape these people!?" A Palestinian guy, a Lebanese guy and some others, the rest were Pakistani which aren't Arabs but close enough for the purposes of this post.

So here I am standing in the middle of a smoke filled room amongst a bunch of A-rabs, with "ALLAH" inscribed on the wall in Arabic. I want to be a good neighbor though so I look at my neighbor and his friends and say, "thanks for your help, I have plenty of beer, do you want some?" A guy with a joint in his mouth looks at me and says, "no man, we don't drink!" I look at him and say, "right, right, because alcohol is haram (a sin), I should know better"...........Oh God, the irony!

Moving Day

2006-10-29T15:39:00.000-06:00

Ugh, I'm trying to completely uproot all my belongings from my old place and move them into my new place. I have crap everywhere, things in bags and boxes, hardly any furniture, I feel like a nomad. A matter of fact I'm writing to you now from the comfort of my cold floor. Even worse I haven't set up the cable or internet in the new apartment, don't worry though there shouldn't be a drop in publishing, I plan on hacking into the neighbors wireless connection.

Highlights of the Move.

-The cleaning lady came by, cleaned the fridge, the kitchen counter and then left. I guess I'll be doing the rest.

-I have no food because the cleaning lady decided to throw out my groceries.

-I AM SITTING ON THE FLOOR!

-No movers, just me and and 2 friends.

-I'm hungry...oh yea I forgot, there's no food in the fridge.

-I don't know where I'm sleeping tonight.

and

-I expect getting settled into a new place to feel like the first few weeks in jail, minus the forcefull and aggravated man on man love.

TV For The Whole Family

2006-10-28T15:00:00.000-05:00

This is what I watched on ABC FAMILY today. I stress the words family, as in something Mom and Dad can watch with the little ones.

If You Don't Wear Hijab You Will Be Raped!

2006-10-26T01:37:00.000-05:00

This debate never gets old.

AUSTRALIA'S mufti should resign and move to Iran after publicly saying women who do not wear the hijab invite sexual assault, a Liberal MP said today.
Sheik Taj al-Din al-Hilali used a Ramadan speech in Sydney to blame women who don't wear the hijab (Islamic headdress) for being preyed on by men.
"If you take uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park, or in the backyard without a cover, and the cats come and eat it ... whose fault is it, the cats or the uncovered meat?," The Australian quoted him as saying.
The comments come after several young men were jailed for a string of notorious gang rapes in Sydney, although the sheik did not refer specifically to the crimes

Does this guy have timing or what?

Mrs Mirabella urged the sheik to consider moving to Iran.
"I have a message for Sheik Alhilali: This is Australia, not Iran, and violence and degradation of women is not acceptable," she said.
"If he wants to sprout this type of offensive discourse, perhaps he should be making these comments in an Islamic state - something that Australia never has (been) and never will be."

The more I hear about Australia and their attitude towards Islamic extremism the more I want to move there!

My Car Accident.

2006-10-25T00:03:00.000-05:00

Tonight Some friends and I made plans to go and watch the Chicago Bulls game at our favorite Arabic coffee shop, so I drove downtown to pick up my friend, Doctor D. After I scooped him up we headed towards the highway down one of Chicago's busiest streets, Ontario. Driving down that street is always a disaster waiting to happen because the end of the street runs directly into the highway, its a mad dash to switch lanes and turn before hitting the point of no return. Add that to the fact that the city is filled with Nigerian taxi cab drivers on a suicide mission and you have a gauntlet worthy of American Gladiators (I miss that show).

However it wasn't a Nigerian cab driver who caused this accident, it was much worse than that. Allow me to paint the picture. I'm sitting at the traffic light waiting for it to turn green when.....BLAM! I get rear ended. Everything goes flying, loose change, a water bottle, a pair of chopsticks, things I didn't even know I owned and what I think was a shard of glass, I thought my rear window shattered. It was terrible, I almost spilled my tea. I look to my friend...

Yours Truly: Dude are you O.K.?

Doctor D: What was that!

Yours Truly: What do you think you idiot?

Doctor D: I don't know!

Yours Truly: Just shut up!

I pull over and push the shifter towards park except it wont go into park, I look down and find two pennies wedged in the shifter slot. I pull them out, get out of the car and I swear, the first thing I think is, "It better not be an Asian Driver". Of course because all stereotypes are true and Asians are known to be bad drivers, the perpetrator just so happened to be an Asian girl driving a BMW. Our conversation went like this...

Yours Truly: What happened, you didn't see me?

Stupid Asian Girl: No, I sorry. I look I think you stop.

My internal thought: Great an Asian with no depth perception!

Yours Truly: You think "I stop"? The light was red!

Stupid Asian Girl: I sorry, you are OK?

Yours Truly: Yea we're fine, let me get your information.

While she's filling out her info I see a cop car coming our way. Thank God right? Wrong, he makes a quick left into the McDonald's parking lot and pulls into a handicapped spot only 30 feet away from us, I know he saw us. So I tell Doctor D to run and grab him to make an accident report. Doctor D goes skipping over and apparently the conversation went like this...

Doctor D: Excuse me officer, we just got into an accident could you make a report.

Officer Jag Off: Is anyone hurt!?

Doctor D: No.

Officer Jag Off: Are the cars drivable?

Doctor D: Yes.

Officer Jag Off: O.K. well we're on break so we'll call it in when we're done.

Doctor D: Uhh O.K. thanks!

Chicago's finest ladies and gentlemen!

