Monday, July 31, 2006

The Shobrawy - Sandmonkey Connection

I have an announcement to make.

If you haven't already heard Sandmonkey has extended his paw and added me to the links featured on his site. You can find me under "Interesting Egyptians" listed as "Shobrawy". This is the equivalent of a rapper having "street cred" so as you can imagine I am very excited for what the future entails. So to Sandmonkey and all those who "get it" thank you and keep reading because I'm just getting started.

D.B. Shobrawy

P.S. I put a link definition for "Street Cred" for the international market, just in case.

Olmert VS. Bush

It looks like I'll have to go back on my word here. I said that I was done writing about this Lebanon/Israel mess but I cant continue to ignore the big pink elephant in the room, especially when the elephant is getting a missile up his pucker, know what I'm sayin? Plus I have not been pleased with the lack of political content on my site. Don't get me wrong "The Bottled Water Incident" is a classic for the future but politics is my game and Shobrawy is my name.

So what international contradiction is irking me now? Surprise, surprise, its about Lebanon/Israel and who's in the middle, Ehud Olmert and who's trailing behind him begging for table scraps G.W. Bush.
By the way, if international politics was a basketball game, Ehud Olmert would get the 6th man award. Ariel Sharon gets taken out of the game (becomes a vegetable) and Olmert comes off the bench to drop a couple 3 pointers and set a few picks but if I was the referee he would be in foul trouble by now. My apologies to anyone who doesn't watch basketball.

Here's what's bothering me. George W. has stated once again that he would agree with a cease fire but that it would have to "result in lasting peace", something obviously impossible to insure. On the same day Olmert said he would not accept a cease fire with Hezbollah and that Israel would stop when it was finished. So why the contradiction? While Ariel Sharon would communicate with the U.S. on international decisions before making them public, Olmert just doesn't care to behave the same. Meanwhile Georgie is getting thrown under the bus every time he makes a statement because he wants to say what is agreeable to the Knesset but Olmert keeps altering the game plan. Olmert doesnt seem to think its important to stay on the same page, hes moving on to act 2 while George is still on the introduction, Olmert is acting as if the U.S. doesn't pay his bills.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

The Bottled Water Incident

Recently my friend “Special K” moved in with me, he just graduated from college and I thought it would be a good idea if we shared a place. This weekend his friend from college, “Johnny Two Tone” is visiting so we’ve been doing our best to show him a good time. It’s been a success so far, luckily JTT isn’t a douche bag, and he’s actually been a lot of fun, so I have to make sure he has a SUPER DUPER time!

Today we went downtown to eat and walk Michigan Ave., “The Magnificent Mile” (that’s not one of my nicknames, that’s really what it’s called). Today might not have been the best day to walk up and down The Magnificent Mile, I’m no meteorologist but if I had to guess I would say it was 142.8 degrees outside and me being the infinite genius that I am, wore black which significantly magnified the heat.

SIDE NOTE: *While we’re walking we see at least 5 different bums holding signs that say, “I’m Just Hungry”, hand written in the same exact bubble font. Apparently there is a cartel of not very clever con artist “bums” in Chicago. Tourists beware! I am walking past one of these “bums” and he says to me, “Yo man I’m Hungry”, so I turn to him and say, “dude me too, do you know where McDonalds is?”… O.K. that part didn’t happen but it would’ve been funny if it did, no? Anyway, if any of you “bums” I saw today are sitting at home reading this with your morning espresso, change up your strategy.*

At this point we’re sweating so much our clothes are wet and sticking to our bodies, the temperature inside my underwear is approximately 252.3 degrees, so when I see a real bum selling ice cold bottles of water I am so excited that I almost pee on myself. We all buy a bottle of water and throw the guy a couple extra dollars for hustling instead of begging. I take a very anxious sip and immediately my face turns from excitement to confusion, I look around and everyone has the same look…

JTT- Dis wata don’t taste right.

Me- No, it tastes good. (at this point I’m in denial)

JTT- Bro, dis wata don’t taste normal.

I keep drinking in hopes the taste will change…It doesn’t. Finally I concede.

Me- Your right, this water tastes terrible, it tastes like sweat.

JTT- I told ya bro.

Special K-My stomach hurts, I think I'm going to throw up.

We all ended up with stomach aches and I don’t think the “water” was water at all, I think that bum sold us bottled sweat from the crack of his butt.

Incompetent Arab Parenting

Allow me to state the obvious…The Middle East is an upside down place, it has been for a long time and I’m afraid it always will be. When there is a problem you’ve got to go to the source and I think I’ve found it, you can blame everything on the fact that Arabs are the worst parents in the world. Allow me to provide an example of poor Arab parenting. There is an Egyptian coffee shop that I go to with my good friends every once in a while, the food is edible, the people are nice and the waitresses are sub-par at best. Like most coffee shops the air inside has more carcinogens than two tons of asbestos ceiling tile. Despite the obvious health hazards, who walks in at 1:00 a.m.? An Arab couple pushing a stroller! As terrible as that is, I really wasn’t surprised; this is typical Arab parent behavior. I’m pretty sure Osama bin Laden spent a lot of time as a baby in coffee shops and I can’t see how massive amounts of second hand smoke late at night could’ve benefited his development. Just a thought.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Something Awful

This is sick, sad and depressing!


Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Ancestral Shame Strikes Again!

I really feel sorry for people sometimes because so many of us continue to be victims of popular opinion no matter how ridiculous or hypocritical they are. Let me stop being ambiguous and explain.

Through the course of human events certain transgressions have occurred, slavery, segregation, apartheid and several organized genocides including that of the Native Americans, Assyrians, Armenians and eventually the Jews. Most of these genocides have been completely forgotten and people have been allowed to go on with their lives without having to relive the shame of their ancestors for having committed such transgressions. Unfortunately some people have not been allowed to shed that shame. In America whites are doomed to forever have slavery held over their heads and that shame continues to motivate certain public policy and enable severe social problems. This shame is mandated and encouraged by public opinion and begets reverse racism.

I remember years ago my high school basketball coach was scolded by the assistant coach for describing the only black guy on the opponent’s team as, “the black guy”. Why? Well white people in America have been intimidated into conforming to society’s oversensitivity. The phenomenon of over sensitivity has turned a person’s skin color into a racial slur in itself. However do people feel the same uneasiness when referring to a white guy? No, of course not.

So it doesn’t surprise me when I see the same mandated shame carried out in other cultures as exemplified in this story. Apparently the German people have been so severely beaten into a state of mandated shame that they have rejected the idea of being sent to Lebanon as a peace keeping force. They fear German soldiers standing in the face of Jews for its similarity to the holocaust. (Similar in the fact that a Jew and a German are within 50 ft of each other.) These people are completely delusional, check out this quote, “There are Holocaust survivors living in Israel. I don't think they would feel good about German soldiers in South Lebanon, and certainly not if they had to take a stand against an Israeli soldier." So is that to suggest that Jews would also be opposed to Germans being present as peace keepers in south Lebanon? Ask yourself is that paranoia at all reasonable? Is it reasonable for the parties involved to be apprehensive about the race of the other parties involved? Isnt that racism?

P.S. German officials have stated that they would feel more comfortable patrolling the Lebanon/Syria border because they dont expect to see any conflict there. Ummm can a country with some balls please step up!? Who would have expected the Germans to be gun shy?

Remember the Good Old Days?

Remember the good old days? When the bad guys were old men with poor economic strategy who were more likely to build bombs then use them. You know…the Cold War!
Today’s bad guys aren’t nearly as much fun; they are more akin to comic book super villains then simply poor leaders. It’s exactly that reason that has me overwhelmed with joy to see Fidel Castro in the news again. Fidel is back and cracking jokes that despite many Cubans living to be a hundred, "Our little neighbors to the north should not fear, I am not planning to be in office at that age."

Now that Fidel is almost 80, I have trouble seeing the super villain in him, he’s more concerned with running communism into the ground, smoking cigars, wearing army fatigues and taunting the U.S. with figures like Cuba’s low infant mortality rate, he’s more like a feisty and bitter Grandpa then a dictator. I can’t wait till he does die, not because I really care what happens to him personally but because I look forward to seeing what will become of Cuba. Those poor people have been suffering since 1959 and Cuba has the potential to be a beautiful country. Until then I hope Fidel keeps me entertained with his crazy rants.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Condoleeza VS. Condoleeza

Since the Presidents comments to Tony Blair at the G8 Summit we have known that the U.S. has been staunchly opposed to a cease fire, calling it a “false promise”
and ‘not addressing the cause of the problem’. Today Condi is singing a very different tune, the headlines read “Rice Says Cease Fire is Urgent”

So why? Well if I could tell you what kinds of crazy deals are brokered behind closed doors and what words are spoken I’d be a very important person. What is being said is that the conditions of the cease fire would have to be “right”. Well for who, it’s not hard to tell. If you think Israel is going to bombard a whole country and not accomplish what they went there for in the first place, you’re living in a fantasy land, some utopist land that I’d love to visit. Send me a post card or something if your there.

Here’s what I imagine Israel’s cease fire conditions contain. (This is super risky because if none of this comes out to be true I’ll never hear the end of it. If it does end up to be true I’ll look like a political genius…but no one will care. Whatever I like to gamble.)

-The disarmament of Hezbollah.

-The stationing of Israeli troops in south Lebanon for an indefinite amount of time.

-The return of captured solders (of course).


-Something regarding Syria, that part is dicey and yet to be seen.

What can Lebanon hope to gain?

-Very little

-Not much

-Probably nothing


-Possibly erasing their multi-billion dollar debt. (Which would mean Lebanon would have to do most of the dirty work of disarming Hezbollah, which Prime Minister Seniora has refused to do on several occasions.

It remains to be seen if any good can come out of this situation, until then I’m on strike regarding this topic. (Unless something SUPER juicy happens in between, like Iran sending in 100,000 troops. That would be interesting, no?)

P.S. What do you think Condoleeza is talking about in this picture. It's one of those pics that are ripe for a punch line like, "Insert Joke Here"

Saturday, July 22, 2006

It All Makes Sense Now.........I Think.

I think I get it now… I sat down with my friend Q-Ball and discussed what else, the Lebanon/Israel conflict. Q-Ball Came up with a theory that is SO genius, I am absolutely furious I didn’t come up with it first. To better understand the theory there are some things that need to be laid out.

