Yesterday I met up with some Egyptian friends that I haven’t hung out with in a long time, it was a mix of people consisting of those I haven’t seen because they’ve been away at school, people who I don’t see often for unknown reasons and people I haven’t seen because I avoid them like the plague. Luckilly my friend “Q-Ball” decided to join me.
We decide to meet down town where a big festival is going on. My first mistake was taking public transportation and walking a long distance to meet them up. I ended up walking a distance so long that I wouldn’t even dare walk back the same way. It’s kind of like when you go running and you try not to run too far from the house so you don’t dread coming back. Even worse I subjected myself to not having a convenient escape plan, if I had my car it would be no problem but now I’d be stuck with whoever I’m with for a considerable amount of time.
I call one of the guys in the group who I actually like and he tells me the names of the people with him, I don’t recognize any of them. One of the people he mentions is a girl from out of town with the same last name so I am a little intrigued because well it’s a girl.
When I get there I see the group…
The guy I actually like and don’t see often for unknown reasons, “B-Ball”
The guy who has been away at school, “Dopey”
The new girl, “Philly”
“The Plague” – The Plague is that guy who always tries to involve himself in your conversations, he acts really corny and when there are girls around he hears wedding bells and acts like an even bigger fool.
I am pissed as soon as I see The Plague, me and my buddy, Q-Ball start laughing as soon as we see him. I say hi to everyone and introduce myself to Philly. Immediately I’m thinking maybe this wont be that bad. I walked around and minded my own business trading comments with B-Ball and Q-Ball. Philly seems cool at first so I’m in a good mood as long as I don’t have prolonged exposure to The Plague, his personality is kind of like radiation, being that prolonged exposure to either will kill you.
I’m starting to get annoyed because whenever I talk to Philly, The Plague butts in because he obviously has the hots for her and is terrified any other guy will catch her attention. I’m too smart to make myself look like a jackass so I sit back and let him embarrass himself.
Later on as the night is near its end everyone decides that they are tired and its time to go home.
Q-Ball- “I’ve got work tomorrow”
Dopey-“I have to drive back to the suburbs still”
B-Ball-“Yea I have to work”
The Plague- “I have to go home and feed my pet snake while listening to elevator music on the AM radio.”
I’m kidding he didn’t say that. He said he had work at 6 a.m. but that’s just code for pet snake/elevator music.
Me- “I have nothing tomorrow morning and I am up for anything”
Philly- “Yea me too, lets do something”
Needless to say The Plague almost had a heart attack. So we start walking towards someone’s car while me and Philly decide what we want to do. The Plague is racking his brain trying to figure out how he can disrupt the plan. Its now 11 o’clock and he throws this out.
The Plague- “You know maybe I will come with, yea I’ll come too”
He offers to take us to my place to pick up my car, it takes him an hour to find his car ( I swear) and we are finally on our way. Me and Philly decided to go to this Arabic restaurant/coffee shop that’s open late so The plague follows me there and the fun begins! I have presented a timeline for your pleasure.
12:00- We get in the car, The Plague turns on Smooth Jazz on the AM radio.
12:01- The Plague says, “Jazz is so cool because it brakes all the rules while at the same time not breaking the rules” I say, “wow that’s really philosophical” in a sarcastic tone, Philly Laughs.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Every time The Plague says something that Philly doesn’t agree with he gets scared that she wont like him so he chimes in 5 mins later to re-explain himself and ultimately makes a fool of himself.
12:15- We get to the place and sit down, The Plague makes a comment suggesting he would sit in another area of the restaurant if “hot” girls were sitting there. I explain how pathetic that is and Philly says she agrees with me. (clearly a lapse in judgment for The Plague).
12:16- We start playing cards
12: 20- The Plague says to Philly, “I don’t want you to think I’m one of those guys, I just blah blah blah blah blah” he stopped making sense after “just”.
The Plague continued embarrassing himself with predictable 5 minute intervals. It was just one land mine after another, he just couldn’t help himself. At some point I almost felt bad for him but naahhh forget that!
Finally its one O’clock in the morning, The Plague has to be up in 5 hours, the conversations went like this.
The Plague-“ Its late I have to be up early, I should go.” (while looking at Philly)
Philly- “oh well we we’re going to stay, he’s(D.B. Shobrawy) going to drive me home anyway”
The Plague- “Well maybe I’ll stay another half hour”
What a tool! If you guys can’t see what’s going on I won’t explain it to you. Finally at 1:35 a.m. The Plague leaves a shell of his former self. Philly turns to me later and says, “he was like pushing himself to hang out, why was he trying so hard, that’s so stupid.” Me and Philly stayed till 3 a.m. talking and having a good time. We exchanged numbers and I drove her home. As for The Plague he played himself, he tried too hard and Philly knew it. I hope he was late to work in the morning.