"America Is Not Fertile Ground For Producing Jihadists"...I Beg To Differ!

2006-10-24T12:35:00.000-05:00

I stumbled onto this Article in the Christian Science Monitor with the headline, "Radical Islam Finds U.S. to be Sterile Ground". I nearly choked when I read the following...

"Home-grown" terror cells remain a concern of US law officers, who cite several disrupted plots since 9/11. But the suspects' unsophisticated planning and tiny numbers have led some security analysts to conclude that America, for all its imperfections, is not fertile ground for producing jihadist terrorists.

and

It's impossible to pinpoint the factors that produce home-grown terrorists, analysts say. But it's also impossible to ignore the stark contrast between the lives of Muslims in European countries where bombings have occurred and those of Muslims in America.

"What we have here among Muslim-Americans is a very conservative success ethic," says John Zogby, president of Zogby International in Utica, N.Y., whose polling firm has surveyed the Muslim-American community. "People come to this country and they like it. They don't view it as the belly of the beast. With very few exceptions, you don't see the bitter enclaves that you have in Europe."

I find the whole concept laughable on an idealistic level and extremely dangerous on a national security level. You don't need me to tell you this is B.S., just think about the country you live in. No one really wants to be American we are all guilty of that, this is the country where 10th generation Americans drive around with foreign flags on their rear view mirror, the country where everyone cheers for their ancestral nation during World Cup instead of the country they live in. This is the country where cities are still segregated into several different ethnic groups, personally I'm down the street from the Ukrainian Village, 2 miles from China town, half a block from Little Italy, across the highway from Greek Town and every shop owner in Arabic town (which overlaps over Korea town) knows my face.

England, a victim of homegrown terror is quite different, immigrants have almost totally assimilated into British society. If you question how true that is just observe British media and entertainment, you will be amazed at the number of Indian and Pakistani faces you'll see, broadcasters, actors and other T.V. personalities.

Don't let these kinds of articles and Zogby polling fool you, America is full of American born Muslims who dream of turning the U.S. into a Muslim controlled nation, complete with Islamic law, trust me I grew up around many of them. I was there in the Mosques, before 9/11 listening to the cries for Jihad and I was there after 9/11 in the Universities when Sheiks preached peace and love out of their own fear, they were wolves in sheep's clothing. Let me assure you that the faces in the Mosque with me, listening to hate speech were young men, born in America and when America suffers its first attack from the hands of home grown jihadists, it will be men like these who are blowing themselves up.

Are the majority of American born Muslims jihadist candidates? No, certainly not, don't come away thinking that! However is the U.S. safe from home grown terror? Far from it.

*Tomorrow I will post, "How To Detect An American Terrorist"

BTW- I love the guy with the Dale Earnhardt jacket wearing the traditional Arab scarf in the picture above.

Egypt, Prepare To Be Attacked!

2006-10-24T12:30:00.000-05:00

Well not quite but a little too close for comfort regardless. Several Israeli cabinet ministers are demanding the re-acquisition of the Gaza-Egypt border following the discovery of tunnels leading from Egypt into Gaza. The call comes from the Shas Party, an ultra orthodox party which supports an extensive military operation including Israeli troops on Egyptian soil.

Personally I think Israel has controlled the Sinai Peninsula since its acquisition in 1967. It was signed back over to the Egyptians in 1979 but I don't think Egypt has much say in whether or not Israeli troops step foot on it. Plus the territory is filled with checkpoints, Egyptian soldiers, Israeli tourists and a Giant wall to help keep the "animals" contained.

Arab Americans Are Second Class Citizens In The Occupied Territories

2006-10-20T00:42:00.000-05:00

Not my words but those of a senior diplomatic official.

During her recent trip to Israel, U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice raised the issue with Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni, and U.S. diplomats have also recently complained to the Israeli Embassy in Washington, officials said.
"They are being treated as Arabs and not Americans," one senior official said. "They basically treat them as second-class citizens."
In a speech October 11 before the American Task Force on Palestine, Rice acknowledged "continuing problems of security" faced by Palestinian-Americans living and working in Gaza and the West Bank and pledged "to ensure that all American travelers receive fair and equal treatment."
David Siegel, a spokesman for the Israeli Embassy in Washington, told CNN in a phone interview, "We are aware of the issue and it is being treated at senior levels, but we are waiting for more details from the administration on specific cases they have raised."

Though this might be news to most, I can't say that I've been unaware of such issues facing Arab Americans traveling in Israel and the Occupied Territories. Not because I'm so astute but because Israel's mistreatment of Arab Americans changed the State Departments policies years ago, concerning American citizens in foreign countries. Most Americans think when they travel abroad they have power and security the Pope could only dream of, you know that line, "Hey you can't do that I'm an American!" Sorry John Smith, it doesn't work like that anymore. So before you go running around in a foreign country with your pants down, let me clarify things for you. That's how it used to be, American citizens used to have the leverage of contacting the U.S. Embassy for various reasons. Approximately 10-15 years ago that all changed. Israel lobbied the State Department to change their policies regarding American travelers so that Americans of Palestinian ancestry returning home could not refuse check points, unwarranted arrests and other abuses. The State Department eventually conceded and since changed their policy stating that Americans are subject to the laws of the country they are visiting.

To read that the State Department was unaware of Israeli mistreatment of Arab Americans in the occupied territories, is laughable. Where were the State Departments objections when they bent over to Israel's request. They know why the policy was changed, they were aware of the methods of the IDF concerning Arab Americans before the policy was changed because by lobbying for a policy change Israeli petitioners brought their intentions to light, as if to say, 'this is how we want to treat Palestinians regardless of American citizenship , this is how we have been treating them but your foreign policy is complicating the matter.'