-In the week following the abduction of two Israeli soldiers from the Israel/Lebanon border, Israel has bombarded the whole of Lebanon including, the airport, fuel depots, bridges, roads leading in/out of the country (mostly roads and bridges to Syria) and the ports.

-As we all know the U.S. has, for a substantial amount of time now, been involved in a war in Iraq.

-The U.S. and Israel have had Syria in their sights since before 9/11.

This is where things get interesting….
If you have wondered why Israel would destroy Lebanon’s entire infrastructure for the sake of two soldiers this explains it all.

Let’s say you’re a country (the U.S.) and your buddy (Israel) tells you he’s concerned over his security because one of his neighbors (Syria) is potentially hostile. He wants you to “take care of him” but you’re preoccupied with the last guy he told you to “take care of” (Iraq) and he’s really giving you a hard time. Your also trying to deal with another guy you picked a fight with (Afghanistan). Your spread thin so what can you do?

You invade Lebanon because by destroying the infrastructure of Lebanon including all possible supply lines (sea ports, airports, roads, bridges) you cut off the last possible ally bordering Syria. You have Jordan to the south who has already condemned Syria, Iran and Hezbollah. There’s Turkey to the north which is in no way a part of the equation. Finally there’s Iraq to the east which is, as we all know, a complete upside down mess but still a ready supply of U.S. troops.

By surrounding Syria you can at least pressure them to comply, that or they’ll turn to their best friend Iran and kick start WW3. One thing is crystal clear, invading Lebanon in order to surround Syria has been planned out on paper for a long time now and that supreme dumb ass Nasrallah walked right into it like a schmuck!

P.S. Q-Ball Suggested that Syria was being sandwiched between Lebanon and Iraq, illustrated with a sugar jar, salt and pepper shaker, the rest is all me.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Possible Insight On Why Hezbollah Kidnapped Soldiers

Today I spoke with my good friends mother. I was looking forward to this talk because she is Lebanese and has always had a fair and moderate view of Middle East politics. She has always been quick to condemn all forms of terrorism done in the name of Islam. In addition she always seems to have juicy inside information on certain Lebanese issues and this issue was no different. According to her the leader of Hezbollah, Sheikh Nasrallah, made a sworn promise to a Druze family, expressing he would return their son who had been taken prisoner by Israel. According to her, in order to make due on his promise he kidnapped these Israeli soldiers in hopes that Israel would do a prisoner swap as they had done in the past. As we now know, things didn't go as he planned.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


The more I read, watch, or hear via conventional news outlets or simply word of mouth, the sicker I feel. Of course I'm talking about the current conflict in the Middle East, otherwise known as the, Syria/Lebanon/Israel/Iran/Palestine/U.S. Conflict or as I like to call it the S.L.I.I.P. U.S. conflict. Say it with me “Sliip Us.” The Daily Show should pick that up any day now.

I have prematurely reached the point of sequestering myself from all news sources. Its not that it’s over played or boring, its much worse than that, its that I feel like the world is spiraling out of control and I must sit and wait for one ridiculous course of events to out do the previous. I’m not ready to run down the street and yell the sky is falling, I just feel that playing with fire these days is greatly dissimilar than, 15, 10, even 5 years ago.

Of course I am revealing my age, I wasn’t alive or old enough to remember the all out wars the Arab nations had with Israel previously, so to me this is a big deal. Regardless of that fact however I feel like these are different times, there is so much more at stake now.

Compare SLIIP US to the Arab-Israeli wars of the 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s. Back then before the Jewish lobby grew in the U.S. and started writing Mid East policy, the U.S. played a much more objective role, even providing intelligence information to both Israel and Egypt alike while the two sides were fighting each other. The Arab-Israeli Wars were fought between nations and their army’s, unlike today’s Mid East turmoil which has evolved into a war of religious ideologies and their guerilla fighters.

The world I live in is a complex one tainted with nuclear proliferation and militarily maturing nations, long before believed to be radical but technologically incapable of posing a threat. Now our worst nightmares have been realized, radical nations on the verge of destructive advancements with leaders reminiscent of James Bond Movie Villains. (by the way doesn’t Kim Jong Il seem like the perfect James Bond Villain?)

I’m not saying that WW3 is here but if we get out of this without dramatic escalation I’ll count my blessings.

P.S. Would someone please tell me how Israel attacking Lebanon affects my gas prices? I paid $50 to fill my tank yesterday and I drive a Honda!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Bush Unplugged!

If you haven't already seen it I am putting this here for your listening and viewing pleasure. Its really not that thrilling to hear Georgie curse, I've heard it before.
what's much more entertaining is the quote, "Russia's big and so is China." Yes, taken out of context but funny none the less.

The Soon To Be Changing Face of Lebanon

Tonight I hung out with one of my Lebanese friends that I haven’t seen in a while. We’ll call him “One Man Army”. As soon as I saw him I had to give him a little jab about whats going on and because I’m a sarcastic jerk who rarely shows compassion during tough times, I choose this.

Me: “Bro what’s going on in your country, by the time you go back its either going to be a hot smoldering crater or ‘New Israel’.“

OMA: “Kisimek, irie fik” Translation: Your moms coochie, my dick on you.