I'd love to slander Condi and demand she get off her butt and do something but what can she do, ask Tzipi Livni to lighten up on Arabs, 'pretty please' ? There's a better chance of me marrying Haifa Wahbe. It's not as though Arab Americans traveled through Israel harassment free before the State Department amended its policies. However I have this piece of advice for Ms. Rice, hold on let me turn on my mega-phone...

CONDI, STOP PUCKERING YOUR LIPS UP TO ISRAEL'S BUTT CRACK! THE U.S. GIVES OVER 1.6 BILLION DOLLARS TO ISRAEL EVERY YEAR, NOT INCLUDING BALANCING OUT THEIR DEFICIT EACH YEAR. YOU DON'T HAVE TO POLITELY ASK THEM TO BE CIVIL AND HUMANE TO AMERICAN CITIZENS, DEMAND IT!!!!!

BTW- I have a Palestinian friend who gets beat up, arrested and released without charges each and every single time he travels back to the homeland (the occupied territories of Palestine). I don't know why that stupid bastard keeps going back. The worst part about it is that he was born in the U.S., he's Palestinian only by blood. He's not even a potential terrorist, the guy's Christian....C'est la vie

Shobrawy Throwback

2006-10-19T01:21:00.001-05:00

I hate slow news days like today, they make me wish there was some terrible going on somewhere, call me evil. Don't get me wrong things are happening, nothing I care to entertain you with but things are happening.

Some rich idiot, with no peripheral vision, poked a hole in a 140 million dollar Picasso...big deal. More troops are dead in Iraq, I wish that was any different than yesterday or tomorrow. Oh yea, Anwar Sadats nephew has been arrested and charged with "spreading false rumors and insulting the armed forces", for suggesting that a military conspiracy involving Hosni Moubarak was responsible for his uncles death. I'm sure every Egyptian blogger will be writing about it but not me, I cant say I find it terribly interesting.

So what do I have for you? A special treat! Back before anyone knew my site existed I was still writing, quality stuff too. The following is a personal story I wrote on June 19th, 3 days after I opened my blog, a throwback.

The Phantom Menace

June 19, 2006

In my description I note being analytical, I like to believe I am in the upper percentile in terms of analytical ability and because of being so analytical I have a lot of opinions.

That bothers some people but ask yourself, have you ever met anyone who had NO opinions. I have and let me start by saying people like that are the scourge of the earth and should be abandoned on a remote island with scarce resources.

What would they talk about, would they bore each other to death? Really imagine what kind of person you would be if your parents didn't take a stance on issues and tell you, "this is wrong and this is right"? Worse yet, not having opinions generally equals an inability to have a conversation.

Let me tell you about this soulless person I was once friends with, who was functionally incompetent at forming a single opinion. In order to protect this persons identity we will refer to her as The Phantom Menace (yea its a girl, are you surprised).

When it comes to me I enjoy good conversation with my friends and personally I think I am a master at creating conversation with anyone, I could get a mute to tell me about their likes and dislikes.

One of my techniques is randomly posing a question to a group of quiet and boring people. You have to make the question a little edgy, I could get the Queen of England to talk to me about her bowel movements.

I am not David Blaine though, if your mentally absent I cant help you. The Phantom Menace was mentally absent, this was one of our conversations, word for word...

Yours Truly: what's up?
PM: I don't know, nothing?
Yours Truly: *raised eye brow* your not sure?
PM: Huh?
Yours Truly: Nothing, so hows school, work, life?
PM: Um, I dont know.

Is this girl serious, she doesnt have an opinion on how shes doing, she "dont know".
Now even though this isn't the first encounter of this nature with PM I am going for gold here because I have faith in my skills, so I hit her with this...

Yours Truly: when was the last time you farted?
PM: What!?
Yours Truly: come on, its nothing to be ashamed of, its normal, its natural, everyone does it, you're human aren't you?
**PAUSE**
PM: Yea, Sooo what's up?

Great we are back to talking about nothing! At this point I decide to throw a cynical curve ball

Yours Truly: So how do you feel about Hitler, nice guy? Over achiever?
PM: I don't know
Yours Truly: you dont know? wow, anything, anything at all?
**Blank Stare**

Seriously is she trying to be cute, whets the deal? The scary thing is, this girl is in law school. A lawyer without opinions is like a basketball player without illegitimate kids.
Generally I am up for this kind of challenge but I have no patience so I loose it...

Yours Truly: seriously why am I friends with you, why is anyone friends with you, you offer absolutely nothing to society!
PM: What, what do you want me to say?
Yours truly: nothing, don't say anything, just sit there and take up space.

I know this seems harsh but the good thing about people like this is you can really rip into them and it rolls right off their back.

What ended up happening is I realized that even though PM isnt a bad person I just cant communicate with her so I ended ties 4 or 5 months ago. I know what your thinking, I am mean right?

Well it might seem mean but if you have a friend like this do yourself a favor and cut them loose because by continuing your friendship your actually making yourself dumber. Save yourself people!

Bad Decisions Lead To Last Decisions

2006-10-17T01:11:00.000-05:00

The Pope has scheduled a trip to the secular but Islamic country of Turkey only a month after his controversial comments which drew fatwas ordering his murder. Hmmm.