We sat down, had some tea, made fun of each other a little bit and finally started talking about the current conflict. What came up didn’t surprise me that much but got me thinking about the future stability of the Middle East. According to OMA and through his correspondence to friends and family in Lebanon, Israel’s aggression has caused the people and especially the youth, to side with Hezbollah. I wouldn’t be terribly shocked by that alone if it wasn’t for the fact that, according to OMA, the young crowd has been hyped by the attacks and looks forward to fighting Israel. As for their parents, they still remember the wars and the pain and the suffering and want nothing but peace, they want the missiles to stop so they can return to their homes and rebuild their country. I found the exact same sentiment in a BBC story about Syria regarding the Syrian youth and their desire to fight as opposed to their parents.

I don’t know what will happen as a result of Israels full scale attack on Lebanon and its effect on the people, it appears that right now it has taken a country of moderates and recruited them into the growing number of bitter war torn people dedicated to hating Israel and throwing their lives away for the cause.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Clinton Vs. Clinton

Bill Clinton is calling Israels response to kidnapped soldiers a disproportionate overreaction.

Meanwhile his wife Hillary says Israel has the right to defend itself.

Why the difference? Well one wants to be president the other has nothing to lose.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

The Time Has Come to Tell You....Why.

It has been a month now since I started my blog, I have accumulated some fans and some critics, always the case when writing about the Middle East. I have also hit the one thousand mark in terms of visits and I feel there is no better time than the present to explain…Why? Why did I start a blog, why do I have such opinions and why do I write the way I do? Maybe the most important issue, why read my blog, what separates me from the rest?

I started a blog because, like most bloggers and most Egyptians, I have something to say and I think everyone should hear it! Naturally, didn’t you already read in my earlier post that I’m the smartest man alive. As far as my writing style is concerned, I desire to give you a mélange of ideas, theories, political views, sarcasm and humor. I write in the moment, out of passion, you might be able to see that in my posts. You will find it difficult to discover my purest views through the site. The reason for this possibly misleading method is that while reading other blogs I discovered everyone writes from an extremely leftist or rightist view, there is no one in the middle, I believe that the majority of opinion is found in the middle. Those on each side of the spectrum defend their side in what appears to be a desire to pull the middle away from their opposition. As Halalhippie eloquently put it, its too easy to buy hand-me-down opinions, we must make our own. That is the message, don’t inherit your opinions from my posts, deduct your own, I encourage debate on the commentary, look at my posts as a blueprint not a manual. So if you see a post that appears on one side or the other, don’t be surprised, you’ll find both on a regular basis. In addition I look at my blog as a place to vent, rant whatever you want to call it, a common vise of any blogger. So for those of you who get it, enjoy, for those of you who don’t keep reading and never hesitate to challenge!


God Bless

D.B. Shobrawy

What is D.B. Shobrawy doing RIGHT NOW?

What am I doing?-
Sitting in an Arabic coffee shop writing while Arabs watch Al-Jazeera and crack cynical jokes. You've got to love it, they are pissed at what's going on but cant help being happy they are in America.

Seriously you should see these guys, how focused they are, its as if World Cup is on.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Poor Lebanon.

I can’t help but feel so terrible for Lebanon and the Lebanese. Here is a country who has been embroiled in conflict since 1860. Since the end of major conflict in 1990, Lebanon has been rebuilt and has stood as an example to its neighbors as a Moderate nation. Beirut has been rebuilt into a jewel of the Middle East even being called the Paris of the Middle East and now its infrastructure is being destroyed, exit roads, bridges, power plants, oil reserves and even the airport.

I have trouble seeing how those kinds of attacks specifically affect Hezbollah, it is the people of Lebanon who will suffer here and despite the circumstances no one sympathizes with Israel, hardly even the United States. George Bush knows not to bite the hand that feeds him and so he has made statements such as, "We (Me and Dick) stand by Israel’s right to defend itself." While at the same time telling the President of Lebanon, "We are trying to compel Israel not to attack infrastructures." Do I really have to tell you who answers to whom, of course not.

What an extremely sad turn of events, my take is that Israel is using the kidnapping as an excuse to attack its neighbors, nothing more, they couldn’t be happier about their soldiers getting kidnapped. Israel would be more than happy to start WW3 as well, its like when your a tiny powerless 10 year old and you pick fights with everyone in your neighborhood because you know your older brother will beat up anyone who messes with you. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard Iran mentioned these last couple days, how is Iran involved, they aren’t of course. Iran supports the countries involved but that is no surprise. Another report I heard was that the "drone" missile Hezbollah used to attack the war ship bombing Lebanon was built in Iran. Yea, and the M-16s used by the Lebanese army were sold to them by the U.S., its a non issue but of course it does its job as a buzz word that gets everyone to side against Iran. Watch what is happening, observe how often Iran comes up in the news, they are the new "evil" just as Iraq has been our adversary for the last 15 years.

Funny Note: I have a Palestinian friend who went to Lebanon for the summer because "Palestine is too dangerous". Poor bastard, now hes stuck there with no way of getting out. His MySpace message says, "You will never know what its like to wake up to explosions and the concussion of bombs"

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Worlds Smartest Man: D.B. Shobrawy

Its official, I have been awarded as the Worlds Smartest Man. Let me explain how I was bestowed with this immense honor.