Some extremely poor last decisions

-Christopher Wallace , A.K.A. Notorious B.I.G., travels to L.A. to release his second album months after the death of Tupac Shakur, which some believed Wallace to be responsible for.

-After a long day of work Mary Todd Lincoln convinces her husband to take her out for a relaxing night at the theatre.

- King Henry II of France insisted on having his helmet made out of gold, he was killed during a stunt knight's jousting match, when his helmet's soft golden grille gave way to a broken lance tip which pierced his eye and entered his brain.

-President William Henry Harrison gives the longest inaugural speech in U.S. history in the middle of winter with no coat on, resulting in death from pneumonia.

-John Sedgewick, Union general in the American Civil War, was killed by a distant Confederate sniper at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House . Among his last words to his men were "They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!"

-Jack Daniel, founder of the famous Tennessee whiskey distillery, died of blood poisoning from a toe injury he received after kicking his safe in anger when he could not remember its combination code.

-"The Engineer" Yahya Ayyash, chief Palestinian bombmaker of Hamas was assassinated by way of a Shin Bet (Shabak) rigged mobile phone, which detonated when he answered a call. Shouldn't have let your cell phone leave your sight.

-David Bailey, an Irish man died when he was urinated on by a rat while attempting to retrieve lost golf ball from a ditch. Bailey apparently startled the rat, causing it to dart up his pant leg and urinate on him. After the incident, Bailey's companions urged him to immediately shower, but Bailey refused stating that he had no bites or scratches. He died two weeks later from kidney failure brought on by an acute case of leptospirosis.

-Alexander Bogdanov, a physician and scientist, conducted an experiment for a "rejuvination" technique wherein he deliberately gave himself a transfusion of blood from a student who suffered from malaria and tuberculosis. He died of the subsequent infection.

I'm On Drugs

2006-10-15T23:44:00.000-05:00

Last week my Mom called me to say my Uncle S, A.K.A. "The Enforcer", was looking for me. I love my Uncle but he's not the kind of guy you want "looking for you", he's not called The Enforcer for nothing.

To put it plainly my Uncle is a professional bad ass who served in the Egyptian army during one of the Arab-Israeli wars and who is feared by Chicago's entire Egyptian community. This guy is no joke, he has a stone cold look that makes babies cry, not to mention that he's one of the most imposing figures I've ever known.

Regardless I decided to swallow my fear and give him a call to see what he wanted.

The Enforcer: Hello!

Yours Truly: Hi Uncle.

The Enforcer: Hey how are you?

Yours Truly: Good.

The Enforcer: Good? What do you mean your good?

Yours Truly: I don't know, I feel good.

The Enforcer: Uh huh, like the song? I feel good, nah na nah na nah na na!

Yours Truly: Uhhh kinda, Mom said you wanted to talk to me, yea?

The Enforcer: Yea, why don't you come over on Sunday so we can talk?

Yours Truly: Sure, no problem.

How completely terrifying, the Enforcer wants to talk to me face to face! I have to admit when Sunday came around I was ready to crap my pants but you couldn't tell by looking at me, I know not to show fear in front of The Enforcer. When we finally met up my Uncle grabbed two chairs, faced them about 2 inches from each other and told me to sit down.

The conversation went like this.

Yours Truly: So what did you want to talk about?

The Enforcer: I wanted to talk to you about something someone told me, something disturbing!

Yours Truly: Uhh O.K. what is it? (at this point I'm shaking)

The Enforcer: I heard you're on drugs.

Yours Truly: What!? Me? On drugs? Who told you that?

The Enforcer: It only takes one or two times to become addicted and then your stealing your doing anything for more drugs.

Yours Truly: Uncle, I'm not on drugs.

The Enforcer: I see these people at work, they are like animals, the black people and the Mexicans, they kill each other for more drugs.

Yours Truly: Seriously I'm not on drugs, why would someone who doesn't know me say that?

The Enforcer: Just tell me now, we can get you help!

Yours Truly: Uncle would you please listen to me, I'm not on drugs, you can talk to any of my friends they will tell you I'm not on drugs.

The Enforcer: OK, I believe you but if you are just tell me now so we can get you help!

Yours Truly: Oh my God, I don't know what I can tell you that will convince you I'm not using drugs!

The Enforcer: OK, If your not than I'm happy.

Yours Truly: OK, are we done here?

The Enforcer: Yea, but I better not find out your lying!

How unbelievable is this! I have never been the victim of Egyptian gossip before and suddenly after so many years I find out from my Uncle, via some anonymous stranger, that I'm on drugs! Allow me to clarify, I'm not on drugs, nor have I ever used or even tried a drug. So to that person who's making up lies about me, I'm going to find you!

Side note: Maybe this rumor started as a result of my abuse of NyQuil.

Iraqi Kids Get Their Ass Beat!

2006-10-12T00:30:00.000-05:00

I know I've been a little YouTube happy lately but I cant help it, I keep unearthing good stuff like this jewel of a clip.

The video shows some British troops in Iraq beating the crap out of some kids after the kids threw rocks at them. It looks terrible but let me point out some things before you go nuts and write your Congressman.