There is a website that I have made a link to in the right column called Blufr. For those who are a vessel of "useless" info, this site is for you!

You have to answer "Way" or "No Way". I just killed it. My final score is 22777! The highest score in the WORLD!!!! My score is listed with the Initials DBS for D.B. Shobrawy. Check it out and test your witt.

UPDATE: Some wise guy has just beaten my score, have no fear, I will trump him shortly.

UPDATE: totally sucks, my score of 22777 has been replaced by 16291. how does that work. Bye Bye Blufr!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Polarizing Politics

As I watch the news and observe popular opinion I wonder, how did I arrive at the opinions which have made me the alternative thinker I am? My opinions cannot be described as conservative or liberal because really what do those titles mean and who can truly fit into a right wing or left wing mold. Sometimes I feel as if I am living in the Twilight Zone, how did the world become so polarized?

This is how…

It’s hard to find opinions that are independent of a singular ideology or political affiliation and I can only blame this on societies sheep mentality. Somewhere between the news reports, political speeches and the war on terror people gave up on contemplation and subscribed to someone else’s brand of reason. I am not going to be a conspiracy theorist but somehow we have been convinced that there are only two ways of thinking (liberal or conservative) and therefore to identify with one or the other is to take on a whole laundry list of opinions. No one knows what they believe in anymore they look towards their title to decide for them, “oh well I am a Democrat so I guess that means I am pro-choice”.

In the same way we have been cornered into passive support of our leaders and their policies regardless of whose interest they are in. You either follow blindly or get labeled as anti-patriotic and so we sign our lives away in fear of labels. The result is a chain link of opinions-You’re a patriot-You support the administration-You support the war-You hate the French. Huh? How did that happen?

A good friend of mine is the worlds most staunch republican, except that he isn’t exposed to the news and doesn’t care to be. However he believes Regan was God incarnate, thinks George W. Bush is his only begotten son and hates France for reasons he can’t explain. He represents the growing number of Americans who are subscribed to an ideology they don’t understand for reasons they don’t know. These are the same people who bought, “They are jealous of our freedom.”

Awesome View of Zidane Headbutt

Monday, July 10, 2006

Who Needs Photoshop, Reality Is Much Funnier!

Whoever nelson is...I'm sure he never heard the end of this.

Why do Europeans love streaking so much?

Sidewalk art.

Saturday, July 08, 2006


I don’t quite know how aware people are of the difference between American media and foreign media. One of the best mediums to view the difference is CNN vs. BBC. All you have to do is first look through BBC News and find an article concerning world politics which you find significant. Then go to CNN and search for the same story, what you will often find is that the story is either…

A) Not there.
B) Buried so deep that you had trouble finding it.
C) Lacking in crucial details.
D) Conveyed in a way that tells a different story.

What I found today may be an example of “D”. I went to BBC News and on the front page found a story called, “Annan warning on Gaza 'disaster'”, even more interesting was the subtitle, “UN Secretary General Kofi Annan has demanded that Israel take urgent action to prevent a humanitarian disaster in the Gaza Strip.” This might not be surprising or odd to many of you but it struck me as aggressive from an American newsreaders point of view.

I am going to summarize the article while quoting and highlighting the buzz words.
The article stated that Kofi Annan was “demanding” Israel avoid humanitarian disaster by restoring supplies of food and fuel and that Israel repair a power plant they had destroyed in air attacks. Also that Israel “must” allow U.N. agencies to work in the region and saying that Mr. Annan was becoming increasingly “blunt” in his statements.

If you look at CNN you will not find any headline concerning Annan “warning” Israel, you will not find any such buzz words as demanding, must allow or blunt statements. What you will find is a article detailing the strategy and scale of the Israeli attack of Gaza with the last sentence saying the following,

“The escalating conflict prompted U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan to urge the U.N. Security Council to address the situation in Gaza.”

What a stark contrast, this sentence makes it seem as though Kofi Annan is a completely powerless puppet begging his own council to see if they have time in their busy schedule to “address” the “situation” in Gaza. What a completely fruitless statement totally devoid of detail and as a result lacking in reality. I am providing both articles for you to compare and contrast.



BBC Report: E.U. Condemns Israel.

I love the BBC and I love the E.U., not for the reason you may think. I'm not the type to bash on Israel for the sake of it or bash on Palestine for the sake of it. If you didn't gather that from my previous posts let me make it clear now. As far as the whole conflict goes I feel that the Israelis bought their problem. This is the nature of occupation and let me remind you that Israel has occupied for only 50 plus years, it took the Arabs over 500 years to subdue Egypt, so really we haven't seen nothing yet. As far as the Palestinians go, they are unquestionably an oppressed people but if they didn't have Israel to fight with they would be fighting with their neighbors, plus guys who blow themselves up to kill woman and children are very hard to sympathize with. I think its really simple, its not a 100% pro Israel thing or a 100% pro Palestine thing, In actuality they both suck equally.

To see that the E.U. is condemning Israel for using a, "disproportionate force and making a humanitarian crisis worse during operations in the Gaza Strip" is comforting only because it gives hope that there are governing bodies that take a balanced stance on the conflict. Its a welcome change from the Arab nations and their non-stop hatred of Israel and a welcome change from the U.S. and their non-stop butt kissing of Israel. Leave it to Europe to find the middle. BBC News Report

The Voice That Almost Made Me Vomit

I'm at my buddy's house, lets call him, "Baller on a Budget". We are just hanging out with plans to go out somewhere but we don't know exactly where.

I'm dressed up and feeling about as comfortable as a Sumo wrestler in a tuxedo, so I will be damned if we aren't going somewhere. Of course because I'm the unluckiest person to ever live we end up sitting there and waiting for Baller on a Budgets friend from work to show up.

The guy shows up and, wow he sure likes to talk....A lot! First of all hes from New York and has a THICK Brooklyn accent. His voice was really whinney and nasal and he liked to say things that made absolutely no sense, he reminded me of Baller on a Budgets cousin who might be retarded. This guys voice was like Rosie Perez mixed with Woody Allen and Jerry Lewis, the combination made me want to vomit, his voice was vomitile. (By the way I'm not sure if vomitile is a word, I don't know google it or something but I'll define it for you. Vomitile-Being of a nature which induces vomiting.)

Worst thing is that he liked to talk a lot, what a bad combination. Why does that happen, its like how people with bad breath always want to tell you secrets. At several points during the interaction, Baller on a Budgets brother looked at me with his eyes wide open and his jaw dropped in amazement over the obnoxious severity of this guys voice.

To add to my pain and discomfort they wanted to talk about cars. Now I like cars almost as much as the next guy but there is a point where your conversation is designed only to impress the other guy and inevitably becomes what I like to call a "stroke fest". "Stroke fests" go something like this.

Loser #1- Dude the Bentley coupe is the best driving car out there.
Loser #2- Totally, I don't like the cup holders though.
Loser #1- Yea, you know what car has great cup holders, the Rolls Royce.
Loser #2- Oh definitely.

Imagine listening to several variations of that conversation for an hour and a half. If you listen closely you can actually hear yourself getting dumber. However I couldn't hear that over the sound of my projectile vomiting.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Does Someone Have A Trick Up Their Sleeve?

Some people may ask, "Why do you have a link to BBC News?" Well simply because the British media is willing to report on things that the American media is not. Even if the British and American media do report on the same controversial issues, often the American medias story is late and lacking in detail. The following is a case in point.


The BBC has published a claim by Egyptian lawyer, Mamdouh Ismail which suggests Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi's heir, Ayyub al-Masri is in an Egyptian Prison and has been for 7 years. In addition he is claiming that the reason for the "mix-up" is part of a disinformation campaign. Evidence to support this claim would include the naming of Abu Hamza el-Muhajer as Al-Zarqawis heir by Osama bin Laden on his most recent tape. Some have suggested the two men are one in the same citing that "el-Muhajer" in Arabic means the immigrant, suggesting it is a name given to Al-Masri, as he is an Egyptian in Iraq. However no one except the Arab conspiracy theorists will believe Mamdouh Ismail's claim. He is a former activist and associate of Osama bin Ladens deputy, Ayman al-Zawahiri. Even if what he was saying was true and even if naming Al-Masri as a terrorist was an honest "mistake", there is no question that none of us will ever know about it, his voice will be suppressed and so will any further details of the story. America doesn't give Hosni Moubarak 2 billion a year for nothing.

BTW: Since when do Egyptians wear those head dresses.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

The Plague- Has This Ever Happened to You?

Yesterday I met up with some Egyptian friends that I haven’t hung out with in a long time, it was a mix of people consisting of those I haven’t seen because they’ve been away at school, people who I don’t see often for unknown reasons and people I haven’t seen because I avoid them like the plague. Luckilly my friend “Q-Ball” decided to join me.

We decide to meet down town where a big festival is going on. My first mistake was taking public transportation and walking a long distance to meet them up. I ended up walking a distance so long that I wouldn’t even dare walk back the same way. It’s kind of like when you go running and you try not to run too far from the house so you don’t dread coming back. Even worse I subjected myself to not having a convenient escape plan, if I had my car it would be no problem but now I’d be stuck with whoever I’m with for a considerable amount of time.

I call one of the guys in the group who I actually like and he tells me the names of the people with him, I don’t recognize any of them. One of the people he mentions is a girl from out of town with the same last name so I am a little intrigued because well it’s a girl.

When I get there I see the group…

The guy I actually like and don’t see often for unknown reasons, “B-Ball”

The guy who has been away at school, “Dopey”

The new girl, “Philly”


“The Plague” – The Plague is that guy who always tries to involve himself in your conversations, he acts really corny and when there are girls around he hears wedding bells and acts like an even bigger fool.

I am pissed as soon as I see The Plague, me and my buddy, Q-Ball start laughing as soon as we see him. I say hi to everyone and introduce myself to Philly. Immediately I’m thinking maybe this wont be that bad. I walked around and minded my own business trading comments with B-Ball and Q-Ball. Philly seems cool at first so I’m in a good mood as long as I don’t have prolonged exposure to The Plague, his personality is kind of like radiation, being that prolonged exposure to either will kill you.

I’m starting to get annoyed because whenever I talk to Philly, The Plague butts in because he obviously has the hots for her and is terrified any other guy will catch her attention. I’m too smart to make myself look like a jackass so I sit back and let him embarrass himself.