1. Soldiers carry guns.

2. Soldiers kill people for a living.

3. Soldiers witness a lot of mind altering events like bodies blowing up and people getting shot in the face, its not like the movies, seeing that stuff will change you forever.

but most importantly

4. Soldiers kill people for a living!

So what would make a 12 year old brave enough to throw rocks at these lean mean killing machines? Drugs maybe? I've heard a lot of people say, "they don't know any better", don't give me that crap, those kids know exactly what they're doing, in fact they know very well the nature of these soldiers. They throw stones because, 'there's no way the kind hearted British/American soldiers would kill me!' Would these same kids have dared to throw stones at Saddam's Republican Guard? No way because Saddam struck the fear of God into their hearts! If Al-Qaeda were patrolling our streets would you let your kids play in the streets and throw stones at them? If you were irresponsible enough to let your kids do something so foolish, do you think our enemies would hesitate to kill them!? Yea these Soldiers beat these kids up, excessively even but do you think they treated them different then anyone in their neighborhood would treat some punk kids?

Mark Foley Is A Flamer!

2006-10-11T00:01:00.000-05:00

Listen to Pat Buchanan rant and rave, I love it! Listen to him say flamer, he really stresses the "F", it sounds like Fffffflamer!

These news shows continue to pop out hilarious video clips. If I had to pull a figure out of my butt I would say 51.8 percent of clips on YouTube are from news channels like Fox News, MSNBC and CNN.

I Love You NyQuil

2006-10-11T00:00:00.000-05:00

I'm sick...again! Some of you might remember my earlier post about being sick. This time I'm exceptionally sick (I always think I'm sicker than the last time I was sick). When I'm sick NyQuil is my best friend, I don't even measure it I just chug it out of the bottle like a drunk housewife. Tonight I intend to take an unsafe dosage of Nyquil, copious amounts of NyQuil in fact. If I stop publishing posts its either because I'm either dead or asleep.

Classic Ayman al-Zawahiri Video

2006-10-10T11:30:00.000-05:00

A couple things about this video.

1. The narrator is far too sympathetic towards Ayman al-Zawahiri, Al-Qaedas number 2 and Omar Abdel Rahman the mastermind of the first world trade center bombing.

2. If an Islamic fundamentalist (Omar Abdel Rahman, the blind Sheik), who has been arrested and linked to the assassination of a foreign leader, attempts to immigrate to your country, its probably best you don't give him a green card. Who is the jag-off who approved his application?

Saddams Disorderly Conduct

2006-10-10T09:06:00.000-05:00

Guess what? Today Saddam was kicked out of court...again! For the fourth time in 3 weeks in fact and I have to admit, I'm upset, not because he's been getting booted out of court but because I'm not there to witness it. Really imagine it, Saddam Hussein, former dictator, delusional sociopath and the constant butt of jokes and caricature for the last 15 years, on trial for Genocide! Not to mention that Saddam really puts on a show, this time it was quoting the Quran at high volume. He stood up and yelled, "fight them and God will punish them..." before his mic could be turned off and the bailiff escorted him out.

(this might interest you, the complete verse Saddam was trying to state before he was rudely interrupted is "Fight them, and God will punish them by your hands, cover them with shame." Surah 9:14 In context the verse revers to fighting non-believers, infidels.)

Now that Saddam has been removed from court the show must be over right? Wrong! After he's removed the other defendants stand up and start yelling in protest. Then the bailiff walks over and trys to force defendant Hussein Rashid al-Tikriti back into his seat, al-Tikriti responds by punching the bailiff!

I cant wait to see what happens tomorrow!

By the way- I absolutely love that picture, I seriously want a poster of it.

A Palestine/Israel Dialogue For Everyone.

2006-10-09T01:39:00.000-05:00

Last week I wrote a post concerning Condoleeza Rice's visit with Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas and her pledge of U.S. help. The point of the post was to express the contradiction in actions as I see it. I would like to present to you the dialogue between a commenter "programmer Craig" and myself because I feel some key points were brought up and I would like to share them with everyone. This is the type of post in which I anticipate dialogue from the readers. Because of the nature of the topic, Palestine/Israel, I would like to remind everyone that I expect respectful and constructive dialogue, please refrain from childish name calling and violent rebuttals. (unless you find it absolutely necessary, haha ) In advance I would like to say thank you to Craig for providing the dialouge, I respect your right to disagree.

First Craig's comment and then mine.

PROGRAMMER CRAIG
Yes, the US does support Israel. You're absolutely right. And that is not ever going to change. I do believe the US wants peace, though, and a mutually agreeable solution. The US does not view Palestinians as an enemy now, and it never has. That's as good as it gets for US positioning towards Palestinians, and it's probably better than it should be. Palestinians forced two US journalists to convert to Islam at gunpoint just a couple months ago. That's not good. To say the least.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend-Arab proverb

Wouldn't a variation of that be "the enemy of my friend is my enemy," DB?

Are you advocating that the US should treat Palestinians as enemies of America?

You provide the bombs that are dropped on Palestine

We sell weapons to all of our allies. We even sell weapons to neutrals. We sell weapons to Egypt, you know?

you provide the construction equipment that is used to build homes in the occupied territories

You'd prefer if Israeli construction companies bought heavy equipment from Russia? Japan? China? Europe?

What possible difference would it make?

you provide the training that is used to sweep the homes of families in the West Bank and Gaza Strip

This is untrue. The US does not train Israeli military personnel. Trust me, I would know, if we did. The US *does* train Egyptian military personnel, though.

you provide the money and the legislation that has greatly diminished the Palestinian quality of life.

Egypt and Israel *both* recieve money, as agreed to by the Camp David accords. That is a matter of treaty, agreed to by Jimmy Carter, Anwar Sadat, and Menachem Begin.

Nothing to so with Palestinians.