Later on as the night is near its end everyone decides that they are tired and its time to go home.

Q-Ball- “I’ve got work tomorrow”

Dopey-“I have to drive back to the suburbs still”

B-Ball-“Yea I have to work”

The Plague- “I have to go home and feed my pet snake while listening to elevator music on the AM radio.”

I’m kidding he didn’t say that. He said he had work at 6 a.m. but that’s just code for pet snake/elevator music.

Me- “I have nothing tomorrow morning and I am up for anything”

Philly- “Yea me too, lets do something”

Needless to say The Plague almost had a heart attack. So we start walking towards someone’s car while me and Philly decide what we want to do. The Plague is racking his brain trying to figure out how he can disrupt the plan. Its now 11 o’clock and he throws this out.

The Plague- “You know maybe I will come with, yea I’ll come too”

He offers to take us to my place to pick up my car, it takes him an hour to find his car ( I swear) and we are finally on our way. Me and Philly decided to go to this Arabic restaurant/coffee shop that’s open late so The plague follows me there and the fun begins! I have presented a timeline for your pleasure.

12:00- We get in the car, The Plague turns on Smooth Jazz on the AM radio.

12:01- The Plague says, “Jazz is so cool because it brakes all the rules while at the same time not breaking the rules” I say, “wow that’s really philosophical” in a sarcastic tone, Philly Laughs.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Every time The Plague says something that Philly doesn’t agree with he gets scared that she wont like him so he chimes in 5 mins later to re-explain himself and ultimately makes a fool of himself.

12:15- We get to the place and sit down, The Plague makes a comment suggesting he would sit in another area of the restaurant if “hot” girls were sitting there. I explain how pathetic that is and Philly says she agrees with me. (clearly a lapse in judgment for The Plague).

12:16- We start playing cards

12: 20- The Plague says to Philly, “I don’t want you to think I’m one of those guys, I just blah blah blah blah blah” he stopped making sense after “just”.

The Plague continued embarrassing himself with predictable 5 minute intervals. It was just one land mine after another, he just couldn’t help himself. At some point I almost felt bad for him but naahhh forget that!

Finally its one O’clock in the morning, The Plague has to be up in 5 hours, the conversations went like this.

The Plague-“ Its late I have to be up early, I should go.” (while looking at Philly)

Philly- “oh well we we’re going to stay, he’s(D.B. Shobrawy) going to drive me home anyway”

The Plague- “Well maybe I’ll stay another half hour”

What a tool! If you guys can’t see what’s going on I won’t explain it to you. Finally at 1:35 a.m. The Plague leaves a shell of his former self. Philly turns to me later and says, “he was like pushing himself to hang out, why was he trying so hard, that’s so stupid.” Me and Philly stayed till 3 a.m. talking and having a good time. We exchanged numbers and I drove her home. As for The Plague he played himself, he tried too hard and Philly knew it. I hope he was late to work in the morning.

Monday, July 03, 2006

The End of Days Has Arrived

Great now Korea wants beef too! Can we really afford this right now? George W. Bush wins my award for “Worst Leader in the History of Civilization”. This Administration picked a fight with every kid in the neighborhood and now our military is spread thinner than Dick Cheney's hair line. I can see G.W. sitting up praying to God that Iran and Korea don’t start any trouble. Look at the news you can actually hear George W. begging Iran not to pick a fight while at the same time trying not to sound like a sally. God save us all!

Canadian Terrorists, Eh?

Surprise, surprise, out of Toronto’s immense population of terrorist sympathizing scum bags, 17 have been accused of plotting terrorist attacks against Canadian government targets as well as plotting to blow up the CN Tower. More disconcerting is that the men successfully acquired 5 tons of ammonium nitrate, 5 times the amount used in the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing.

Apparently the 17 men were all members of the same mosque so naturally this would be a good time for the congregation and Torontos Islamic community to condemn the terrorist plot but………….yea we are still waiting for that to happen. Following this lack of condemnation the mosque has been defaced by thrown rocks and broken windows which the congregation did speak out against with a small rally in front of the mosque accompanied by chants by the congregation condemning the American military presence in Afghanistan.

I don’t understand why this problem continues to arise. If I was a Buddhist and some crazy guys in my temple decided to blow up the local Wal-Mart. I would make it my duty to publicly condemn their actions in order to erase any conceptions that the congregation and I share the same violent and murderous beliefs. To be fair this particular mosque might not be versed in public relations and due to lack of experience passed on the opportunity to condemn the groups actions, however I think when you fail to condemn your brothers who plan to murder innocent people but do condemn people for throwing stones at the mosque, it may send a mixed message as to your priorities. Certainly the community, Muslim or otherwise would have supported the congregation in speaking out against aggression towards the mosque had they first spoke out against the terrorist plotters.

A Public Service Announcement

I need to put something out there for the world to know. Consider this a public service announcement.

DISCLAIMER: This is not a PSA condoning metrosexual behavior because as we all know a METROsexual is a borderline HOMOsexual.

However what I am promoting is that all you men of mediterrainian, eastern European or Arab decent groom your uni-brow!! There are rules to grooming your uni-brow.

No Waxing

No Shaving

No Shaping


None of that wierd string thing that they do at the Arabic places

Waxing, shaping and wierd string thing are reserved for women and shaving is just wrong so what can you do.
Go to your Mom or your sisters bathroom and STEAL their tweezers, and if you don't have tweezers, use two nickels or something, but you don't want to leave the house looking like this guy...

But don't go nuts cause you don't want to look like this guy either.

The Bell Curve

Hey everyone it’s me again, the following post was put up waaaay back but I had to take it down due to some computer issues, sorry to the people who left comments before because I will not be able to put them back. So enjoy it.........


I have a philosophy, simply it’s that stereotypes are true. Now most of you are saying to yourselves, "“oh no here we go"” and even after I explain you will still object strongly just because you've been brainwashed to oppose any such thinking. Simply because, the most liberal thinking controls popular thought! Nonetheless I stand by simple realities to help you see more clearly, if you continue to see the world through rose colored glasses that’s your problem.

To understand there are a few things that must be established:

1. Stereotypes are as natural to your brain as the need to eat sleep and drink. Your brain is like Colombo; it puts facts together little by little but very rapidly and compiles them for you in your subconscious without you knowing it. Why? The obvious answer is for your protection. If you ever stayed awake in biology class you would've picked up on the fact that the human mind and body are designed for survival. Research starvation and the hierarchal order your body eats away at its self and you'll be blown away, it’s amazing.

2. Truth in stereotypes is characterized by having a commonality among the majority or even a commonality within a very noticeable minority. Some people try to shoot down stereotypes because they can name one Mexican who doesn’t cut lawns. Congratulations you just told us what we already know! Some people just refuse to accept that the law of averages is a LAW! Which brings me to my next point.....

3. The Bell Curve
this is one of the most basic and absolute realities of life. Make sure you understand because we will refer back to the chart.

4. Stereotypes are not defined by being negative. People inherently assume that and that's why you probably objected before you finished the first sentence.

Now for the good stuff people. Lets go over some scenarios
You are walking down the street at 2 A.M. in a bad neighborhood (the concept of a neighborhood being a bad neighborhood is a stereotype in itself by the way) and there is a tall and mean looking guy walking behind you, insert whatever race you want. If your smart and you didn't suppress all those observations your Colombo like brain has compiled, you should be thinking, oh crap! Now thanks to the law of averages that guy could be over near -4 and he could be over by 4. Because your in a bad neighborhood, "0" would represent, "“this guy is probably going to kill me"” and "4" represents, "this guy is definitely going to kill me" Your hoping he's a -4! Your brain always functions in survival mode, you would be an IDIOT to assume he is in the "no interest in killing me"” range because even if he is, it’s not worth playing devils advocate just so you can be politically correct. In the end nothing happens, the guy is just as scared as you walking home this late and just wants to get out of harms way.

You're walking down the street and you see….. What’s a really non threatening character, how about a Nun? Yea that works. You see a Nun walking behind you in broad day light with the biggest smile on her face. You’re not scared of course. Why aren’t you scared? You feel at ease about a Nun because you formed a stereotype in your brain a long time ago that Nuns are on your "“Not Going to Kill Me"” list. Now according to the law of averages does that mean you are safe? Well if she falls in between -2 and 4 your good, -2 to 2 is your average good Nun. 2 to 4 are the REALLY nice Nuns but -4 to -2 are the extremely rare Nun/Serial killers. Of course this is the rare instance where a stereotype could work against you but hardly anyone would blame you for letting a Nun sneak up on you and attack you with a chain saw, seriously who would see that coming?

The second scenario is the most common type of stereotype, minus the Nun/serial killer but the observance of normal trends or stereotypes like these are ones you process every minute but never realize. The stereotype getting all the press is the first scenario. Why? Because everyone is terrified to offend someone else, we live in a society of protected groups. The only group that you can criticize is the "white male", but try criticizing the black male or the gay male, in a second you will have the political correctness police up your butt. God forbid we point out the obvious for our own protection. It’s to the extent that even positive racial stereotypes are considered offensive. I am sorry but when I see an Asian guy I can’t help but ask him if he could help me with my math homework or if he’d like to play chess. What about negative stereotypes about my own people, for example "Arabs smell" True again! Showers and deodorant are less than paramount in the Middle East. Now when you hear stereotypes like these just visualize the bell curve. The majority of smelly Arabs fall into the bulk of the curve, the smelliest are on the far right and the ones who insist on showering and wearing deodorant are on the far left. Simple enough?

I hope this clears things up, if you would like to discuss this further feel free to leave a comment, I would be more than happy to entertain your thoughts.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Stupid People Announce World Cup, Hilarity Does Not Ensue.

Watching World Cup on American T.V. sucks! Its nice that all the games are on T.V. but listening to these guys make completely ignorant comments, exposing their unfamiliarity with the game, is excruciating.

Yesterday while speaking about the Germany vs. Argentina game the announcer said he didn't "care for penalty kicks very much" and that he thinks "they should just keep playing". Dude are you out of your mind, anyone who doesn't like penalty kicks doesn't like football. That's like a basketball announcer saying, "you know I really don't like slam dunks, they shouldn't be allowed to touch the rim." That announcer clearly suffers from an extreme and evolved form of mental retardation common near nuculear disaster sites like Hiroshima or Chernobyl.