As far as Legislation, US lawmakers do as they see fit, and as their constituents will support. We don't work for Palestinians over here in teh US, and we don't work for the Israelis, either.

If you think Palestinians should be treated better by America, try doing something that merits better treatment. And if you'd prefer Palestinians be enemies of the United States, I'm sure that could be arranged. It wouldn't take much.

Yours Truly

Craig-"Are you advocating that the US should treat Palestinians as enemies of America?" I'm certainly not advocating that, my point is a cynical one. The U.S. DOES in fact treat the Palestinians as enemies by financially backing a country whose biggest door mat are the Palestinians.

I certainly don't agree with the actions of many Palestinian groups however the Palestinian people are being blended as enemies alongside Jihadist groups. You can say the people support them etc but by that logic it's justifiable for Al Qaeda to target American civilians because we support our troops.

You cited several examples in which the U.S. provides assistance and you asked would i rather china, japan or Russia provided it, "what difference does it make"? The difference is obvious. While funding and supplying the slow and cruel genocide of Palestinian civilians we are pledging help to the Palestinian leadership. It is the pure definition of Cat and Mouse Game.

As far as the money Egypt and Israel receive as agreed to by the camp David accords. Its not an eternal payout. The amount goes up, it goes down and it can stop, in fact congress votes on whether to continue funding to Egypt each year and this was a key issue previous to the "democratic" elections in Egypt this past year. The reason our government supports Egypt is because Egypt is considered a potentially large threat to Israel if not kept close to the American bosom. Tactically it is crucial to Israel and the U.S. that Egypt stays an ally and not an enemy. Do you think if the Muslim brotherhood gained control of the Egyptian Government the U.S. would continue to fund Egypt because of the camp David accords?! Obviously not.

Craig do I believe the U.S. works for Israel? Well Israel is the only country whose Bonds are redeemable in the U.S. Israel is the only country in which American citizens can fight in its army. The Israeli lobby is the second largest and most power full in the country after AARP and during the past presidential elections John Kerry and George W. Bush both stated "I will do what is in the best interest of Israel and the American people" Respectively. This has become standard protocol for American voters but as far as I'm concerned I don't want MY president doing anything in the interest of another country. We the American people should be their first priority.

Do I think the Palestinians should be treated as enemies of the U.S.? I don't see how they are not! Does anyone else?

An Exciting Announcement

2006-10-06T00:00:00.000-05:00

I would like to proudly announce that my blog has reached another milestone in its constantly evolving development, I have been recognized by Toot! What is Toot? Toot is an organization which in the last year has hand picked a very select number of blogs from around the Middle East as well as the world wide Arab diaspora, and features them daily on their site Toot! Other blogs featured on toot include Sandmonkey, Leilouta, Mindbleed, Mental Mayhem and Iraq The Model

I think I'm in good company! Thanks Roba.

By the way, on Toot you can vote for blogs you like so if you enjoy what you read swing over and give me a vote, Thanks.

Cat And Mouse Game

2006-10-04T23:16:00.000-05:00

As far as Israel/Palestine is concerned you may agree with Israel you may agree with the Palestinians. Regardless of how you feel both sides can acknowledge one simple fact, the U.S. supports Israel...whole heartily, it's not a matter of contention. With that being said allow me to pose a question. Why do U.S. administrators pledge to help Palestine? Like Condoleeza Rice telling Mahmoud Abbas, 'we pledge our help', 'we are very concerned'. No your not, come on, I don't care who your enemies and allies are but lets be realistic. You provide the bombs that are dropped on Palestine, you provide the construction equipment that is used to build homes in the occupied territories, you provide the training that is used to sweep the homes of families in the West Bank and Gaza Strip, you provide the money and the legislation that has greatly diminished the Palestinian quality of life. It wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't so ironic and contradictory.

I don't think I need to construct some analogy explaining how to deal with allies and their enemies, if I do please X out the page and never read my blog again. So what's the deal is it a matter of playing the fence? Is it guilt? Is it just keeping up appearances?

The enemy of my enemy is my friend-Arab proverb

15 Things I Love.

2006-10-04T02:24:00.000-05:00

Responding to a Tag by Ha Ana Za

1. Television

2. Big Booty

3. Shobra, Egypt

4.Basketball

5. Tabasco Sauce

6. Chicago

7. The Fresh Prince of Bel Air

8. 2pac's music

9. Stuffed cabbage

10. Lipton tea

11. War movies

12. Ruby

13. Great white basketball players

14. Wiener dogs

15. The sound of laughter

Holy S&#*!

2006-10-03T16:53:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness gracious, taking this test may cause me to lose half my readers. The sad part is, the description couldn't be more true!

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

UPDATE:

I did the leader test again because I was not totally thrilled with my initial result. I answered 9 questions instead of 27 questions and got this.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Who's the sick jerk who designed these tests?

Fun With Pictures

2006-10-03T00:23:00.001-05:00

Something is wrong with this photo, can you figure it out?

CLICK TO ENLARGE

Side note:The friend of a friend of a friend made this picture for an IKEA catalog and was fired for it.

Shobrawy Eats Greek, Loses Temper.

2006-10-03T00:23:00.000-05:00

Sunday I went to dinner in "Greek Town" with a friend. We decided to go to the more famous of the Greek restaurants available. I won't even bother telling you the name of this restaurant because I don't want to accidentally promote their business and as a result make them money. As you might be able to tell I was extremely displeased with my dining experience.

I should have known better, I haven't yet had a good experience at a Greek restaurant but I apparently came down with amnesia before agreeing to it. Even worse I get suckered into eating Greek food fairly often because Egyptians are under this tragic misunderstanding that Greek food is a classy adaptation of Arabic food.

Anyway, we arrive and are seated, the place is nice on the inside, very busy and lively, waiters yelling "Opa"*, setting alcohol soaked dishes on fire etc. The waiter asks me what I'd like to drink, I order a Coke so he brings me this

Yours Truly: Excuse me, Stavros.

Waiter: Yes sir?

Yours Truly: What is this?

Waiter: It's your Coke sir.

Yours Truly: Yea and where's the rest of it?

Waiter: that's it.

Yours Truly: Listen I'm sure in Greece these bottles are cool and trendy but by the looks of this 10 oz bottle I don't believe there are free refills, are there?

Waiter: No sir.

Yours Truly: Uh huh, thanks.

You might not be able to tell from the picture but that's a 10 oz. bottle of Coke. I would have brought one from the restaurant and taken its picture next to a regular bottle but the busboys were like ninjas, I never saw them come or go. I would take a bite of food and suddenly the bottles were gone, they should work for the CIA or something. Either way the bottles were like two good sips, that's it. I hate restaurants that don't have free refills, it seems like the most basic courtesy. Keep your complimentary bread it's cutting the roof of my mouth, give me a free soda instead, I'm thirsty!

Another thing I hate about Greek restaurants is the menu, nothing sounds appetizing at all. On top of that I hate ordering at a restaurant, I'm terrified I'll order something and not like it so I ended up ordering something I've had a million times, gyros. You might be thinking, "You ordered gyros at a nice Greek restaurant" Trust me if I could go back and time and order something else I would.

By the time he brings out the food I've racked up 15 dollars in Coke alone, I'm starving so I dig in. My taste buds are slow, it takes me a while to figure out whether I like the food, after a couple bites I realize my gyros is D.I.S.G.U.S.T.I.N.G.

1. Its dry, bone dry infact, so dry that it scratches my throat on the way down. Some parts were even crispy and everyone knows gyros is NOT crispy.

2. It smells. I didn't realize it at first but it smelled like old meat.

3. It tasted like a combination of the fat you scrape off the bottom of a frying pan and testicle sweat. It's not unlikely that the waiter was wearing my gyros inside his underwear all day.

Finally I called the waiter over and asked why my gyros tasted like human sweat.

Yours Truly: Hey Stavros, I never complain at a restaurant but this Gyros tastes really bad. Is it supposed to taste like this?

Waiter: It's just like any other gyros.

Yours Truly: Really, so its supposed to taste like ball sweat?

Waiter: Excuse me sir.

Yours Truly: It tastes like the cook rubbed my gyros on his balls! You want me to believe it's supposed to taste like this!

Waiter: Sir it looks fine to me.

Yours Truly: Taste it, you might gag!

Waiter: No thank you. Would you like a glass of wine sir?

Yours Truly: What for, to drown out the taste? No thank you, can we get the check please?

Can you believe this guy, trying to tell me their gyros which was clearly burned on some parts, was just like any other gyros. I don't know if I'll ever eat gyros again.

*Allow me to dispel some misconceptions about Greek restaurants. I heard a waiter drop a plate or glass and NO ONE yelled Opa! Instead the manager looked over like "if you drop one more plate your fired"

The Soprano's Meet Al Qaeda.

2006-10-02T02:44:00.000-05:00

Apparently there is concern among the FBI counter-terrorism division regarding mobsters selling arms to terrorists, if the price is right of course. The FBI has cited incidents of mobsters attempting to sell missiles to FBI informants posing as terrorist middle men for Al Qaeda. Most distressing is the FBI's suspicions of New York Crime families like the still powerful and active Gambino crime family. I have a friend in Brooklyn who does "favors" for some mobsters, I'll be giving him a call tomorrow.

Being that the U.S. is engaged in an indefinite war with terrorits all over the world, I think its only fair that any person living in America and caught aiding terrorists be charged with treason and upon a guilty verdict, be executed. It's only fair and I would have trouble finding people who disagree, except for maybe a few extreme liberal tree kissers.

The News Bomb!

2006-09-27T20:52:00.000-05:00

It's back and I know you missed it, The News Bomb. A collection of news bits that catch my eye, not worthy of a whole post but certainly worth mentioning.

By the way I'd like to take this moment to thank all people for whom without The News Bomb would't be possible, the crazy a$$holes, the stupid people, the hypocrites, the extremists, the politicians (who may fit any one or more of those categories) and of course you the readers (who hopefully don't fit any of those categories).

Q: How do you cause fear and enable prejudice against your religion?
A: Everytime someone says something "offensive" about your religion go nuts, riots, death warrants (fatwas) etc.

Since the Mohammed cartoons and the Pope Benedict debacle the world has learned their lesson. As a result an opera in Germany which depicts the severed heads of Mohammed, Jesus, Buddha and even Poseidon has been canceled. I guess some people just don't have esteem for the arts.

I think Israel, the U.S. and Saudi Arabia are trading Ideas with each other, they seem to have an affection for walls, first there was the apartheid wall in Israel then the illegal immigrant wall in the U.S. and now Saudi Arabia has come up with their own wall, a wall to keep their own people from crossing the border into Iraq. How bad does a problem need to be for you to build a wall spanning 560 miles designed to keep people in!?

Just as predicted violence goes up in Iraq during Ramadan. I find it sad and ironic specifically because historically the month of Ramadan in pre-Islamic Arabia was a month in which rivaling tribes had a truce with each other. Now Sunnis and Shi'as are killing each other as they leave the mosque after prayer!

First there were the moderate Arab blogs, now moderation and anti jihadist opinions have hit the Arab airways, in Syria no less.

Political Analysis

2006-09-27T11:43:00.000-05:00

Sorry for no post this morning, I dont want to tie myself to a schedule but I generally dont like to have an off day. I will however post some stuff this evening for you to enjoy, in the meantime here is something to hold you over.

Hold The Bacon!

2006-09-25T23:10:00.000-05:00

About a week before the start of Ramadan I met up a female Muslim friend for lunch, with Ramadan soon approaching, religion was an inevitable topic of conversation. We were walking downtown on the way to the sandwich shop and so it began..

Yours Truly: Are you dreading the start of Ramadan or are you prepared this time?

The Friend: Umm, I'm not going to fast, I just don't see the point, I mean I'm not your typical Muslim.

Yours Truly: What do you mean?

The Friend: Well I drink alcohol, I don't wear a Hijab, I don't pray, I wear clothes that show my cleavage and I just don't agree with a lot of Islamic teaching.

Yous Truly: Hahaha. Yea I don't think you own a shirt that doesn't show your cleavage, you dress like a stripper!

The Friend: Shut up! The point is I don't know if I'm Muslim, I don't think I believe in any of it.

Yours Truly: So you don't believe in God?

The Friend: No I believe in God it's just Islam, I don't think I agree with any of it.

Yours Truly: OK this is too heavy for a Monday, can we eat now?

At this point we arrived at the restaurant and stepped up to the counter to order, my friend ordered first.

The Friend: Hi how are you? Can I get a turkey bacon wrap with NO bacon.

Cashier: No problem, anything else?

The Friend: No but its really important that you don't put bacon on it.

Cashier: No problem ma'am, I promise, no bacon.

The Friend: OK thank you.

Yours Truly: Haha, what are you allergic to bacon?

The Friend: No, eating pork is Haram ( a sin ).

Yours Truly:Hahahahaha

The Friend: What!?

Yours Truly: You just said you don't believe in Islam, you drink and we both know you dress like a street walker, so who cares about pork!?

The Friend: I don't understand what you mean.

Yours Truly: Nevermind!

Chicken Of The Sea.

2006-09-25T13:59:00.000-05:00

My dolphin shaped piece of Chicken from Popeye's

The Current State Of Terror.

2006-09-25T01:14:00.000-05:00

According to a new article by the Associated Press, several U.S. Intelligence agencies as well as numerous private analysts are stating, they view Al-Qaeda as a significantly lower threat to the United States since 9/11.

The article cites recent terrorist acts such as the Syrian militant attack on a U.S. Embassy and the random attack of a British tourist in Jordan as in no way being Al-Qaeda related. Recent small scale terrorist acts coupled with French intelligence reports of a dead Osama bin Laden have turned Al-Qaeda from the most threatening evil in the world to a mere propaganda machine, an idol which fuels small and acutely unorganized terrorist groups.

I don't believe the majority of people will realize it today or tomorrow but one day in the future when we look back on "The War on Terror" we'll see we were at war with anti American extremism as we were in the 80's against Iran and not so much "Al-Qaeda". If you don't believe in the war you must concede, all of our chips are in and there is no turning back, we are in it to win it, and to win it we must always be steps ahead of those who desire our destruction. Right now America is losing the propaganda war, we don't seem to know exactly who our enemies are, if we continue to skower the mountains searching for Osama bin Laden, we might as well dig our graves now.

If not Al-Qaeda than who?

The enemy is the ideology that was given birth to 70+ years ago by Hassan al Banna and 40 years ago by Sayyid Qutb . The two are the fathers of militant extremism in the Middle East, who if Satan never created, Al-Qaeda would be non-existent.

What now?

Though we need not fear Osama anymore we're now faced with a new menace, the jihadist training camp which is the Iraq war just as the Russian/Afghan war was a training ground for mujahideen soldiers like Osama bin Laden, Ayman al-Zawahiri and Abu Musab al Zarqawi. The American people are culpable for our failures in Iraq, the U.S. government has failed to make Iraq a safer place and we the people are responsible for not holding our leaders accountable for their failures. Remember patriotism is NOT blindly following Fox News and whoever sits in the oval office, its not standing by a president solely because of our dislike for the opposite party, it's constantly striving to make our country better and our misappropriation of consciousness is an enabler in not accomplishing that goal.

Uhh, Can I Speak To Your Marketing Department?

2006-09-23T19:35:00.000-05:00

This is a paper toilet seat cover.

This is the label on the box of toilet seat covers at work.

Ironic or intentional?

Boredom Equals Terrorism.

2006-09-22T01:29:00.000-05:00

I have a theory about jihadists, I think they're just bored. Imagine what it's like to live in Palestine, your a refugee in your own country, you've been cornered into a slum called the Gaza strip, you have a 10 o'clock curfew imposed by another country, most of your buddies from high school are dead, your dirt poor, you have no job and if you do have a job they don't pay you. That sort of thing tends to create a lot of hostility plus you have TONS of time on your hands, you might as well join a neighborhood terrorist group. It's a simple formula...

Multi-generational occupation
+
Poverty
+
Boredom
=
Blood thirsty jihadist

Next time you're SUPER bored think of how many other things you'd rather be doing, killing people might be one of them. Usually when I'm bored I want to murder my friend "Special K".